Open Mic Opossum

“True story. Okay, so I’m like sitting on State Route 4 enjoying some midnight road pizza, minding my own business, and this car comes outta nowhere and BAM!

“I’m like, ‘Dude, didn’t you see me eating that dead crow? Are you blind?’ They always say the same damn thing as they help you up:

“‘Sorry, I didn’t see you. You were invisible.’ Meanwhile, blood’s spewing out my ears like a Bronx fire hydrant on a hot summer day. So I bit him.

“I’m like, ‘Sorry, your hand was invisible. Ever had rabies?’

“So, yeah. I bought him 21 shots that night and he never even thanked me.”

[Image found here.]

Let’s Get This Party Started!

Ok, for all of you who do not know me, I’m Finicky Penguin, administrator extraordinaire of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Soda, and I only have 3 things to say now…

First off, I have the keys and I’ll gladly pass them to the highest bidder.

Second, once I’m done here, this blog’ll most likely look like this:

Thanks.

Lastly, you all must vote in this poll:

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