Pisgah, Ohio (Strutts News Services) – Anyone who has tried to raise big dogs in the city understands the difficulties involved. One authority, Ms. Tooncie Crumbler, has beat the odds and raised several healthy crops of Retrievers Golden outside her flat in downtown Pisgah.
“Assuming you start with good stock, all it takes are a few clippings, good soil, and bone meal mulch to get ‘em to take root and prosper,” said Ms. Crumbler, 78. “Then you have to keep them watered. They do better in the shade, otherwise they tend to wither, and you have to crop ‘em back occasionally.”
When asked about the sprouts observed outside of the planters, Ms. Crumbler initially denied their existence, but admitted that she was embarrassed for not having weeded the strays as often as she’d like.
“Once I get me some more planters, I’ll dig ‘em up and pot ‘em. Until then, they’re just weeds to me.”
Hambone is the traditional folk music consisting of rhythms produced by slapping oneself and making noises without singing. It traces its history to the pre-civil war South, and was probably introduced by west african slaves. Regardless of your musical tastes, Hambone is harder than it looks. Try it yousef and you’ll see.
The Hambone Brothers showed up occasionally on the long running TV show, “HeeHaw.” The guy on the left was cool, but the guy on the right always creeped me out.
Jeff Holt does Hambone with the always amazing Doc Watson.
Holt and Watson doing “Soldier’s Joy” and “Ragtime Annie.”
Sonny Terry & Brownie McGhee, with Pete Seeger on banjo. Terry’s breath control and “whoopin’” on harmonica was directly related to Hambone, if you didn’t notice. (Unless I’m mistaken, Sonny and Brownie also had a small cameo on the first Blues Brothers movie.)
And finally, a public service announcement from Plaxico Burress.
“Koko the gorilla is famous for mastering more than 1,000 signs based on American Sign Language, which she uses to communicate with Stanford researchers.
“That’s not all she’s learned from humans. One day her attendants discovered that a steel sink in her enclosure had been torn from its moorings. When they confronted her, she pointed to her pet kitten.
“‘Cat did it’, she signed.”
Strutts News Services was granted an exclusive interview with Koko, and asked the following questions, in ASL:
SNS: ?Koko like vote who Koko: ?koko like SNS:?Koko like who vote Koko: koko. koko. koko. SNS: ?Vote Koko Koko: congress vote koko. SNS: Fat chance, koko. Koko: Bite me elect koko 2 elect koko 56 vote koko 12330o-84jmsvpow Koko last word heh loser
Proof that the news media is biased. Forget the pier! I wanna know more about the bear!
[From SPLHCS.]
“Stupid dopey trash-rap a-comin’, comin’ up. Whoa.
Guy in a bear suit, with rappin’ comin’ up. Whoa.
Patient wit da video, be patient comin’ up. Whoa.
Babe Magnet, bear suit, all be comin’ up. Whoa.”
[Lyrics from "In' Up-Whoa" by MC Daddy BS, Strutts Music 2008.]
Actually SoulJah Bear is kinda funny to me, especially with the video editor’s comments. Kinda almost cool, just like The Howlies. Here’s SoulJah Bear’s obvious inspiration:
Bunky remembers Dancing Bear in black and white. Bunky really liked Captain Kangaroo. Bunky really didn’t like Scary Dancing Bear.
“Pachuca Sunrise,” Minus the Bear.
Daughter Bunkessa heard this song as “I Come From a Land of Hunger.” It’s got a bear in it, too.
Here’s Bob and Ray. Google them for more classic straight faced funnies.
The Bobs’ A capellaness is only mildly annoying and somewhat entertaining.
The Rays, with “Silhouettes on the Shade.”
The Silhouettes’ “Get A [lipsinch] Job.”
The Late Great Ray Charles: “Shake A Tail Feather!” from the movie “The Blues Brothers.” (Watch for Steve Cropper & Duck Dunn, with Matt “Guitar” Murphy.)
[Related posts: Cropper & Dunn be here and here. More Blues Brothers here.]
