Month: July 2008

Bunk’s Second Ride: Pre-Babe Magnet

Definitely not a babe magnet, but at that age I wasn’t interested and didn’t care.

I remember cruising around a lot in this rockin’ mobile (in my mind, in the basement, in my underwear) with the (imaginary) wind blowing through my flattop, and every station on the (pretend) radio playing either “WipeOut,” “Beechwood4-5789,” or “Witch Doctor.” No commercials.

And I’d completely forgotten about all of that until I slowly cruised through a Russian website.  As soon as I spotted an Original BunkMobile, I jammed my right foot through the cardboard box brake pedal, broke the the toilet plunger dowel that served as an emergency handbrake, and  I spun out on Dead Man’s Curve.  With quick reflexes, I recovered in time to right-click and click “Save Image As.”  No injuries, no damage;  brakes are good, tires fair.

—————————-

But that was my second ride.  My first ride was a chrome steel tube framed chair that hooked over the back of the front seat of Poppa Strutt’s 1960 Chevy BelAire.

The red-vinyl seat came equipped with a cloth cinch-belt, a little plastic steering wheel with a horn that Pappa Strutts dismantled before I knew that it was supposed to beep, and absolutely nothing to anchor the car seat to the car.

It was designed so that on an emergency stop, the Lil’ Roadmaster Car Seat launches Lil’ Roadmaster into the rearview mirror to prevent Lil’ Roadmaster’s noggin from penetrating the windshield. Pure efficient genius.

Which brings up a good question:  Why aren’t we all dead?

[Image from here.]

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Paranoia Sweater

You can’t ignore me forever.

I’ve hidden your straw.

I’m gonna play “Everything Is Beautiful” over and over and over if you don’t come out.

I can still see your toes.

There’s a spider above you.

I’ve locked the bathroom door.

I’m still sitting here, and I’m watching you.

I’m going to be very quiet now…

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Sushi for Squirrels

Sometimes you’re just hungry enough to eat it.

One story I read about the phrase “to eat crow” claims it went back to the War of 1812. Because there were no grocery stores on or near the battlefields (let alone anywhere), an occasional cease fire allowed the combatants to go hunting, while at the same time respecting the battle lines.

Seems that one of the rebels crossed that line while hunting for food, and shot a crow. A Brit caught him at gunpoint in British territory and disarmed him. The Brit, commenting that the Yank was not respecting the ceasefire, told the Yank to get the bird, and take a bite. The Yank, at gunpoint, did as directed.

As the cease-fire rules were still in effect, the Yank commented on the Brit’s firearm, that it appeared to be of very high quality, well machined, good stock, etc. The Brit, honoring the cease-fire, was flattered, and allowed the Yank to inspect his weapon.

The Yank then turned the weapon on the Brit, presented the crow (with one bite out of it) and said, “Okay. Now finish it.”

[Image found here.]

Variegated Loch Ness Buttberry

The exotic Variegated Loch Ness Buttberry should not be confused with the domestic Struttsiani Bunkisasi  Buttberry, pictured below, as they are a distinct and separate feces.

[Top image: BOSSY.  Bottom image, well, they both are, aren’t they.]

Tron Turtle

I don’t recall where I found the link to Dave’s site, but this image jumped out at me.  After I dried myself off, I axed him about the colors, and here’s his response:

“Thank you for the feedback! It is funny that you see amazing color where I see too much green and blue! I don’t think the turtle was fluorescent; and while I don’t recall it being quite as bright greenly splotched, the camera often sees things differently than we do underwater, particularly when a flash is used. This is because water “absorbs” the colors of sunlight, the deeper you go, and thus things do not look as colorful in natural light to the diver. However, if you are close enough to use a flash, the white light from the flash “adds back” the color that has been filtered away from the sunshine.”

Adjust your nitrogen level, Dave.  It’s a great photo.  Just don’t lecture me about ugly dogs, okay?

[More amazing underwater photos of underwater things can be found at  One Diver’s Perspective.]

Bunk’s Money Saving Tips: How to Save Gas

Oil prices are up.  Propane prices are up.  Methane prices are going up, too, so save it for a rainy day.  Don’t keep ’em bottled up inside, collect ’em all and cash ’em in!  Register a brand name like I did (Jumpin’ Jack Flashizza™) and wait for the FartMart to open a retail outlet near you.  Then you can barter your best SBD BarnBurners in bulk and get paid for your flatulence daily, weekly, or monthly as required.

Just another Money Saving Tip for loyal readers of Tacky Raccoons.

[Image from here.  Nice find, Planetross.]

Humor-Blogs.com (and if I don’t start getting some hits from Diesel’s website I’m gonna drop the widgets.)

[UPDATE-  I think I got the link to Humor-Blogs fixed.  Try it out and get Tacky Raccoons back into the top 10%  – Bunk]

[UPDATE 2 – The link still doesn’t recobanize the post source.  (The guttural non-fricative “grrrrg” comes to mind.)]

Saturday Matinee – Nobody Like Me + Slide City: Cooder, Raitt, Hooker, Block & Coetzee (and then the B-52s)

Before we get to our main feature, I found this at the last minute.  For those of you that think the “Summer of Love” was all hippies and beads and tie-dye and bell bottoms and pot, check this out:
IT’S 1967 AND PITTSBURGH ROCKS!

(Note that the Dickies covered “Nobody Like Me” in 1983, George Thorogood covered it in 1982, which had been covered by the Human Beinz in 1967, originally recorded in 1962 by the Isley Brothers.  As if you didn’t know.)

Ry Cooder is considered the greatest slide guitarist of the last 30 years. Here’s his version of “Jesus on the Mainline.”

The great Bonnie Raitt (also considered the greatest slide guitarist of the last 30 years) sleazes it up with the great John Lee Hooker (considered to be the greatest slide guitarist of the last 1,000 years) on “I’m in the Mood.”

Nice slide from Rory Block with her cover of Robert Johnson‘s “Terraplane Blues.”

Hannes Coetzee: No bottleneck git-fiddle here, just a soup spoon.  [If it doesn’t play, try here.]

Who doesn’t like the B-52s, especially a catchy song with no rhymes at all?  [Found here with lyrics.]

Saturday Matinee Bonus: Kelly Pettit

Aussie/Canuck Kelly Pettit sounds like the best of many bands I liked in the late 70’s-early 80’s, including the Beat Farmers and the Rave-Ups.  He’s not unknown south of the equator, and he has a big following in Japan. Here’s a sampler link.

TGIF: The .Gif Friday Post 40 – Wet Kid Stuff

Kids like to get wet (except for the last one who ran home to change his pants).

[.Gifs from here, thanks to Dan for the tip.]

Rubik’s Cephalopod

Dorset, UK (Strutts News Services) – British scientists on an after-hours bender decided that the world needs to know if octopi are ambidextrous or prefer one tentacle over the rest.  The problem was to decide on a procedure.

“If they’re so bloody smart, LET’S GIVE THE SLIMY BASTARDS RUBIK’S CUBES!” blurted one, and after another round of scrumpy, the panel agreed.

Once they recovered from their collective hangovers, they collected 25 octopi and 25 Rubik’s Cubes and let the games begin.  Scientist Bonnie Phumph of the Sea Life Centre in Weymouth, Dorset, remarked, “It’ll be very interesting to see the results,” apparently referring to the government research grant money.

No news yet on the success of the cephalopod subjects’ cerebral solutions, although an early leaked report indicates that two of the tentacled brainiacs peeled off the colored labels in frustration, and a third dismantled its Cube and cracked the smaller cubes into fragments.

[Image and original story from here.  Related posts here, here and here.]

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