Category: Not News

Stuff I Do When I’m Bored

Discovered By Kangaroos In Canberra – The World’s Largest Calcified Dog Poop

SHEEP

[Story found by the missus. More here.]

Portland Hipsters Can Eat Me.

EAT BUNK

No, that’s not a photo shop. It’s a real pig being fed a Bunk sandwich. With minimal sleuthing we determined that the hipsters’ porker is standing on the pristine pavement in front of BUNK Sandwiches 2017 NE Alberta Street, Portland Oregon.

This is not their only venue, and they have a Bunk Truck for catering. Why didn’t they tell me? After all, I’ve already got a cool hip logo for lease or rent:

Bunk Strutts Logo

BTW, Google Maps Street View captured this Babe Magnet parked across the street from Bunk’s.

Roadster at Bunk's Sandwiches Portland OR

[Top image sent via email. Muchisimas Grassyass, Russ.]

 

Introducing The 2015 MultiCar BS Coupe

The 3-wheeled MultiCar has been around for decades and is featured on many traffic reports. Manufactured by Pyeongwa Motors of North Korea, The 2015 MultiCar BS Coupe has many improvements over previous models, including tempered glass, a front-wheel disc brake and reverse-engineered Carter carburetors. Handling is somewhat below par, and there is no insurance coverage available to date. If price is a concern and replacement parts are not a concern, then the MultiCar may be just the right choice for you. [Strutts News Services]

Manufactured by Pyeongwa Motors of North Korea, the 3-wheeled MultiCar has been around for decades and is featured in many traffic reports. The 2015 MultiCar BS Coupe has many improvements over previous models, including tempered glass, a front-wheel disc brake and a reverse-engineered Carter carburetor. Handling is somewhat below par, and there is no insurance coverage available to date. If price is a concern and availability of replacement parts is not, the MultiCar may be just the right choice for you.
[Strutts News Services]

 

Thanks to the glory of communism, North Korea has what might be one of the lowest rates of car ownership in the world. Although the government doesn’t release official stats, the best estimate is that there are fewer than 30,000 vehicles on the road—in a country of nearly 24 million people. (Officially, private citizens can’t own cars, but those with government ties manage to.) You are more likely to know somebody with a private jet than a North Korean is to know somebody with a car.
[…]
Although a minute segment of the population owns cars, the rate of growth is significant. In fact, in 2007, cars were deemed prevalent enough that Kim Jong-Il ordered the confiscation of all Japanese-built vehicles.
[Via Pyeonghwa Motors.]

I suppose North Korea could set worldwide standards and opt for energy-efficient eco-vehicles that can be recharged overnight, but you’d have to drive to Pyongyang every night to do it and drive back the next day.

“Socialism/Fascism/Communism works. It’s just that it’s never been properly enforced.” –A random liberal.

LMAO.

Superman Suffers Stunning Setback

Superman Hits The Wall

(Strutts News Services) Metropolis

Clark Kent (aka Superman) found himself in a predicament last Thursday in the editing room of the Daily Planet. An unforseen bout of the trots compelled him to run faster than a speeding bullet from the offices of the esteemed publication to his Superprivvy on the outskirts of town to avoid damaging the sanitary facilities of the building. Approaching city limits at full-steam, Mr. Kent blasted into the kryptonite-based force field surrounding it. He survived the impact, but it reduced him to the physical stature of a 2-year old.

“I still have all my super powers,” chuckled Kent, “but for the next few years I guess I’ll have to tolerate being called “Supertoddler.”

Mr. Kent’s long time partner (and presumed mistress) Lois Lane refused to comment, instead directed reporters to call the “Happy Times Preschool” for updates.

[Image found here.]

Amish Ice Cutters Rescue Stranded Ice Breakers Rescuing Global Warming Proponents Stranded in Antarctica

harvesting ice

[Strutts News Services – Cleveland] Getting from Pennsylvania to Antarctica takes a while, but steady diligence always works.

Mennonites from around the globe are moving to free rescue vessels trapped in pack ice that threatens to crush the hulls of ships sent to evacuate a bunch of vapid idiots whose intentions were to view and compile data on melting ice during the Antarctica summer. The vapid idiots were successfully evacuated by ice breaking helicopters, and they’re now home safe and sound.

Those who volunteered for the rescue missions, as of this posting, are not, and nobody cares about those brave bastards.

EXCEPT FOR THE AMISH.

[Image found here.]