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The Ignosecond

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The Ignosecond is roughly defined as the time between the moment one does something inherently stupid and the moment one realizes that it’s too late to stop the results of that action.

Example: You exit your car, lock the car door and swing it shut; immediately before the car door latches you realize that your keys are still in the ignition. That minuscule span of time is called the Ignosecond.

Underrated comedian Rich Hall coined the term “Sniglet” for something that ought to have a word to describe it but doesn’t. “Ignosecond” is such a word.

Because of the instantaneous nature of the Ignosecond, it’s very difficult to capture the image precisely when it occurs, so some of these images below are actually “Pre-Igno” and/or “Post-Igno.”

ignosecond_amyoops1.jpg

Although this “Post-Ignosecond” was staged, this happened to a college buddy who grabbed the “Head & Shoulders” shampoo instead of the toothpaste.

ignosecond_iwt2.jpg

True ignosecond. The dog lived, but was never quite the same. His stance widened considerably, but other than that was fine, and earned the nickname “LowBrow.”

ignosecond_amyoops3.jpg

Post ignosecond for this dog who learned that he can’t herd boars.

ignosecond_iwt5.jpg

True ignosecond. Both riders suddenly realized why bikers wear leather.

ignosecond_iwt4.jpg

True ignosecond.

ignosecond_iwt3.jpg

Pre-ignosecond has passed. Post-ignosecond coming up.

ignosecond_iwt1.jpg

Pre-ignosecond. The guy on the left is about to try to scare the bear. Then he’ll experience the nasty end of the ignosecond.

ignosecond_amyoops4.jpg

Post ignosecond: “…and then when the beer spilled I dropped my cigareet onto my lap and that’s when I hit the ‘celerator instead of the brakes! Thank God it’s your wife’s car!” [True story from here via Arbroath.]

ignosecond_amyoops2.jpg

IGNOSECOND TRIFECTA! All three had their own ignoseconds caught on tape (four including the cameraman).

Years ago when Bunk was a lil’ tad, Momma Strutts accidentally locked the keys to the Ford Country Squire IN the Ford Country Squire, in the AGC grocery store parking lot. She called my father to bring the extra key. That’s when the ignosecond struck. While waiting for Papa Strutts to show up, I found that one of the rear passenger doors was still unlocked. Momma was not stupid; she deftly opened the door, and without saying anything, pushed the lock button down and shut it. I’ve always admired her for that.

[Images from [Insert Witty Title] and AmyOops.]

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7 Responses to “The Ignosecond”

  1. AmyOops Says:

    Very cool. Like you site!

  2. Finicky Penguin Says:

    Another acceptable caption for these pictures is “FAIL.”

  3. Slippy Lane Says:

    I believe the caption for number four should read “FAIL Sequence Initiated”

  4. VE Says:

    Ignosecond…great word. (Major bonus if you know the movie reference too)

    To all those on the brink of divorce…that “I do” must feel like an Ignosecond now….

  5. Bunk Strutts Says:

    AmyOops– Like you site, too.

    FinPeng & Slippy– Ditto that.

    VE– I don’t follow the movies, so I don’t know which one referenced it. The “Ignosecond” was described in a paperback book in the late 1970’s, “Sniglets,” by Rich Hall. Another “sniglet” I remember was “pupsqueak,” the sound a puppy makes when it yawns too far.

    “Sniglets” was one of those stupid books that you’d never buy for yourself but a close relative sent it to you thinking that you’d really enjoy reading it while sitting on the potty.

    My copy of “Sniglets” is somewhere in the garage… but I don’t have a toilet there. (My autographed copy of Diesel’s “AntiSocial Commentary” is still sitting on the back of the in-house commode, though).

  6. Kitty Says:

    “pushed the lock button down and shut it. I’ve always admired her for that.”

    That’s hilarious.

  7. Bunk Strutts Says:

    What’s more amazing is that we kids kept our mouths shut and Papa Strutts never found out.

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