Brick’s Spider

by

Bugs I can do…spiders…not so much.

Damn near wrecked my car once on I-81. Flipped down the sun visor and a big-ass spider, about the size of a manhole cover drops down about 6 inches in front of my face and just hangs there swinging ever so slightly on his 200 lb. shock cord, about as thick as my thumb. We were eye-to-eye and even with my sun-glasses on, he had me outnumbered 2 to 1. It was so big it completely blocked my view through the windshield. I think I blacked out for a moment because the next thing I remember I was off the side of the road, trying to get out of my car, with my seat-belt still hooked in.

I noticed my sunroof was open, and off to the side of the road something caught my eye. I saw what I thought looked like a deer being dragged through heavy brush with a similar colored shock cord with 2 big puncture wounds on his neck…and a hairy leg as big around as a telephone pole disappearing into the thickets.

It’s a good thing too, because if I’d have gotten out of my seat belt, that spider would have got a whoopin’ to end all whoopins.

[Image from here. Awesome story via Brick. Crossposted here.]

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5 Responses to “Brick’s Spider”

  1. Lemur King Says:

    That’s what 12 gauge shotguns are for – spiders. And centipedes. And burglars, of course.

    Like

  2. Leeuna Foster Says:

    Bwahahahaha. Lucky spider. Seat belts do save lives. The spider’s.

    Like

  3. wheels Says:

    I remember driving through west Texas years ago, heading into the sunset. It was shortly after a rain, so the tarantulas were out and about. I very distinctly remember seeing the sunlight shining beneath the body of one crossing the road ahead of me atop a small rise in the road.

    Like

  4. Bunk Strutts Says:

    Lemur– Especially when they’re silk-sailing.

    Leeuna– I don’t mind spiders as they’re beneficial predators. On the other hand, walking through an orb weaver’s web gets me to do the wubba-wubba dance every time.

    wheels– We’ve got black widows around here. They’re real amateurs when it comes to web design.

    Like

  5. wheels Says:

    My ex referred to our first house as “Kingdom of the Spiders.” It was new construction, and I had to do the “Black Widow Patrol” every few days for months. It wasn’t as bad once we got the lawn in, though. We had a pet rabbit that ate spiders, which endeared him to the ex.

    Where I am now, I get some pretty big orb-weavers on the back deck.

    Like

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