[All from Halbot Mail.]
I’m not a huge fan of beards attached to my face, but I tend to rank the beards of others on a scale of “Oh, it’s a beard” to “I WANT TO TOUCH THAT BEARD.”
He looks like the kind of guy who’d sit in that chair, running a comb through that beard.
But maybe that’s just me.
Of course, many other people have particularly wondrous beards, large and small, but there’s just one that I don’t even call a beard.
By now, you’re probably starting to question my sanity. I am, too. And this is just my second post. So now with my mental stability in question, let us continue with the very GOD OF BEARDDOM. I am, of course, referring to the late, great Billy Mays Jr.
Well, I think this basically wraps up my beard-talk. Go ahead to this website for top quality beards from history.
But wait! One more addition! How could I have forgotten Chuck Norris and Mr. T? HOW? I do believe if I had forgotten to mention them in the post at all, my head would explode upon the publishing date. I’m glad there’s that categories bar within the range of my sight.
Do Andy Rooney’s eyebrows count as beards?
U.S. Patent No. 7,488,244, filed in April, 2007, by Donald Tyler of Cadiz, KY. Abstract:
“An apparatus for skinning a squirrel that is easily manufactured, portable, quick and in which the apparatus can be mounted to a variety of surfaces. The apparatus comprises a base plate connected to toggle clamp in which the toggle clamp is engaged to press two metal tubes tightly together. The base plate is bent at an angle and secured to a stationary object. The tail of the squirrel is placed in the apparatus in between the two metal tubes and the toggle clamp is engaged to secure the tail. The skin is pulled from the uncut skin of the tail thereby removing the skin from the body in two pieces of skin.”
In other words, it’s a toggle clamp. Very cool.
On the other hand, `Mr. Squirrel® looks like a lot more fun. It comes with TWO attached key rings and a handy braided thong so that The Squirrel Hunter in your family can wear it around his/her neck when not in use. What a deal!
…especially when I’m bored and have a Sharpie Marker nearby.