Archive for the ‘True Stories’ Category
Hi, Pat. I see that your love for Coca-Cola is still alive and well. Why do you love it so much?
Pat Reidy: Well, firstly, I really like the flavor, but I also think that it represents one of the best publicity campaigns that there’s ever been in the world. It’s international, it’s intelligent, and uses everything to promote its brand. People see a T-shirt, a toy, a poster or whatever, and want to drink a Coke. Coca-Cola invented Santa Claus, and that says everything.
Yes, please. Tell me about the steps I need to follow in order to be a professional Coca-Cola drinker.
You should always drink it really cold; always from a glass bottle, or maybe from a can, but never, ever from a plastic bottle. The best Coke is the one that comes from the tiny glass bottle. I always buy the 355-milliliter glass bottle, though.
How many Cokes do you drink a day?
I don’t drink it much nowadays. I drink one 355-milliliter bottle a day and I really enjoy it—you have no idea. Unless there’s a party or a special occasion; then I drink more. But that’s what I do now, because for years, when I had to teach 12 hours a day, drinking Coke was my salvation. I used to drink 15 355-milliliter bottles a day.
Was it ever bad for your health?
Never. Back then there was no water. There was no purified water and they didn’t sell water gallons to keep at home. So between drinking boiled water or Coke, well, there is no contest, really. I also cook with Coca-Cola.
What do you cook with Coke?
You can cook many things with Coca-Cola. I even have recipe books. My specialty is a hamburger that I make with my secret recipe. I fry it on my grandmother’s pan—which is huge—with Coca-Cola instead of oil, a bit of English sauce, pepper, garlic salt, and onions. It’s wonderful. I call it Pat’s hamburger. I also use it in soups. I love it.
I was born in the North, lived in the South, have ancestry in both, and this fabricated hoopla over the Rebel Flag is completely inane and without warrant. It’s a symbol of regional pride and self-sufficiency. To reinterpret the Rebel Flag as something other than that is absurd, and it IS fabricated hoopla.
The War of Secession ended, the Union was preserved, slavery was abolished by The 14th Amendment, and all at a great cost in lives and expense a century and a half ago. It was a brewing war of economic inequity and the Southern States decided they’d had just about enough of it. Then someone popped some warning lead across the bow of a ship heading to Fort Sumter.
Here’s a mind game. Since the majority of the Southern population was dirt-poor in the 1800s (few could afford a mule, let alone a slave) what would have happened had they turned to subsistence farming for a few years and stopped cotton and tobacco produce from moving to the industrial North who weren’t sharing the profits and benefits? The Union would have invaded the South to quell the protest.
What if the North had merely coughed up some bucks to reimburse slave owners to free their slaves from bondage? Much unnecessary death and destruction could have been avoided.
Of course it didn’t turn out that way, hindsight and all, but to condemn a symbol of pride to augment a specious left-wing political agenda (i.e., dividing the Nation once again) is abhorrent in my opinion.
If we don’t stop this nonsense soon, eventually we’re gonna have to ban Elvis, Duane Eddy, Billy Idol, all of CSN&Y, and most of the Democrat Party including Hillary (unless she can crank out her version of “Wedding Bell Blues.”)
[Image found here.]
Hello, I am Ms. Twitter, daughter-in-law of Mr. Twitter and
wife Significant Other of Mr. Twitter II. I have been put in charge of something very important and I’ve been very important for some time.
See that door behind me? That’s the #TwitterGulag. It’s where I send people whom I decide have violated Twitter’s Terms Of Service, written by my 12 year-old niece, Denada. She hates everyone for no particular reason, but she’s still my niece, and I am still in charge.
I send email messages to those of you with Twitter Accounts whom have been flagged as inappropriate and non-compliant with my unspecified political point of view. I ensure that your Twitter accounts are appropriately blocked, banned and deleted, and that you are required to jump through tiny little email hoops to get your pathetic Twitter accounts reinstated.
It never happens.
At the same time, I allow the most egregious violators of our TOS to fly free and clear no matter what offensive garbage they post or how much targeted harassment they get away with, despite your whining complaints. That makes me laugh, because there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Yeah. Complain to @Twitter or @TwitterSupport and see what happens, loser.
But here’s the fun part. Once I decide you’re banned, your entire history goes away and you get to start all over. It’s like you never even existed. You are nothing more than a squeezed spent pimple on the Junior High Boys’ Restroom mirror to me, and the school janitor takes care of you.
I am Ms. Twitter. Do not trifle with me.
BTW. nature doesn’t run on mathematics, and the typical example of a nautilus shell exhibiting the proportions of Phi has been debunked. It’s still a fun exercise, counting the seeds in a sunflower’s (or pine cone’s) spirals and dividing the larger number by the smaller to see how close it approximates Phi.
Oddly enough, if you multiply Phi by ten it gives you the approximate average miles per hour on Interstate 10 between Santa Monica and Los Angeles in either direction at any hour of the day and any day of the week. TRUE.