Archive for the ‘True Stories’ Category

The .Gif Friday Post No. 424 – Hillary, Bernie, Donald & Ted and Obama

Friday, 12 February 2016

Hillary I DunnoBernie HeadTrump FaceCruz vs. Grampa Munster

Don’t read too much into this as I’m just messing around with JASC for the helluvit. Meanwhile a little birdy from Los Angeles sent me the following:

So it’s 2:15.  The Obama street closures are about to begin, and the airport traffic is expected to be a mess. Should I take the 10 East to the 710 south?

HELL NO. The manic motorhead doesn’t do tens. He does elevens.  I’m gonna drive it right down the fetid bloody gaping maw of the 405 South like a boss.

Ignoring the voice of the Waze app bitch, I jam down Centinela past National, past the 90, past Jefferson. I break into the 405 from Howard Hughes Parkway and head for LAX, to face almost certain death.

“Seems the flow is more sluggish than usual,” I thought, “but it’s moving.” Then suddenly I see brake lights that stretch from here to San Ysidro. That’s when I make my move. Time for Exit 46.

TO IMPERIAL HIGHWAY – AND BEYOND!  *wooooosh*

Everything is going as planned. A mile down the road I jump the unsuspecting 105 East, run the Crenshaw exit lane to the end and merge like a pro. The Gods are surely smiling as I peel off to the Harbor Freeway South, but the patterns aren’t right… something is amiss.  Better exit 190th Street for good luck.

Sure enough, the 110 is at a standstill at the 405 interchange. My catlike instincts pay off again as I kick it down Figueroa to the next on ramp and hit it down the Weigh Station Only lane (merge) down the Avalon Boulevard exit only lane (merge) and then suffer a half-mile of stupid until I can veer into the Wilmington on ramp lane. From there it’s a cool breeze. Snaking on and off the 405 exits and entries, I bypass miles of suffering fools moving at 15 mph all the way to Long Beach. To them, I’m an unidentifiable blur of 99/100% pure awesome.

My journey takes less than 90 minutes. Not bad, considering the brutal and bloody odds stacked against me. Now it’s Miller Time, and I tip one to the poor bastards who don’t know the method of the madness. I pity them. I really do.

Inline image

NASA 1965

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Gemini SpacecraftAstronauts James McDivitt and Ed White inside the Gemini spacecraft for a simulated launch at Cape Canaveral, Florida, 1965

[Image and caption found here.] More about Ed White here.

There’s Something About Bernie

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Bernie Logo

This amused me; it disturbed me also:

PJ Media founder Roger Simon interviews Bernie Sanders supporters.

[Top image from here.]

 

 

Alfred Hitchcock’s Storyboards

Sunday, 31 January 2016

Storyboards are planning tools, cartoon sketches that depict critical or pertinent scenes in animation, movies (and even amusement park rides). It’s an easy editing process for something that has yet to be filmed, but you already knew that, ya? Have you seen any? Check out these thumbnails.

Jamaica Inn 1936
Jamaica Inn 1936.

Saboteur 1942

Saboteur 1942 2
Saboteur 1942.

Vertigo 1958
Vertigo 1958.

The Birds 1963
The Birds 1963.

Marnie 1964
Marnie 1964.

Family Plot 1976
Family Plot 1976.

Alfred Hitchcock used storyboards for all his movies, and there’s a nice collection here [via].

Gastrointestinal Hot Links

Sunday, 24 January 2016

Haggis

Blogger Gains Internet Following by Smashing Her Face into Bread Products.

Breakfast in Bahrain.

Lunch in Your Kitchen.

Dinner in Alaska.

Late Night Snacks in Bataan.

Bunk’s Secret Chili Recipe.

Pizza Pie.

Oh, and if you were wondering, that’s a Haggis. Only Scots eat them, and it explains and justifies the honorable tradition of wearing kilts.

KACKA

Tuesday, 19 January 2016

KACKA

Тренированные в лагерях НАТО боевики с новейшим американским оружием. Киев, Украина.

“Trained in camps NATO fighters with the latest American weapons. Kiev, Ukraine.”

[Image and caption found somewhere in here:
http://ytug.kiev.ua/decaying_europe.htm/3/
It appears to be a Russian propaganda/snark website, but that caption is amusing. You might want to run it through Google Translate instead.]

Varmints

Monday, 18 January 2016

Our neighborhood has had gopher problems ever since the city quit treating the underground metropolis in the park 100 feet from our property, so we hired an extermination company at our own expense. They put bait in the tunnels, and they gas them.

When poison and gas doesn’t work, they taunt them mercilessly all the way back to the park. Now they take pictures of their taunting, and email the photos to prove it.

moxieroutes-document-204707

True story, and I noticed that the photo was deleted from their customer link entitled “How Did We Do?”

Arcul de Triumf Bucharest

Monday, 18 January 2016

Bucharest-monument

In response to this post, fellow blogger wheels sent me the photo above with this caption:

Reminds me of what I saw on a trip to eastern Europe (Romania, Hungary, and Bulgaria). When they put up scaffolding around a monument or building for repair work, they put up screening fabric printed with an image of what it looks like.

That’s the Arcul de Triumf, a monument dedicated to the veterans of Romania’s War of Independence against the oppression of the Ottoman Empire (and later for Romania’s role in WWI). This is its 3rd incarnation: the 1st was wooden, erected in 1878. It was replaced with another in 1922, then that one was demolished and rebuilt in 1936. So what’s behind the curtain? This:

Arcul de Triumf Bucharest December 2015

Apparently, that poor guy in the red car has been trapped in the roundabout since December 2015.

Here’s what it’s supposed to look like:

Arcul de Triumf Bucharest

Signature Service Hot Links

Sunday, 17 January 2016

Gas Can Guitar Boy

Why A Pair of Pants?

“Pants” is an abbreviation for “Pantaloons,” originally a two-piece garment, with one sleeve for each leg, both tied around the waist. The codpiece was a polite, yet not-so-polite, appurtenance. Pantaloons (with or without codpieces) were a hit in France in the late 1600s. What a surprise.

The word “pantaloons” comes from the French pantalon, derived from Italian pantalone, named after San Pantalone, aka Saint Pantaleone, aka Saint Panteleímon.

St. PantaleoneThat guy was pretty cool. He practiced medicine until he became a Faith Healer and was accused of witchcraft in 305AD. He survived being set on fire with torches, being dipped in molten lead, tied to a rock and thrown into the sea, fed to wild animals, torn apart on the rack, and a beheading. He freed a bunch of slaves, too. Once he agreed that beheading was usually lethal, he was beheaded a second time and he died.

The origin of the taunt “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” is related.

Straatsen in the Netherlands [via].

Hexaflexigon burrito. Do it. Eat it.

Some of these DIY illusions are cool.

RHNB = Red Hot Nickel Ball. Nice video collection by a guy who knows what to do with one.

El Niño – He’s a-comin’ ta gitcha, and Google Maps has you covered.

We’ve all seen ’em. They’re called dickheads.

Don’t do this [via].

Do this instead. [Top image screen-capped from that video and doctored a tad.]

The Church of the Half Pipe

Monday, 21 December 2015

Church of the Half Pipe 2

Church of the Half Pipe

Spanish artist Okuda San Miguel (aka Okudart) collaborated with La Iglesia Skate and Red Bull to transform the decrepit interior of the old, abandoned Santa Barbara church in Llanera, Asturias into an awesome skatepark called the Kaos Temple.

[Caption found here. Other images and more to the story found here.]


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 882 other followers

%d bloggers like this: