There’s a happy patient. One squeeze and she’s happy; two squeezes and she’s dancing on the table; three squeezes and she’s prepared to serve in congress.
[Found here. Nice one, McGoo.]
Archive for June, 2010
Cephalopod Gas Passing
Monday, 21 June 2010Eat Me.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
Vegan purists won’t eat meat because they believe that eating things that are even barely sentient don’t deserve to be eaten. Beef, sheep, goats, pigs, poultry, etc. are out as are products, like milk, butter, yogurt and eggs. So are fish, shrimp, and other crustaceans.
I’m okay with that. Keeps the demand down so I can eat more for less money.
So, meat is definitely out. There’s no question that plants, although they have no central brains, also feel distress when maimed or killed for human consumption. Therefore we shouldn’t eat them either, as they deserve life, too.
Algea? No. They’re plants. Bacteria? No. They respond to stimuli as well. So what’s left? Cannibalism.
Cannibalism is out for the same reasons as basic veganism. This leaves rocks.
Well, you can’t eat rocks because the ancients (and some folks in Berkeley) believe they hold the souls of our ancestors, and are therefore off the menu as well. Lava? Nope. It’s the blood and soul of volcanoes, and they harbor spirits as well.
Hmmm. That leaves only one thing left to consume. Beer.
And to the first commenter that mentions yeast, or hops and barley, eat me.
[Image from here.]
The .Gif Friday Post No. 132 – Attack of the Memes
Friday, 18 June 2010
Old Blind Smoke’s Birthday
Thursday, 17 June 2010
Smoke, a 39 year old harbor seal in captivity at the New England Aquarium is presented with a special present for her birthday in Boston, MA. Like many people of such advanced age, the seal has very limited vision. Life expectancy for most seals is the mid-20’s.
[Image with caption found here.]
Interview with a Door
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
[Found in here.]
Jeannie’s Bottle
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Her pad wasn’t cool, but Barbara Eden was hot.
Just like Elizabeth Montgomery in “Bewitched,” “I Dream Of Jeannie” gave a lot of teenage boys fodder for late night fireside hypothetical discussions.
[Image found here.]
Catfish
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
Cat Painting is kinda “meh” in my book, but this image made me smile. [Found here.]
Downtown Dogpatch
Monday, 14 June 2010
We Kicked England’s Balls
Sunday, 13 June 2010
Although the World Cup actually began yesterday somewhere in Africa, the USA team kicked England’s arse in a tie of 1-1. I’ll explain why shortly.
The game supposedly originated when victorious Brits began a game of kicking around the skull of a dispatched Roman soldier. Eventually the skull was replaced with an inflated sheep’s bladder (brilliance), and they began kicking that up and down the path between rival villages. The game spread to other villages, and gained the name of “Association Football,” abbreviated to “Assoc.” A participant was termed an “Assoc-er,” thus was the game of Soccer introduced into the English speaking world.
I doubt the previous summary is entirely accurate, but humor me for the attempt at historical improvisation.
Most Americans these days are introduced to Soccer (or Football as the rest of the civilized world calls it) via AYSO, an excellent organization that introduces their kids to the sport and allows parents to yell at each other with impunity over rules they don’t understand. The offsides rule is particularly difficult for us yanks to comprehend because you can’t actually see it unless you are standing right behind the line judge (who is constantly in motion up and down the sidelines) when the foul occurs.
So today, England, the ancestral homeland of the sport, was supposed to have had an easy win over the supposedly inept USA team. It was expected to be a blowout, and with a goal within the first five minutes of play, England led by infinity. However, in the last few minutes of the first half, the Brit keeper floundered allowing a tie score. He’s on suicide watch now, although it wasn’t entirely his fault as nine of his own teammates blew it before the bladder even reached him.
The USA team should be proud, even at a final score of 1-1. England got their pointy little noses polished. Now we’ll work on their teeth.
