Posts Tagged ‘House’

Miss Mary Eileen, My Second Favorite Babysitter

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

This is a true story.

Several times in my childhood my parents abandoned me, but they always left me with a baby sitter, a complete stranger who they paid, just to keep her honest. My favorite babysitter was Veronica. She wore velour sweaters and had a faint little mustache. I had a kindergarten-age crush on her because she was nice.

My second favorite babysitter was Miss Mary Eileen. Now SHE was a freakin’ hoot.

That’s Miss Mary Eileen on the left with her cousin Miss Bevel.

They both lived in a house that was walking distance from mine.

Miss Mary was my favorite. She was a lot of fun. Let us climb on the furniture and stuff. She liked rock n’ roll, too, and brought over 45s of songs my parents wouldn’t allow me to listen to.

Later on, Miss Eileen married a handyman named “Lefty.”  I don’t recall his real name, and they moved into a townhouse up the hill.

Mary and her husband opened up a successful restaurant/bar that was very popular, especially with the left-leaning bohemian crowd.

She and her husband raised four sons (youngest 10, eldest 20 in this pic from 1998).

Here’s her youngest son Bobby (nicknamed “Wilt the Tilt” by his classmates) in his senior year in High School, in front of his grandfather’s house.

Eventually Mary and her husband retired to this comfy little cottage in the same neighborhood she grew up in, and they lived happily ever after.

THE END.

[Images from here, here, here, here, here and here.]

The .Gif Friday Post No.156 – SoccerButtDance, CatCardHouse & MufflerMouse

Friday, 17 December 2010

[Found here, here and here.]

Swiss Army Crapper

Sunday, 1 August 2010

“Honey, it locked up again and I’ve gotta go, real bad.”

There’s something about designers who insist on taking a concept that works and trying to fix it. Just because it’s different, doesn’t necessarily make it better, and this is a great example.

Yeah, it looks cool, and it takes up less space than a regular bathroom with a toilet and a shower, but look closer at what it takes away.

  • The floor and all walls of the room need to be waterproofed, and it has to have a floor drain.
  • All electrical fixtures, switches and outlets need to be waterproof, too.
  • The floor is always cold. And wet.
  • Forget mildew problems. Now you have water deposits to clean.
  • To clean it, you need a ladder… and machine oil.
  • No grooming mirror in front of the lavatory so you might as well do it in a dark closet.
  • The toilet seat will always be wet. No furry seat cover cozies for you!
  • Forget about a toilet paper dispenser. You better remember to fish it out of the linen cabinet every time.
  • Women have no countertop space to display all 31 beauty enhancement products and accouterments.
  • Men have no place to set their beer while they pee into the floor drain.

Now, if it had a single button that springs everything into a usable configuration, that might be cool, except when the power goes out. In other words, it’s another great example of pure efficient genius.

[Found here, crossposted here, with a Tip o' the Tarboosh to Snork.]

Casa de Coprolite

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

It’s a house. It’s a very ugly house. It’s a very ugly house created for a competition by people who have no concept of aesthetics, let alone standard construction practices. Here’s a partial description justifying the brilliance of the design:

DISTRIBUTED INTELLIGENCE
Faced with the typical house model of a “box construction” made up of standard industrialized components, we chose to build a clever house with systemic logic components, rising into what we call a distributed intelligence. This means that each component of the prototype contains the same level of technology, energy, structural, etc… With this we say that the logic of all is found in each of the parts, and not vice versa.

That is, distributed intelligence can be understood as the development in fusion research systems and materials, implying a change of procedures, multi functionality in the construction field. Opening the possiblities of digital parametric design from the traditional assembly of standardized industrial components of the home-computer.

In other words, they’ve not only designed one of the ugliest dwellings ever imagined, they’ve invented a brand new lexicon to justify it. Archibabble at its worst. Phew.

To be fair, the design is clever in one respect, that the shape was generated based upon solar tracking, that is, a computer model engineered a shape that maximizes the amount of surface area that receives direct sunlight throughout the day and throughout the year, thus determining the configuration of the solar panels. Win.

Unfortunately, the maximum efficiency is compromised by site orientation, its global latitude, and, um, unpredictable cloud cover. And it’s ugly. Fail.

[More info and images here via here.]

A Hurling Player Lives Here.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Don’t know the ancient Irish game? It’s a brutal combination of football, soccer, rugby, field hockey, baseball, jai alai and golf, traditionally played without pads or helmets and the best players have facial scars and are usually missing teeth. Since 1 January 2010 helmets are required at all levels. Spoilsports.

The goal is to get the silotar (a hardball about the size of a cue ball) over or under the goalposts with a hurley (an oversized wooden spoon) by throwing it, tossing it up and batting it, carrying it on the hurley while running, or driving it down the pitch with an underhand smack.

A team gets one point for getting it over and through the uprights, and three points if it gets it past the goal keeper into the net underneath the goal posts.

If you ever get a chance to see a hurling match, you’re in for some fun, and you HAVE to watch the game or you risk serious injury from speeding silotars and sharp flying broken hurleys. Tip your ale only between plays.

[Top image found here. More info on Hurley here.]

Babe Magnet Guest House

Monday, 28 December 2009

Although it’s missing a community pool and spa with a game room, this looks pretty nice for my future retirement home. Except for inclement weather, you’ll likely find me sunning on the back porch, with a laptop and a cooler, waving to passersby, before the local constabulary asks me to move.

[Found in here.]

“So I told the genii…”

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

“… I said, ‘Genii, for my second wish, please return my manhood to its previous size. Now for my third wish, I want a small house in a beautiful valley, with a fireplace, running water, an unlimited supply of cold beer, and with fishing nearby.’
God I hate geniis.

The Dam House_unpalombaro 090721

[Crossposted here. Image from here.]

I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

Thursday, 23 April 2009

dont-do-it_copula-090419

I mean it.

[Found here.]

Turtlehead

Monday, 2 March 2009

turtlehead-house

“Honey, I just thought of a great home improvement project.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. We need a giant turtle head.”
“Hmmm. I don’t know… I don’t think we can afford it right now.”
“What if I install working clocks instead of eyes?”
“Oh yeah…  Ohhh yeaaah… c’mere, you… mmmm…”

[Image from here.]

House of Rock

Monday, 1 December 2008

rock-the-house

Nas montanhas de Fafe, Portugal.

No Flintstone jokes please.  Okay. Gimme Flinstone jokes anyway.

[Image via Uncertain Times.]


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