Don’t do this. Really. Don’t.

by

Occasionally while sniffing around the internest I’ll run across an image that jumps up and bites me right in the crackerbockles, and this is one of them. It’s a patent drawing for an invention technically referred to as a WTF, and is apparently designed with meth addicts in mind. That’s meth as in methane.

Of course there may be other explanations for this new addition to the wonderful world of plumbing abuse, but I’m not about to go all scatological here.

[Found somewhere in here, crossposted here.]

[Update 29 July 2010 – Here are the patent  papers. Tip o’ the Tarboosh to Lemur King.]

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13 Responses to “Don’t do this. Really. Don’t.”

  1. Leeuna Says:

    Well…just…eeewww! What IS he doing???

  2. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Leeuna– Well, he’s not blowing bubbles…

  3. Lemur King Says:

    Yeah. Found that a while back – a snorkel for “fresh air” in case your apartment is on fire.

    Think about that.

    Rather than get fresh air outside, one must be willing to breathe air only marginally better than life-threatening smoke so one can consciously live long enough to experience being burned alive.

    Yeah, that’s got my vote.

  4. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Lemur– Holy seersucker suit, Batman! I thought you were making that up!

    Check out the patent here.

  5. Lemur King Says:

    I would not lie to the one who posted a picture of a baby-seal pinata.

    At least not in the same week.

  6. Lemur King Says:

    Me personally? I’d rather die of smoke inhalation than fire itself.

    Trust me, I did forest fires. Go the smoke route every time if you aren’t given the option to run like hell.

  7. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Lemur– Everyone dies of asphyxiation.

    I knew a guy who stayed behind to protect his house during the Fallbrook fire in SoCal a few years ago. His wife had already left, and he was hosing down everything in sight while soaking a kerchief in the swimming pool to breath through. By the time he figured he had to get out, the oxygen level was so low his car wouldn’t start. Fortunately the fire fighters (wearing O2 tanks) were at the end of his long driveway, helped him get his car started, told him not to let his foot off the gas for 5 miles.

    His wife beat the crap out of him later.

  8. Lemur King Says:

    I beg to differ – it would be nice if everyone died of asphyxiation rather than burns if those two awful choices present.

    But a fire can easily burn over your position and get you through flames. If you think about it, how would shake-n-bake shelters ever work otherwise?

    Grass fires are a good example, too.

  9. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Lemur– Beg and differ all you want. Everyone who’s ever passed on did it by not breathing, including those who used to be listed as having succumbed to old age or natural causes. Got your point otherwise. I’d rather discuss infants who have the propensity and innate talent to make it into the Marines elite squads later in life. Don’t club baby SEALS.

  10. Lemur King Says:

    Not breathing… damn, you’re right. Why did I not think about that?

    That kind of absolute logic always makes me think of Ed Norton in Fight Club, where he talks about lifespan dropping to zero if you extend the time line out far enough.

    I imagine clubbing baby SEALS would be the last mistake one could ever make. Yikes. Death by flipper or binky, it’s not going to be pretty.

  11. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Lemur– Ed Norton was in Fight Club? I thought he was in The Honeymooners. Live and learn. Oh, and regarding clubbing baby seals, I was alerted to this.

  12. Lemur King Says:

    Oh yer messin’ w/ my head now… just in case you didn’t know, and you weren’t messing with my head: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001570/

    Nah. You were playing with my head like a drunk kitten.

    That seal clubbing thing – those poor seals. To exploit them so. Pity.

  13. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Lemur– I don’t mess around. Ed Norton was great.

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