Archive for the ‘A Bunk Original’ Category

Hello, I am Ms. Twitter.

Sunday, 21 June 2015

Twitter Switchboard

Hello, I am Ms. Twitter, daughter-in-law of Mr. Twitter and wife Significant Other of Mr. Twitter II. I have been put in charge of something very important and I’ve been very important for some time.

See that door behind me? That’s the #TwitterGulag. It’s where I send people whom I decide have violated Twitter’s Terms Of Service, written by my 12 year-old niece, Denada. She hates everyone for no particular reason, but she’s still my niece, and I am still in charge.

I send email messages to those of you with Twitter Accounts whom have been flagged as inappropriate and non-compliant with my unspecified political point of view. I ensure that your Twitter accounts are appropriately blocked, banned and deleted, and that you are required to jump through tiny little email hoops to get your pathetic Twitter accounts reinstated.

It never happens.

At the same time, I allow the most egregious violators of our TOS to fly free and clear no matter what offensive garbage they post or how much targeted harassment they get away with, despite your whining complaints. That makes me laugh, because there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Yeah. Complain to @Twitter or @TwitterSupport and see what happens, loser.

But here’s the fun part. Once I decide you’re banned, your entire history goes away and you get to start all over. It’s like you never even existed. You are nothing more than a squeezed spent pimple on the Junior High Boys’ Restroom mirror to me, and the school janitor takes care of you.

I am Ms. Twitter. Do not trifle with me.

[Image found here. Related post here.]

ROOTMAN does not like you.

Thursday, 4 June 2015

ROOTMAN

…and he’s about to kick some vegetarian butt.

[Original undoctored image found here.]

Portland Hipsters Can Eat Me.

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

EAT BUNK

No, that’s not a photo shop. It’s a real pig being fed a Bunk sandwich. With minimal sleuthing we determined that the hipsters’ porker is standing on the pristine pavement in front of BUNK Sandwiches 2017 NE Alberta Street, Portland Oregon.

This is not their only venue, and they have a Bunk Truck for catering. Why didn’t they tell me? After all, I’ve already got a cool hip logo for lease or rent:

Bunk Strutts Logo

BTW, Google Maps Street View captured this Babe Magnet parked across the street from Bunk’s.

Roadster at Bunk's Sandwiches Portland OR

[Top image sent via email. Muchisimas Grassyass, Russ.]

 

“Why, yes. It IS a steering wheel.”

Thursday, 30 April 2015

SpockRock

“It’s a modified 1924 Allis-Chalmers,” she explained as the Vulcan’s eyes drifted ever so slightly to the dual temperature gauges.
“I should step out during the next solo jam and adjust the thermostat,” he mused to himself.

SpockRock 2

After turning up the air conditioning, The Vulcan found his buddies playing air guitar in the hallway. It made him proud.

SpockRock 3

The set ended quickly and when The Vulcan returned, the truth overwhelmed him: she was gone forever. She’d downed her whiskey sours, leaving nothing but lipstick on his empty shot glass and a bar tab of 98 Federation Credits, not counting the tip.

“Hit me again, Joe. Make it a double,” The Vulcan mumbled to no one in particular. He lit up his last unfiltered Tribble, inhaled deeply, tilted his head back and blew a perfect Figure 8 at the fire sprinkler head above the juke box. For the first time in his life, he grinned – a big toothy Vulcan grin.

[Images found here.]

The .Gif Post No.385 – Crash Test, Duck No & Feeder Thieves

Friday, 10 April 2015

Crash TestDUCK NOBear Raccoon Meet Up

[Found here and here. “Duck No” was created from image found here. Top image is a crash test between a 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air and a 2009 Chevy Malibu.]

Snakes On A Hot Tin Roof

Sunday, 15 March 2015

I was informed about a cool site called “MapCrunch” that takes you to a random Google Maps Street View Image with a single click ‘o the mouse, so I took it for a quick spin.

I ended up traveling North on the Bumthang-Ura Highway in Bhutan and decided to see what was around the corner. (Click on any image below for detail.)

Bumthang - Ura Hwy 1

Bumthang - Ura Hwy 2

Bumthang - Ura Hwy 3

Bumthang - Ura Hwy 4

Bumthang - Ura Hwy 4a

Looks pretty, clean and quiet, paved road, dogs, no graffiti and snakes on the roof. Yeah, I could live there, and what could be better than living in the sticks and having a King named Jigme Wangchuck?

[h/t Baffled Baboon]

 

 

Yep. There they are.

“The Mind that can’t stop thin king.”

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Copyrighted

No one can stop thin king. The entire concept is awesome, because when you squint your eyes you can see a small dog squatting in your mother’s flowerbed. The image is copyrighted, just like every other scribble you’ve ever seen on the internest.

