[Received via email from 1389AD. Click for larger images.]
Oh, man, this is a game I’d fight to get in on. I don’t care if it was manufactured and sold by Hasbro, Milton Bradley, Ohio Art or Whammo, the pure psychological strategy of this simple game is awesome.
First step is to show up to the party early. Then get the ante to a decent level, and once the pot is there, that’s when you talk about how you practiced with the set earlier. Of course you don’t remember which color you practiced with, as you start sniffling and hacking a bit. (Complaining about a slight fever helps.) Then start the game immediately, and without hesitation, hock up a loogie into the trash can.
Gentlemen’s rules say anyone who quits forfeits the pot. INSTANT WIN!
[Found here.]
No idea what he’s listening to in the park shelter, but that’s not the weird part. He’s got boxes of Cheez-It Scrabble.
[Found in here.]
That’s right, TR Fans.
Today is International Weigh Your Lemur Day, so get out your graph paper and tally sheets, line ‘em up and set ‘em down. If you use a digital scale be sure to cover it properly so that the inevitable little lemur leaks don’t damage the expensive electronics.
I can’t remember how many (supposedly) waterproof scales I’ve had to return over the years. It always ends in an argument with the salesperson, right up until I drop the bombshell:
“Look. This scale can’t even sustain a bladder full of lemur piss. I’ll show you. Wait here for a minute.”
Now, I don’t own a lemur, nor do I have a bladder of lemur piss to produce at a moment’s notice, but you’d be surprised at how fast you can get a damaged waterproof scale replaced with that simple browbeating argument.
Remember this but use it only when circumstances absolutely demand it, and you’re welcome.
[For the sake of anonymity, we've blunked out the eyes in a very amateurish fashion so you don't accuse us of photoshopoopage... and no, that's not me.]
Let’s compare these two photos.
The guy on the left is despondent, bummed out about everything in his miserable little life. Stuck with a wardrobe full of green and gray, the person who took the photo had such little respect for him that she deliberately offset the negative karma with her thumb.
Contrast that with the photo on the right.
The guy on the right is obviously very successful and satisfied with his lot in life, and enjoys it immensely. And he has an adult beverage camouflaged as coffee when it’s intuitively obvious to the casual observer that it’s a cup full o’ jack.
Why are we posting such an incredible story of success here? Because you too can become successful, and it’s also the start of the holiday season.
Click on either of the images above and they’ll take you to a CafePress store where you can purchase lots of wonderful things. We don’t make any money on the sales, but a percentage of the sales price goes directly to charity.
When you place your orders, tell Christopher Y. that Bunk sent you, and I bet you’ll get a discount.
If you don’t see what you want, lemme know in the comments and we’ll respond. If you need a custom design, we can do it with short notice.
And there was something else I was gonna say about being an amateur blogwhore, but I lost my train of thought…
[Update-- Czech out Amy's Store, too.]
Too much time at the telemarketing terminal today? Not enough time to catch all your favorite programs even though they’re all properly TIVO’d?
Do we have the product for you. SleepNoMore™ is guaranteed to keep you alert and focused until sleep deprivation fatigue sets in… which brings us to an added bonus — no more washing bed sheets.
It’s yet another great innovation from the great minds at Professional Appliances, Inc., a division of Opposable Thumbs Corporation. Not available in stores.
[Found here.]
Seems to me that it would’ve been cheaper to order a hamburger with a couple of toasted extra buns, but that involves a lot of planning and logistics, not to mention the aggravation of travel time.
I’d have sent it back because the beef is not on the left half side, just to see how the pizzaman resolved the problem without using Elmer’s. Of course, if I did that, pizzaman would block my phone number. Not worth it.
[Found here.]
[Image from here.]
Right Click For The Tacky Map!
We’re all Fuldkommen Gak now.
