Globe, AZ (Strutts News Services) – According to one reputable source, TWC, Global temperatures are expected to increase as much as 26 degrees fahrenheit tomorrow, but should cool off later in the day. One local business owner isn’t happy.
Collie Davis of “Globe Industries” bemoans the extreme heat fluctuations. “We specialize in manufacturing garden gnomes. They come in many earth-tone colors, but this temperature shift has turned our entire stock to lobster red. Red Gnomes are ugly and just plain stupid!”
Johan VanDinck, spokesgnome for URG (Union of Red Gnomes), threatened a mass walkout unless Davis retracts his statement. “There ain’t gonna be no Christmas until we settle this.”
Ongoing story is heating up; news here as it happens. Photo via Variant.
Tacky Raccoons 
Gnomes are people too! Fight against the man, gnomes!!!
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Re: Red & pink gnomes.
That would be as opposed to, what, “earth-tone gnomes” that are NOT “just plain ugly and stupid.” I’m Just Sayin’…
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