Advertisements

Babe Magnet del Pinto Viento

by

Whoa! This Monster Magoo automatically qualifies as a genuine Babe Magnet if only because its owner photographed it from dog-eye level and printed it in B&W just to keep the yellow snow in check.

Good God, I’m drooling over this one… way too many places to begin, so let’s start here.

IT’S A PINTO!

But wait, there’s more! It’s a dark color, prolly navy blue, with flames erupting from the wrong end of this rolling molotov cocktail. The Ford Pinto was designed to be, and was, a real carp car, until GMC AMC beat Ford to the bottom with the Gremlin. At least the Gremlin didn’t spray atomized gasoline all over the neighborhood when it was rear-ended by that little s.o.b. Bobby Bieber on his Honda 50.

In order to enhance the Pinto’s reputation as a rolling flamethrower, Earl “Tom” Slick jacked it up to make sure that ANY rear end collision would hit the gas tank, and not just the ones caused by Stevie Wonder backing into the 6-inch yellow-painted steel pipe filled with concrete adjacent to the Wendy’s drive-thru window.

Oh, but then there are the snow tires that say either “Granola” or “Formula.” If the former, Earl is the whelp of hippy wannabes; if the latter, Tom has at least one PET Milk fan in his nuclear family. He gets some serious BM points either way.

Good God. There’s just too much to comment on, like the air dam with what appears to be a Life Motto: “To the House.” Maybe it’s “To the Mouse.” Or maybe it’s “To the Noose.” Doesn’t matter. It’s there, and it’s going to the thing that it refers to. Whew.

This is a classic Babe Magnet if there ever was one.

We haven’t even touched on Earl’s aluminum tower. Two lame Carter carburetors take the place of one lame Rochester on a homemade aluminum chimney.

We didn’t get to the sound system, designed solely for Brownsville Station’s greatest 8-track hit. We didn’t clamp down on Earl’s taste in sidewalk sirens/pavement princesses.

SO much left untouched and undone.

This BABE MAGNET deserves a second helping. Fill in the blanks with a Number Two pencil in the comments section below.

[UPDATE: The air dam inscription is “TO THE WOODS” and makes just about as much sense as the other interpretations. Oh, wait, maybe it’s “TO THE HOODS.” Hold on… “TO THE WOOS’S?” I dunno, Babs.]

[Pinto Blowage from here.]

Advertisements

4 Responses to “Babe Magnet del Pinto Viento”

  1. Finicky Penguin Says:

    Whoa. I need to gets me one of those.

  2. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Your grammar’s wrong. Should be “needs.”

  3. nothere Says:

    AMC made the Gremlin.

  4. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Nothere–Good God! I misspelled “AMC.” Thanks for the correction.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


%d bloggers like this: