Mrs. Jenkins



Mrs. Jenkins. Everyone knew her by name, yet she knew none of ours. She never spoke, except when we walked down the line pretending to stick our fingers down our throats.

Mrs. Jenkins was The Lunch Lady, and she had a hair net and a mole. She worked the serving line in the Maple Dale Elementary School cafeteria serving up fluorescent orange “sloppy joes” on buns that were more like pancakes; warm egg salad; green orbs with orange cubes (both having the consistency of PlayDoh) labeled as “peas & carrots;” and cheeseburgers consisting of a rectangular piece of asphalt roof shingle with a triangle of Velveeta. Oh, yeah… macaroni and Velveeta was available everyday.


And now you can purchase Mrs. Jenkins, The Lunch Lady Action Figure just as you remember her and make her eat that garbage.


The Lunch Lady Action Figure comes complete with steam table inserts for Mac & Velv, PlayDoh Peas, Mystery Meat, and all the other choices we shunned as kids. (Honest, I’m not shilling for them, but it’s available here. Other photo from here.)

6 Responses to “Mrs. Jenkins”

  1. Bunk Says:

    Mrs. Jenkins was actually very nice. She took the brunt of our impudence when all she did was to serve it. The women who concocted the stuff had usually gone into hiding by the time we hungry annoying little weasels showed up. Thank you Mrs. Jenkins, and we’re sorry.

  2. Jayne Says:

    How very disturbing! I can just imagine what a 12 year old would do to a toy like that!

  3. CheeseDuck Says:

    Maple Dale?
    Thats an elementary school where I live!

  4. Alpaca the Awesome Says:

    She’s a TRUE American hero.

  5. Bunk Strutts Says:

    CheeseDuck– It’s the same one… spooky. There’s a dead turtle buried next to the willow tree out past the playground. Honest.

  6. Michelle O. Action (Go) Figure « Tacky Raccoons Says:

    […] But Michelle’s action figure is still not as awesome as this one. […]

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