Once upon a time in a land of opportunity someone realized that there was a market for pig machines. Sitting for weeks on end, he pondered the problem before he went to the drafting board and came up with this excellent solution to a puzzle that had been bothering mankind since the first porkers were domesticated: how to adorn a sow with lipstick.
Obviously distraction was a key part of the resulting product, and once the animal was oblivious to its surroundings, one could also measure and weigh it. This data greatly reduced the amount of guessing that coopers required, allowing them to expand their trade, and thus pork barrel spending turned into a booming industry that survives to this day.
True story.
[Image from here, crossposted here.]
Tacky Raccoons 
And to think we still weigh horses with a tape measure! Of course, they will stand still for lipstick, so not a problem…
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Hey, that reminds me of a girl I knew in high school.
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thelit– Thought you’d do it with 3-D mapping software and a two or three decent photos.
Coop– She was an industrial engineer? Cool.
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Nope, a cheerleader.
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Pigs can’t fly, but they can get up there.
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Coop– You’re telling me that a cheerleader invented a similar contraption? I’m impressed.
plane– Michael Moore for example…
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