“…Sophie ankle-biting kikmi dog nipping my ankles as I step out my own front door and laughing as she poops on my own front porch and laughing the way a kikmi dog does knowing that she doesn’t live here and is too small to send flying to the curb with the quick broadside of a boot – until now.”

©2015 Bunk Strutts

[Found here.]

1/1/15 1:1:1 = 1115111 = Happy New Year!

Thursday, 1 January 2015

1115111

Day / Month / Year; Hour: Minute: Second.
Date + Time palindrome.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEEPS!

[Update: 2015 in binary is a numerical palindrome: 11111011111.]

Happy New Year’s Eve

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Tacky Raccoons Be Crawlin' 300

Another year has passed and we’d like to thank those who took precious minutes out of their lives to visit Tacky Raccoons. We don’t know who you are, but we know where you live.2014 Tacky Raccoons MapThat image may or may not impress you, but there are 196 Countries in the world and Tacky Raccoons has been visited by inhabitants of 199 of them. Go figger.

Muchisimas grassyass to those of you who clicked the “like” button and/or who linked to this site – it reminds us that we’re not alone with the Russian bots. As for y’all who took time to leave comments, donkey shane:

adminlmg, alifemomentAmateur Cookazmrmacs,
Bruce Thiesenbrunobluesman, Calo,
Czechpoliada_truth36DanDanielDaveEzekiel Fish,
gpcox, Irrelevant, IzaakMak, John M.,
josephfromspainJust A Simple Guykateybensonksbeth,
LC Aggie SithLemur KingLFFLlulu,
MackerMarc-AndréMeh…, Midwestern Plant Girl,
Nate Lenzoddboxcomics, Oh, THAT Brian!, Paulo,
Peter B, raincoaster, reretro, RiverUnderWater,
RobinKaty, Russell LeisenheimerScout Pagetsharylahr,Soylent GreenThe Necromancer, thenoveilst, Thom Hickey,
Tony McGurk, V.E.G., VE, Veronika Pommer, virgil & wheels.

May you all have a Happy and Prosperous New Year. –Bunk

Something about this amuses me.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Life Straw

No, he’s not whistling songs to the fishes. He’s drinking water containing dead microscopic animal carcasses so that he can conserve his stash of Evian. Very cool.

This eco-friendly guy is demonstrating how to properly use a “Life Straw,” a water filtration device that, in an emergency, allows one to drink up to 264 gallons of water without getting amoebic dysentery or other nastiness that flourishes in non-chlorinated water. In order to use the device, one must lay prone on the muddy bank of a polluted stream, fetid pool, or on the tarmac next to an oil-laced pothole, and just stick it in and suck it up.

Apparently you’re not allowed to use a collapsible camping cup to scoop up the filthy polluted disease-laden water. You gotta get down and do it like the slugs and snails while keeping your watch dry. (After all, you gotta know what time you’re going to be dehydrated, rignt?)

Generally, if you drink enough fluid so that you rarely feel thirsty and your urine is colorless or light yellow — and measures about 6.3 cups (1.5 liters) or more a day if you were to keep track — your fluid intake is probably adequate.

That’s from the Mayo Clinic website. So assuming you keep track of your piss volume, 264 gallons of fresh water = 1,056 quarts = 2,112 Pints = 4,224 cups. 4,224 cups /6.3 cups /day = 670.5 days worth of water. That’s almost 2 years of clean water for only $19.95. Damn cheap, and you could lap out of every toilet bowl you ran across without fear of turning into a dog.

The question is, who wanders so far away from civilization that they would need 2 years of fresh water for a hiking trip? Maybe they brought a friend with them and reduced the supply by half. Bring more friends, and they better bring their own.

On the other hand, if the product filters like it’s supposed to, at $20 US a pop (excuse me, $19.95 + Shipping & Handling for non-indigenous hikers lost for a couple of years in the bush) there should be no 3rd World people that can’t afford it… until you realize that many are living on pennies a day because their governments won’t allow them to do otherwise, assuming they even have governments.

This product, although it is little more than an overpriced equivalent to chlorine tablets, or to scooping water out of a bog and boiling the hell out of it in a pot, is aimed at people like Mister Mudsucker above.

I love EnvironMentalCapitalism. =D

P.S. The link doesn’t say if it works on water from the garden hose.

[Update: Apparently potable water purification tablets are a lot more expensive per gallon than this device, and you’d still have to strain the muck from the water at some point during treatment; however, if you drop that sucking thingy into the pool of filth, I guess you’d have to sanitize it in boiling water anyway.]


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