Bunk grew up in the eastern U.S. Regional lore maintains that the severity of each coming winter can be predicted by examining the size of the brown band of the Woolly Bear Caterpillar:
According to legend, the severity of the upcoming winter can be judged by examining the pattern of brown and black stripes on woolly bear caterpillars–the larvae of Isabella tiger moths. If the brown stripe between the two black stripes is thick, the winter will be a mild one. A narrow brown stripe portends a long, cold winter.
This specimen from September shows no black bands at all, suggesting that the winter of 2007-08 will be one of the warmest on record and we’ll all be grilling hot dogs and burgers in January. You can find a couple of curious videos of these giant freaks of nature here.
Here’s a normal sized one, sleeping:
[Quote from here. First image from a site with an unfortunately inappropriate name that we won’t post on this site. Second image from here.]
The late Cajun Chef Justin Wilson was the only cooking show I ever watched. With more holidays on the way, here is the master to show you how to make Chicken Gumbo with Andoille. Be pay attention so’s to done did it right, I gare-on-tee.
Speaking of Wilson, here’s a claymation version of Jackie Wilson’s “Reet Petite” that can only be described as bizarre:
Then there’s the Wicked Wilson Pickett, here with “99-1/2”:
My favorite Wilson of all won Best Supporting Actor for his role in the movie “Castaway” without speaking a single word due to great writing. Here’s a video of his complete monologue, in 3-D:
MagLev Bicycle For Sale 30% Off.
The chicks’ll dig you when you “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”
You’ll also notice that the Cap’n is not paying attention, and that it’s obvious that the sailbabe wants you… as soon as you can show her that you, too, can “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”
Just beware… due to global warming, the fish population has dropped dramatically, and you’ll have to contend with diminutive seabats buzzing around your ears, regardless of whether or not you can “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”
[Excellent image and quote from 1933, a mere five years before the warmest year on record, via Plan59. More Babe Magnetism here.]
If you buy this thinking that your cat is smart enough to turn on the TV, turn on the DVD player, open this box, put the DVD into the player, find the remote, grab a beer, hit “PLAY” and actually pay attention to this ridiculous exploitation of people who think cats are humans trapped in the bodies of furry lizards, you should pay triple the price as a penalty. Wait. That’s wrong… hand over the contents of your wallet and sign over your bank account to the first person you meet named Bunk.
A much cheaper version is available, and it’s free. It’s called “Throw the Cat Outside Like You’re Supposed To.”
[Image from Chiquiworld.]
Thanks gobs for all your support and interest this past year, and may your Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa festivities include the gift of socks for you and yours.
Bunk & the Family Strutts
[Image from here.]
This is beyond the Valley of Stupid, past the Hill of Morons, and all the way up to the Citadel of Ignoramus, but it’s available here. The site has an appropriately annoying soundtrack, too, to remind you of what bubble wrap popping sounds like. China knows that we’ll buy anything except for an oil pipeline from the Alaskan arctic desert, and they’re banking on bubble wrap popping audio electronics for now.
Don’t get me wrong. I’d be hawking it right here if I’d thought of it first.
P.S. Don’t buy it yet. This is only the beta analog version. Digital is coming out in January.
Everyone should have an Albino Bowler Action Figure, if only to go with that Lunch Lady Action Figure you have on your desk.
[Image from here via RGS.]
As a regular goy, it just occurred to me that I’ve inadvertently overlooked our non-goyim friends and readers who celebrate Hannukah this time of year. To recompense for my accidental oversite, here’s this gift suggestion:
A DELUXE EDITION of NO LIMIT TEXAS DREIDEL
[I didn’t make that up. Ask Kinky Friedman. Here’s the link, found here. At least it’s not “Strip Dreidel.”]