Big Oil. Right.

by

Lets talk about Big Oil.  Honkin’ Big Oil.  Big ol’ Honkin’ Big Oil.  You know which Oil I’m talking about.

A barrel of crude oil (oil that is kinda obnoxious and rude) is 42 gallons, and a gallon is 128 fluid ounces.  If a barrel of oil costs $100, then a gallon of oil costs $2.38 in US dollars.  That means that an ounce of oil costs less than two cents. Not a bad deal.

Big 3-In-One Oil: Three fluid ounces for $2.99 equates to a buck an ounce. Since 1 gallon = 128 ounces, the price of 3-In-One Oil is $128.00 per gallon.  Outrageous, but where’s the outrage?

Big Baby Oil:  20 ounces for $5.49.  Talkin’ only $35.14 per gallon, baby.

Big Tiki Oil: 8 ounces of paraffin oil has a price of $4.65, or $0.58 per ounce, $74.40 per gallon.  But if you buy a 55 gallon drum for $1,080.00, the price comes down to $19.64 per gallon.  Quite a deal.

Now, let’s look at Olive Oyl.  Big Olive Oyl.  Big Virgin Olive Oyl.

Okay, Big Extra Virgin Olive Oil is selling for $26.00 for 33.8 fluid ounces which equals 77 cents per ounce.  There’s a whopping $98.46 per gallon that nobody’s screaming about.  Why?  Because Ray doesn’t yell at Bob, “Hey Dude!  You forgot the Extra Virgin Olive Oil again!  I’m gonna kick yer ass!”

“But Bunk!” you holler, “That’s oil that you can eat!”  I’m with Bob.  At $98 bucks a gallon I ain’t a-gonna spring for no Olive Oil any more.  And at $128 per gallon for 3-In-One, hell with it.  My hinges are gonna squeak.  Quit whining and deal with it.

Let’s drill for the cheap stuff to make it even cheaper.

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