Archive for the ‘A Bunk Original’ Category

Cross-Stitched Hot Links

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Cross Stitch RuPaul

Cross stitch + .gif animations + transvestites =  The RuPaul Cross Stitch Animation Workshop.

“We met over 4 Wednesday nights to learn cross stitch, view experimental animation, celebrate local drag, and discuss GIF culture.”

18 Owls [via].

Cookin’ With Aunt Ethel” as sung by Linda Hopkins is great and bizarre at the same time. Apparently it’s from a 1985 satirical play entitled “The Colored Museum.”

Google this and read it.

Congressional Record–Appendix, pp. A34-A35
January 10, 1963
Current Communist Goals
EXTENSION OF REMARKS OF HON. A. S. HERLONG, JR. OF FLORIDA
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Thursday, January 10, 1963

Posted verbatim sans commentary here.

The Tee-Tones are awesome.

Q: What happens if a fire breaks out where firearms ammunition is stored?
A: Not much [via].

Émile Cohl’s Fantasmagorie (1908) is regarded as the first cartoon animation [via].

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The .Gif Friday Post No. 318 – Friendly Cliffs, Chinese Tea House & Japanese Rain

Friday, 7 February 2014

Stereograph Cliffs
Chinese Tea House Newport Rhode Island
Chinese Rain Day
[1st & 3rd .gifs found here and here. The second is my own from this image, because I liked the screaming color morphiness of it all.]

Football

Sunday, 2 February 2014

Not sure how true this is, but it’s kinda true.
Roman Gladiators were the true ancestors of American Football. Brute force, team sport, with audience participation. Thumbs up or thumbs down from the fans could determine life or death of the defeated.

Roman Gladiators

Top: Flag On The Play – Personal foul, 10 yards.
Bottom: Offensive foul – Death By Maggots.

Football Skull

Once the Romans left Britain, the locals needed something to kick around. Some wags found a Roman skull, decided to kick it all the way to the next village. The folks at that village didn’t like it much, and kicked it back to the first. Association Football was born.

Pig bladder football 2

Kicking a skull up and down a dirt path is hard on the feet, so the Roman skull was supplanted by the obvious replacement – an inflated pig’s bladder.

soccer ball

Association Football was too hard to pronounce in normal conversation, so it was renamed Assoc. Football, and those who played it were Assoc.’ers – hence the name “soccer,” and it caught on, even though all of the world still called it Football. But it wasn’t good enough for some. The game had lost its Gladiator roots (except for the drunks fighting on the sidelines).

rugby-ball

Then one day in the early 1800s,  someone got fed up and wondered, “What’s the point of kicking a stinking inflated chunk of porcine offal back and forth?” and decided to pick up the ball and run it directly into the opposition, knocking out teeth, drawing blood and breaking bones in the process. The game of Rugby was born.

Football MudMan

Once Rugby was introduced into the States via Canada, America decided some changes had to be made. No more round scrum, the teams had to line up and hit head on in order to move the little leather covered ellipsoid mere yards at a time, and Woody Hayes was invented.

All of this requires physical protection, so the players wear helmets, shoulder pads and crotch protectors. They’re bred to be corn-fed behemoths of people capable of unprecedented brute force trained to bash each other’s heads into the ground. I love it.

Cheerleaders

Saturday Matinee – Portuguese Man O’ War, Bonanza, David Rose & The Beat Farmers

Saturday, 25 January 2014


[Vid found here.]

The Portuguese Man O’ War is amazing, as it’s not a single animal, but a colony of several bizarre organisms, all dependent on the others for survival. One provides transportation, one lures and traps food, one processes it, one cooks, and the other one does laundry and runs the blog.

The harmless gasbag idiot-animal floats while dangling his nasty stinging-tentacled buddies as deep as 160 feet below the surface. How they find each other and decide to hang together is a mystery to me, unless it has something to do with cheap beer, tasers and fraternity parties.

I saw one washed up on a beach when I was a kid without knowing what it was – thought it was an inflatable toy dolphin with seaweed attached. Yeah, I poked it with a stick, and yeah, I found out what the insides of a Portuguese Man O’ War smelled like, as did everyone else within a quarter mile downwind.

When the floating-gasbag idiot-animal washes up on shore and dies, it takes the other idiot-animals with him, and they can’t do anything about it because their free ride is over. Such is the life of a sycophant.

________________________

Okay, bear with me on this next one. Remember the classic 1959-1973 TV show “Bonanza?”  Here’s The instrumental TV theme (with opening credits).

The missus informed me that there were words to that great theme, and she’s right. The closing credits for the early episodes included “The Cartwrights” singing the theme (after apparently stumbling out of a saloon/cat house joint venture in Carson City) and mounting up to pick fights with and wreak havoc on the local populace before they rode back to their fortified enclave known as The Ponderosa:

[Little Joe] I’ve got a flair for women everywhere, Bonanza!
[Hoss] BONANZA! ¡AI-AI-AI!
[All] I’m gonna call on any gal at all, she’s gonna welcome me.

