Boy, 10, Brought Home by Mothership

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Basil Mills, Nebraska – (Strutts News Services)

While 10-year-old Donny Plunck played the time-tested game of “See-How-Far-You-Can-Throw-A-Rock,” trouble was brewing. Unaware that he’d been tracked down by a larger and more intelligent force, he suddenly found himself airborne, and was transported back to his home over a mile away, by his left wrist.

Donny recalled the ordeal vividly. “It was a frightening eerie silence, all the way home, except for the wind.”

He was levitated all the way to his bedroom door when he heard a booming voice from above: “I TOLD you to clean your room! Now DO IT before your FATHERSHIP comes home!”

Donny was not harmed in any way, and his room was spotless by 5:23PM.

Photo via Neatorama. Sort of.

ZIGGY DEAD AT 36

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Ft. Lauderdale, FL – (Strutts News Services)
Beloved cartoon character “Ziggy” succumbed to a heat stroke on Thursday, when record temperatures caused an overload in the local power grid, shutting down the air conditioning in Mr. Z’s beach front condo. He was found unconscious and unresponsive by Lt. Commander Lannie Foosers of the Ft. Lauderdale Health and Rescue Division, and was pronounced dead on arrival at Holy Cross Hospital.

“Ziggy was a good guy, a guy you could trust,” sobbed neighbor and close friend, Ms. Janessa Vapors. “He wouldn’t not do nothin’ to not harm a flea, and now he’s gone. He’d trip over my sprinkler hose and get soaked at least once a week.”

“He always looked kinda waxy,” commented Mr. Bob Bieber, Ziggy’s groundskeeper. “He never looked like he had pants on, but his dog was okay.”

From Toonopedia: “His supporting cast includes a dog, Fuzz, whose main function is to echo and amplify Ziggy’s actions; a cat, Sid, who is afraid of mice; a parrot, Josh, who seldom has anything encouraging to say; a duck, Wack; and a fish, Goldie. These are augmented by an endless stream of auto mechanics, department store clerks, fortune tellers, psychoanalists, waitresses, etc., none of whom do much to brighten his life. He does not have a girlfriend.”

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(Photo: Ziggy and Fuzz in happier days)

Rest in Peace, Zigman. We’ll miss you.

Jerry’s Diner

Bunk’s Rules of the Road:
1. Always flush with your feet.
2. Anything named “Jerry’s Diner” is an excellent place for cheap, good food.

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My all-time favorite (deceased).

THIS Jerry’s Diner in Kent, Ohio, fed me well and cheaply throughout my college years. Seemed to be always open, and was conveniently located for easy stumbling access after the Water Street watering holes closed. There was usually a line out the door by 11pm, and it was longer later. (It was usually snowing, too.)

Wednesday was Fish Fry Night, all you can eat for $2.50, with home fries. Yeah, it was just Mrs. Paul’s with potatoes. We’d pass on supper on Tuesday just to take advantage of the deal, until one Wednesday too many we cleaned them out of frozen battered fish… that’s when they changed the rules.

After that, each of us had a limit of ten battered fish fillets. Period. Half of what we normally ate. Life’s just not fair sometimes.

I think that Hairy Mary had something to do with it. She was the waitress, and when she was in a bad mood, your order was launched down the counter at you and you had to catch it. Her bad mood seemed to coincide with whenever we stepped inside.

[UPDATE 19 NOVEMBER 2008: JERRY’S DINER HAS BEEN PURCHASED. THE NEW OWNER IS MOVING IT TO CLEVELAND FOR REFURBISHING AND POSSIBLE RELOCATION TO KENT. NEWS AS IT HAPPENS.]

[UPDATE 5 OCTOBER 2008:  JERRY’S DINER, KENT, OHIO, IS SLATED FOR DEMOLITION THIS MONTH.  STORY AFTER THE BREAK.]

[UPDATE 15 FEB 2009: Cleveland Plain Dealer article after the break.]


Here are some other “Jerry’s Diners” that showed up on a google search.

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Grub

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Eats

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Jerry’s

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Closed

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Open

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