At 8:30PM tonight, make sure you turn all your lights on, power up your TVs and stereos, and celebrate the Technological Achievements of Humanity. Get in your cars and drive somewhere, just for the sake of it, and just for fun. Raise and lower your garage doors, and run your washing machines. Run the dryer without anything in it. Got a power mower? Crank it up. Heat up your cat’s food in the microwave. Take your dog out to Burger King. Make as many long distance telephone calls as you can. Run your dishwasher with half of the normal load, and run the other half separately. Open up your refrigerator door, and look without removing anything to eat. Do it again. Download updates for all your computer programs and email them to all your friends.
LET’S CELEBRATE AMAZING ACHIEVEMENTS FOR A CHANGE!
“But why should I do that?” you ask. I’ll tell you.
We’re fighting Global Cooling. Mostly we’re fighting Global Idiocy, but let’s call it Global Cooling for now. The feel-good crowd will never know the difference anyway.
Those folks who think that turning their electricity off for an hour will “save the planet” (or “send a message” to someone or something) are the same folks who stood outside their homes a couple of years ago with candle wax dripping over their fingers, believing that the space shuttle was gonna zoom by and take a photo of the earth lit up with peace candles. My message is:
Tags: global cooling, Global Stupidity, global warming, morons, Obama
Saturday, 28 March 2009 at 4:08 PM
I’m glad I saw this post in time and now I can do my part. Thanks, Bunks. I don’t know I’d do without you.
Back to your superhero: nice and the Mr. T, Chuck Norris and Frank cartoon link: hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
And great song link. I’m just chilling to that right now while I sign off here…and try to catch up on reading other blogs.
Saturday, 28 March 2009 at 5:50 PM
Unfin– Nice to see you here. We have eco-friendly go carts powered by fossil fuels and global warming propaganda fliers for you to tour around in behind the tobacco drying shack next to the distillery. If you haven’t done so already, stop by our Visitors Center located at the top right of the front page underneath the logo. –Bunk
Monday, 30 March 2009 at 7:37 PM
There are some (most, I’d venture to say) of us who don’t believe that turning off the lights for an hour is going to reverse all of humanity’s actions from the past 300 years or so. I personally take these events as opportunities to practice for the impending zombie apocalypse. If you can’t live without BK and ESPN for an hour, you’re going to be toast when the dead start rising from their graves.
Monday, 30 March 2009 at 9:00 PM
andisc–
300 years? Try several thousand years of compounded interest in the knowlege hole, and I still won’t pay for cable. I never wanted MY MTV either. Zombies are relatively easy to eradicate since they don’t breed.
Tuesday, 31 March 2009 at 6:26 AM
The zombies were allegorical. But you’re right about the several thousand years. Just look at cows.
Tuesday, 31 March 2009 at 6:38 PM
COWS? WHERE?
ZOMBIES HAVE A RELIGION? Oh, man, it’s worse than I imagined.