Category: Not News
Pokemon Go Figure
Click smaller images to engorge.
[Found in here. Top one from the 2016 RNC… kinda.]
Discovered By Kangaroos In Canberra – The World’s Largest Calcified Dog Poop
[Story found by the missus. More here.]
Portland Hipsters Can Eat Me.
No, that’s not a photo shop. It’s a real pig being fed a Bunk sandwich. With minimal sleuthing we determined that the hipsters’ porker is standing on the pristine pavement in front of BUNK Sandwiches 2017 NE Alberta Street, Portland Oregon.
This is not their only venue, and they have a Bunk Truck for catering. Why didn’t they tell me? After all, I’ve already got a cool hip logo for lease or rent:
BTW, Google Maps Street View captured this Babe Magnet parked across the street from Bunk’s.
[Top image sent via email. Muchisimas Grassyass, Russ.]
The Quality of Yahoo News
This Is Important, according to Yahoo News.
Introducing The 2015 MultiCar BS Coupe
Thanks to the glory of communism, North Korea has what might be one of the lowest rates of car ownership in the world. Although the government doesn’t release official stats, the best estimate is that there are fewer than 30,000 vehicles on the road—in a country of nearly 24 million people. (Officially, private citizens can’t own cars, but those with government ties manage to.) You are more likely to know somebody with a private jet than a North Korean is to know somebody with a car.
Although a minute segment of the population owns cars, the rate of growth is significant. In fact, in 2007, cars were deemed prevalent enough that Kim Jong-Il ordered the confiscation of all Japanese-built vehicles.
[Via Pyeonghwa Motors.]
I suppose North Korea could set worldwide standards and opt for energy-efficient eco-vehicles that can be recharged overnight, but you’d have to drive to Pyongyang every night to do it and drive back the next day.
“Socialism/Fascism/Communism works. It’s just that it’s never been properly enforced.” –A random liberal.
Superman Suffers Stunning Setback
(Strutts News Services) Metropolis
Clark Kent (aka Superman) found himself in a predicament last Thursday in the editing room of the Daily Planet. An unforseen bout of the trots compelled him to run faster than a speeding bullet from the offices of the esteemed publication to his Superprivvy on the outskirts of town to avoid damaging the sanitary facilities of the building. Approaching city limits at full-steam, Mr. Kent blasted into the kryptonite-based force field surrounding it. He survived the impact, but it reduced him to the physical stature of a 2-year old.
“I still have all my super powers,” chuckled Kent, “but for the next few years I guess I’ll have to tolerate being called “Supertoddler.”
Mr. Kent’s long time partner (and presumed mistress) Lois Lane refused to comment, instead directed reporters to call the “Happy Times Preschool” for updates.
[Image found here.]
Amish Ice Cutters Rescue Stranded Ice Breakers Rescuing Global Warming Proponents Stranded in Antarctica
[Strutts News Services – Cleveland] Getting from Pennsylvania to Antarctica takes a while, but steady diligence always works.
Mennonites from around the globe are moving to free rescue vessels trapped in pack ice that threatens to crush the hulls of ships sent to evacuate a bunch of vapid idiots whose intentions were to view and compile data on melting ice during the Antarctica summer. The vapid idiots were successfully evacuated by ice breaking helicopters, and they’re now home safe and sound.
Those who volunteered for the rescue missions, as of this posting, are not, and nobody cares about those brave bastards.
EXCEPT FOR THE AMISH.
[Image found here.]
How fast can YOU run up the stairs?
[Stairway to WTF found here.]