“Now… with my face tripping me, I trundle and stravaig wearily behind Mrs Bastard, and Mrs Bastard’s mammy. My houghs are aching, my arms fair pulled out of their oxter’s, carrying shopping bags the equivalent in weight of a Volkswagen under each arm. My mooth being drier than the watering holes of the Sudan. My bank balance lighter than a ballerinas fart, I am continuing to rue my words woefully.”
I’ve got little idea of what Jimmy Bastard is ranting about, but anyone who uses a phrase as delicate as “lighter than a ballerina’s fart” is okay by me. It’s somehow connected with this picture:
There’s also gotta be a pun in there somewhere. Have at it.
[Image and quote from here. He warned me, too.]
Tacky Raccoons 
Jimmy Bastard has been my find of the year so far. His big footed wife is a lucky woman 🙂
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JB’s a good storyteller. Thanks for the linkoid.
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That’s one big foot!
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