(West Poondongwalla, Australia) – Strutts News Services
Only the wealthiest of the wealthy were able to keep their lights on when the entire power grid of Australia failed just days ago, and no one knows why the continent now glows blue. Some locals blame global warming, while others point accusatory fingers at The Mayans for their probably prophetic Calendar of Doom that caused the utility companies of Oz to hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete simultaneously and just for the hell of it.
In any case, the well-to-do panicked wisely and moved inland to avoid the rising seas that subsequently swamped the coastal regions.
Archive for the ‘News Not’ Category
“Gramma, I know that you and Grampa escaped the old country without shoes, but capitalism is evil, so I made you a lamp to show you how wrong you were to leave.” –Overheard at Zuccotti Park September 2012.
[Image found here. Quote was entirely fabricated only because #OWS is entirely fabricated.]
Running a “Hey Lookit This” blog is fun. One of the things that amuses me is trying to figure out what’s hot and what’s not, and occasionally I look at the search engine terms that brought people to Tacky Raccoons in the first place. I might as well share the fun.
In the past year, we got a lot of hits for .gif animations. That’s unsurprising because over time we’ve collected a nice archive. Here are the top ten search engine terms April 2011 – April 2012:
- Capybara (23K+ hits)
- Dancing gif (21K+)
- Possum (13K+)
- 10 (9.5K)
- 11 (3K)
- Animation Fist Pump (3K)
- Science Fair Projects (2K)
- Motivational Poster (2K)
- Babe (2K)
- Woolly Bear Caterpillar (2K)
There are variations to each category, like plurals, additional words, misspellings, etc., so the number of hits are approximate – but those are by far the most popular, with thousands of hits each. Why so many people search for the numbers 10 and 11, and not other numbers is a binary mystery to me.
The rest is a hodgepodge of pure eclectic bizarreness. These are headscratchers, in order of rank:
Meatloaf, Stairs, Chainsaw Bear, Raccoons Killing Cats, Oops, Donut Queen, Slugman, Dwarf Porn, Male Anorexia, Camel Planking, Bunny Poop, Bitch, Mickey Mouse Pants, Amputee Porn, Velcro Microscope, Bubble Butt Animated Gifs, Harold Hamgravy, Body Paint Ass, Aunt Bethany and Nose Harp.
Exactly 60 people came to this website by searching for:
these little beasties are street legal. they run on either kawasaki or honda motorcycle engines and co-opt vintage bumper car bodies into the most awesome form of mini-car we’ve seen in too long. there are seven of these little monsters floating around california, and they’re all the creation of one man, tom wright
[Screencap of TR traffic from here.]
Ted Nugent, a Michigan-born conservative who has endorsed Obama’s presumed Republican challenger in the November elections, Mitt Romney, drew Secret Service attention with his blunt remarks about Obama and administration officials at the NRA event.
“We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November,” Nugent said at the convention.
U.S. Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz, chairwoman of the Democratic National Convention, responded earlier this week, saying “threatening violence – or whatever it is that Nugent’s threatening – is clearly beyond the pale.” [via]
In response to Wasserman-Schultz, Nugent was typically blunt and to the point.
“Now what you gotta do, I’ll tell you what you gotta do You got to pretend your face is a Maserati It’s a Maserati It’s a Maserati It’s a gettin’ hotty It’s a Maserati, Maserati, Maserati It’s a fast one too man, that thing’s turbocharged You feel like a little fuel injection honey? I’ll tell ya about it, I’ll tell you about it I gotta get that hood scoop off, shine and shine and buff I’ll check out the hood scoop I gotta buff it up, buff it up, buff it up, buff it up, buff it up, Yeah, shiny now baby, heh heh heh You’ve been drivin’ all night long It’s time to put the old Maserati away.”
[Update: Photo in the screen cap was misidentified.
It is not Ted Nugent, it is Sammy Hagar. – Bunk.]