Folks, all you need to solve Soduku Puzzles quickly is an audience.
Take the section of the daily paper to the soccer game, airport queue line, family gathering, or anywhere someone might notice that you are working on a Sudoku grid.
Fill numbers into the grid at random, in ink, stopping occasionally to scratch your head or take a sip of something.
Finish filling in the grid quickly, lean back, and exhale. Then tear out the grid from the paper, fold it, and put it in your pocket. If anyone was looking over your shoulder, or otherwise checking you out, exclaim that you just broke your own record, and ask them to check it.
Then pull out the puzzle grid from YESTERDAY’S PAPER from the same pocket. (Be sure you’ve already filled in the published solution from TODAY’S PAPER in the same ink color to pull this off.)
Believe me, it’s more fun than the frustration of actually doing one, and you’ll regain the respect and admiration of friends, relatives and colleagues that you lost at last year’s Christmas Party.
[UPDATE: Feast of Palmer has a link to a “Rubber Biscuit” post-cursor, Sherriff & the Ravel’s “Shombolar” of 1959. Surprisingly similar… or not.]
In 1956, The Chips recorded “Rubber Biscuit” on the Josie label. An original copy of this 45rpm gem should fetch $100 plus today.
Then came The Blues Brothers. Dan Akroyd, aka “Elwood Blues,” did a fine rendition, very close to the original Chips version. He kicks it at 2 minutes into the video. If you are already familiar with this icon of American popular music, here are the lyrics as the Chips did it; otherwise, come back up here and practice after the song has burned another small greenish brown spot in the section of your brain labeled “Optional.”
RUBBER BISCUIT
The Chips: Nathaniel Epps, Charles “Kenrod” Johnson, Shedrick Lincoln, Samuel Strain Jr., Paul Fulton.
1956 Josie Records 803
Cow cow hoo-oo
Cow cow hoo-oo
Cow cow wanna dib-a-doo
Chick’n hon-a-chick-a-chick hole-a-hubba
Hell fried chuck-a-lucka wanna jubba
Hi-low ‘n-ay wanna dubba hubba
Day down sum wanna jigga-wah
Dell rown ay wanna lubba hubba
Mull an a mound chicka lubba hubba
Fay down ah wanna dip-a-zip-a-dip-a
Mm-mh, do that again!
Doo doo boooh
Cow cow lubba ‘n a-blubba lubba
Ow rown hibb’n ‘n a-hibba-lu
How low lubbin ‘n a-blubba-lubba
Hell ride ricky ticky hubba lubba
Dull ow de moun’ chicky hubba lubba
Wen down trucka lucka wanna do-uh
How low a zippin ‘n a-hubba-lu
Hell ride ricky ticky blubba-lu
Hell-o duh woody woody pecker pecker
Mm-mh, did you ever hear
of a wish sandwich?
Well that’s the kind of a sandwich
that is supposed to take
two pieces of bread
and wish you had some meat
Doo doo boooh
Cow cow lubba ‘n a-blubba lubba
Hell ride hibbin’ and zippin ‘n
How luva mail take a-lubba hubba
Hey ride wanna tak’ a-recca recca
Ho’ low take a-lubba hubba
Hey ride wanna ‘n suppa suppa
Ho’ low a mail take a-lubba hubba
Hey ride a hippin’ and a-hubbin’ no
Hi-low ‘n sum a-chicka whaa
The other day,
I ate a ricochet biscuit.
Well that’s the kind of biscuit that’s supposed to
bounce off the wall
back in your mouth.
If it don’t bounce back
– shh-mmhh-mmhh
You go hungry!
Doo doo boooh
Cow cow lubba ‘n a-blubba lubba
Hell low a sum did a-lubba goin’
Hey ride wan’ take a-lubba do
How long lon’ suppa dubba
How low a mail take a-lubba hubba
Hey ride wanna take a-lubba hubba
How low a mail take a-lubba hubba
Hey down nothin’ take a-luva do
Hey ride a sippin’ and a hubba dubba
mmmmmh, the other day
I ate a cool water sandwich
and a sunday-go-to-meeting bun.
Doo doo boooh
Cow cow lubba ‘n a-blubba lubba
Hell ride ricky ticky hubba lubba
How low a wann’ suppa do
Hey ride sippin’ and hubba lubba
Hell ride a-hubbin’ and wan’ do
Hey ride a wanna an’ recca recca
Ho’ low a mail take lubba hubba
Hey down a wann’ suppa dubba
Please ride a hubbin’ gonn’ do
What you want for nothin’
r-r-r-Rubber Biscuit!
Doo doo doo boooh
Cooow cooow oo-oooooouuuh
Review the lyrics and print ’em out so the whole family can sing along. Tough one-chord song to sing, and you won’t find the words anywhere else but here (unless you look hard elsewhere).
[Anyone who has an .mp3 file of the Chips’ original is invited to send a link, and we’ll post it and credit you here. –Bunk]
Who says elephants can’t jump. (Don’t bother turning up the sound… just watch it and you’ll hear it, especially if you already have a headache from too many Mondays this week.)
[Standing rules: As with all .gif’s posted here, the original sources have been misplaced, even though I looked behind the couch to find them. Post a comment with the verifiable source(s) and we’ll credit them. –Bunk]
The furnishings and inhabitants of this room were constructed entirely out of Cheetos. I bet the the Cheeto babe on the lower right has a three-foot high fluorescent orange bathtub ring of fingerprints in every room of her house.
(Cheetos… I’d pick them over Igde Pshat, except that the Idges are free, and you can’t pick Cheetos in the wild. Yet.)
This illustration was created entirely by typewriter by a man with cerebral palsy. More of his amazing works can be found at the link below. The close up details of the illustrations are amazing.
“Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born in Philadelphia on September 21, 1921 with severe cerebral palsy.
“Not only had Paul beaten the odds of a life with spastic cerebral palsy, a disability that impeded his speech & mobility but also taught himself to become a master artist as well as a terrific chess player even after being devoid of a formal education as a child.
“When typing, Paul used his left hand to steady his right one. Since he couldn’t press two keys at the same time, he almost always locked the shift key down and made his pictures using the symbols at the top of the number keys. In other words, his pictures were based on these characters … @ # $ % ^ & * ( ) _ .“
As a unique benefit to viewers of this site, you are hereby entitled to the bona-fide certificate above, to display proudly, to reassure your friends, pets, co-workers and relatives that you are truly concerned about the environment, conscious of things way beyond your control, and that you are willing to fight future Global Cooling at the same time.
There’s no cost to you. It’s all prepaid, simply by visiting TR. But you can support the survival of humanity by clicking the link below and ordering something. After all, it’s For The Children. Let’s put the Green back in Greenland!
Source here. (If you live in Arizona and want a more glossy certificate, here you go. Click on the image above right on the page.)
Forget break dancing, krumping, planking, advanced tublication and line dancing. Here’s the Lindy Hop, and it’s completely nuts (at least the way the Slim and Slam All-Stars featuring Whitey’s Lindy Hoppers did it).
Link found at Miss C Recommends.
She’ll always tell you where to go.
Tacky Raccoons 