[Ben] I’m not afraid of any pretty maid, Bonanza!
BONANZA!
When I give a kiss to any pretty miss,
She’ll learn a lot from me!

[All] One for four, four for one
This we guarantee!

We got a right to pick a little fight – Bonanza!
BONANZA!
If anyone fights any one of us,
He’s gotta fight with me!

BTW, the best comment on that Utoobage link was posted by someone named 75yellowraven:

“144-441 what does that mean?”

The lyrics and acting were so laughably absurd that the clip was canned. Years later Lorne Greene sang the song with much different lyrics: Lorne Greene singing The Theme To Bonanza.

________________________

But that’s not the weird part. The Bonanza Theme was orchestrated by David Rose, same guy who composed “The Stripper,” a number of TV theme songs, and this horrible piece of 1960s grocery aisle music:

Bet you couldn’t last the whole two-point-five minutes of that, so here’s almost a whole hour of The Beat Farmers circa 1984, featuring the late Country Dick Montana on drums, vocals, beer and belligerence.

Hope that grabs on, holds and squeezes you for this edition of The Saturday Matinee. Have a great weekend, even if you have to mow the snow.

P.S. If you ever wanted to sing along to The Chips‘ “Rubber Biscuit” we’ve got the Complete & Accurate day down sum wanna jigga-wah lyrics here.

The .Gif Friday Post No. 314 – Tetherball, Color Queen & Inflatable Raft FAIL

Friday, 10 January 2014

tetherball
speed-queen-spectrum 2
Self Inflating Life Raft

[Found here and here. 2nd one is related to this one.]

Happy New Year’s Eve, Peeps!

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Tacky Raccoons Be Crawlin' 300

Another year has passed and we’d like to thank those who took precious minutes out of their lives to visit Tacky  Raccoons. We don’t know who you are, but we know where you live. You’re good peeps.

We’re never sure how much traffic we get is real or from Russian bots attempting to break the spam blockade to sell cheap knockoff handbags and embiggification pills. Muchisimas grassyass to those of you who clicked the “like” button and/or who linked to this site – it reminds us that we’re not alone with the Russian bots.

As for those who took time to leave comments, donkey shane:

Amy Oops, Arnie, Audrey, berdi726, bill126, breakroomstories, Brian, Bunkarina, Calo, charlottecarrendar, Cindy, clementinegoesusa, complicatedpov, Dale Weeks, Dana, Dan Johanson, da_truth36, Dorcas, Duane Helton, ed, Emma, Ezekiel Fish, Feng, fluffstravels, Fritz, Gabriel, George Weaver, GP, IzaakMak, Jacky Torres, Jane, Jason B. Ladd, JMKhapra, Joe, John M., josephfromspain, kdub, kirk, laurendarcybruce, LC Aggie Sith, Lindy Jordan, Macker, Malik, mopowerdon, My father too served in England in WW2, NoNamePlease, oddboxcomics, Opinionated Man, otterhavver, planetross, Richard Huggins, RiverUnderWater, Sad Man’s Tongue: Rockabilly Bar & Bistro – Prague, Scout Paget, smartygal, Soylent Green, studentmissalexis, susank456, theliteraryhorse, The Necromancer, The Watcher, thomasnwafor , Tiki Man, Tony McGurk, VE, wheels, Xraypics, yourothermotherhere and zachandclem.

Happy New Year, folks. Wish you the best. — Bunk

The .Gif Friday Post No. 311 – 16mm Christmas, Coordinated Company Jump, THE House & Stuff

Friday, 20 December 2013

Christmas Tree BW
A Company Christmas
Christmas Lights

Raccoon Christmas

[Found here, here, here and *ahem* here.]

It’s All In The Angle

Thursday, 19 December 2013

All About The Angle

I like the real one better because it looks like The Missus, only shorter. She got kinda humpy as I was re-adjusting the image, but the girl’s prolly got a face like a delaminated tire.

Unlike The Missus.

[Original image found here.]

The .Gif Friday Post No.310 – Big Chief Buffalo Nickel, Garbage In Garbage Out & Animated Banksy

Friday, 13 December 2013

Big Chief Buffalo Nickel
Garbage In Garbage Out
Animated Banksy 13

[2nd & 3rd found here and here. Top .gif is my own.]

8:9:10 11/12/13 – The 8th Second of The 9th Minute of The 10th Hour of The 11th Day of The 12th Month of The 13th Year of The Century

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

8 9 10 11 12 13 Date Time Convergence

Second : Minute : Hour; Day / Month / Year
Sequential time and date convergence, smallest to largest increments.

A similar sequence occurred at 8:09:10 on November 12 2013, but this one rocks. Unless I’m missing something, we’ll have no more great time/date convergences for a very long time.

Adding the numbers and dividing by 21 (the number of the current Century for those of you not keeping track) results in the Number 3, the minimum number of points to describe a circle, a plane and a non-collapsible polygon; the noblest of all digits according to Pythagoras and one of only 9 Heegner Numbers, the Atomic Number of Lithium (3rd in line after Hydrogen and Helium), the number of physical dimensions we’re able to sense,  and it’s also a crowd.

It all means something, I just don’t know what.


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