Posts Tagged ‘Canada’

Canada Considers Fence On Southern Border To Stem Wave Of Illegal Immigration

Sunday, 23 November 2014

CAUTION

Mexico allows Central and South American immigrants to pass through her borders on 72 hour visas, and most of those people are headed for the porous southern border of the US. As these illegal immigrants pour in, local pressure builds, and now there’s another movement happening at the US – Canadian Border. Canadians don’t like it.

US Canada Border Fence

Here’s the full transcript from The Manitoba Herald 1 December 2010:

Border Fence Proposed
by Clive Runnels
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold,exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn’t give any milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves. “A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.” When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, “We’re going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out,” he said.

The US and Canada are not the only countries experiencing an influx of illegal immigrants crossing their southern borders. Check out this image from Vladikavkaz, Russia:

illegal-immigrants-in-russia

If the Theory of Global Worming is true, there’s going to be a massive influx of people from all regions south of the Arctic Circle, judging from the current migration patterns.

Sure, Canada has Molson’s and poutine, but I’m gonna stay put and watch the parade. By the way, The Manitoba Herald folded in 1877, there is no such person named Clive Runnels, and I am not the author of the quoted satirical article. Go figger.

[Source]

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Scientific Hot Links

Sunday, 17 February 2013

You Got Snakes

Sexy People.

The Party Of The Wealthy.

Canada’s House of Common addresses a potential threat to civilization [via].

This song was a hit on pop radio in the early 1960s, and it’s enough to make you wanna puke. [Wiki: The song was composed by Ghanaian musician Guy Warren in 1956 under the original title “An African’s Prayer (Eyi Wala Dong)”.]

The New Dimensions in Testimony program is pretty awesome. More here.

“‘I now have work for 20 years,’ he exclaimed joyfully.” Disturbing true story here.

Classic list of everything blamed on Anthropogenic Global Warming Climate Change: The Warmlist.

ICYMI Department: The Institute for Centrifugal Reasearch: Gravity Is A Mistake. Must see video [via].

Searching for Twitter followers with the promise of absolutely no content, no following and no retweets.

Top image found here, caption inspired by this:

Real Canadian Original Swedish Fish

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Oh, yeah. It’s Canadian. It’s Swedish. It’s Fish. Right.

What we’ve got here is 538.6 grams of sticky pogie bait gummiecrap being advertised and sold as Original Swedish Fish (as opposed to the ubiquitous knock-offs). You Canucks ought to be ashamed, regardless of the Olympics, so don’t try to pawn this one off on the Greeks. Where do you get off mocking the Swedes?

[Found in Bunk's kitchen.]

Oh. Canada.

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Didn’t you immediately think of the Olympics?  So did I.
Just steer clear of him when the sap is running.

[Found here.]


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