Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

Something about this amuses me.

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Life Straw

No, he’s not whistling songs to the fishes. He’s drinking water containing dead microscopic animal carcasses so that he can conserve his stash of Evian. Very cool.

This eco-friendly guy is demonstrating how to properly use a “Life Straw,” a water filtration device that, in an emergency, allows one to drink up to 264 gallons of water without getting amoebic dysentery or other nastiness that flourishes in non-chlorinated water. In order to use the device, one must lay prone on the muddy bank of a polluted stream, fetid pool, or on the tarmac next to an oil-laced pothole, and just stick it in and suck it up.

Apparently you’re not allowed to use a collapsible camping cup to scoop up the filthy polluted disease-laden water. You gotta get down and do it like the slugs and snails while keeping your watch dry. (After all, you gotta know what time you’re going to be dehydrated, rignt?)

Generally, if you drink enough fluid so that you rarely feel thirsty and your urine is colorless or light yellow — and measures about 6.3 cups (1.5 liters) or more a day if you were to keep track — your fluid intake is probably adequate.

That’s from the Mayo Clinic website. So assuming you keep track of your piss volume, 264 gallons of fresh water = 1,056 quarts = 2,112 Pints = 4,224 cups. 4,224 cups /6.3 cups /day = 670.5 days worth of water. That’s almost 2 years of clean water for only $19.95. Damn cheap, and you could lap out of every toilet bowl you ran across without fear of turning into a dog.

The question is, who wanders so far away from civilization that they would need 2 years of fresh water for a hiking trip? Maybe they brought a friend with them and reduced the supply by half. Bring more friends, and they better bring their own.

On the other hand, if the product filters like it’s supposed to, at $20 US a pop (excuse me, $19.95 + Shipping & Handling for non-indigenous hikers lost for a couple of years in the bush) there should be no 3rd World people that can’t afford it… until you realize that many are living on pennies a day because their governments won’t allow them to do otherwise, assuming they even have governments.

This product, although it is little more than an overpriced equivalent to chlorine tablets, or to scooping water out of a bog and boiling the hell out of it in a pot, is aimed at people like Mister Mudsucker above.

I love EnvironMentalCapitalism. =D

P.S. The link doesn’t say if it works on water from the garden hose.

[Update: Apparently potable water purification tablets are a lot more expensive per gallon than this device, and you’d still have to strain the muck from the water at some point during treatment; however, if you drop that sucking thingy into the pool of filth, I guess you’d have to sanitize it in boiling water anyway.]

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Canada Considers Fence On Southern Border To Stem Wave Of Illegal Immigration

Sunday, 23 November 2014

CAUTION

Mexico allows Central and South American immigrants to pass through her borders on 72 hour visas, and most of those people are headed for the porous southern border of the US. As these illegal immigrants pour in, local pressure builds, and now there’s another movement happening at the US – Canadian Border. Canadians don’t like it.

US Canada Border Fence

Here’s the full transcript from The Manitoba Herald 1 December 2010:

Border Fence Proposed
by Clive Runnels
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they’ll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it’s not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold,exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. “Not real effective,” he said. “The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn’t give any milk.”

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves. “A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Ontario border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.” When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the ’50s. “If they can’t identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age,” an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. “I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can’t support them,” an Ottawa resident said. “How many art-history majors does one country need?”

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, “We’re going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out,” he said.

The US and Canada are not the only countries experiencing an influx of illegal immigrants crossing their southern borders. Check out this image from Vladikavkaz, Russia:

illegal-immigrants-in-russia

If the Theory of Global Worming is true, there’s going to be a massive influx of people from all regions south of the Arctic Circle, judging from the current migration patterns.

Sure, Canada has Molson’s and poutine, but I’m gonna stay put and watch the parade. By the way, The Manitoba Herald folded in 1877, there is no such person named Clive Runnels, and I am not the author of the quoted satirical article. Go figger.

[Source]

Where is The National Lampoon now that we need it?

Thursday, 6 November 2014

National Lampoon Death Issue

Seems somewhat appropriate given the results of yesterday’s poll. The majority of the US voting populace hasn’t bought into the crap promoted by the socialists, despite their hollow threats, and that’s a good thing.

[Image found all over the internest, but reposted from here.]

The FLOTUS: Fashion Caboose

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

AFP 533318897 A GOV USA DC

That’s Michelle Obama wearing something that no other mortal has ever worn. She strapped it on, laced it, and tied it up all by herself. TRUE.

[More here.]

Saturday Matinee – Mock Lobster, Mountain Of Dinosaurs & Spirit Family Revival

Saturday, 10 May 2014

Mock Lobster by the Bit52s is very cool [via].

Mountain of Dinosaurs [Rasa Strautmane, USSR 1967] was an anti-soviet propaganda film. Watch it for the nuances before you read the following.

The short warns about what happens if powerful stewards meant to care for individuals actually stifle those they are charged to protect. Dinosaurs didn’t die because of climate change, the short says, but because their eggs became so thick-shelled in response to colder temperatures that the baby dinosaurs couldn’t hatch. The shells (yes, the eggshells speak) mindlessly drone that they are doing their “duty,” but by growing thicker and thicker they kill the nascent sauropods. The scene is the saddest dinosaur cartoon I’ve ever seen, and it seems to be a metaphor for the Soviet government suppressing the rights of individual citizens. Indeed, the death of dinosaurs was not only used by Americans to issue dire warnings — they are an international symbol of extinction.

Brian Switek

Heavy stuff is neither to be ignored nor swept under the rug, IMO.

So let’s lighten it up a tad instead.

The Spirit Family Reunion plays “Come On/Anna” in a bus. Nice roadtrip music, even if they play it at 11.

Have a great weekend, folks, and be sure to hug your mother on Sunday.

May Day 2014 – It CAN Happen Here.

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Russia May Day

And it IS happening here.

Fight communism, socialism, fascism and other forms of liberalism wherever you find it – if not for yourselves, then do it for your children,  grandchildren and future generations who don’t deserve to live a life of serfdom beholden to government wonks of any political party that aims to control every aspect of your life, including, but not limited to, rescinding the 1st and 2nd Amendments.

Always remember that the 2nd Amendment was written to protect the 1st.

Stand up for your principles and speak your mind before it’s too late. The clock is ticking…

Bunk Strutts

And A New Government Program Is Whelped.

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Celtic_Fairy_Tales

[Image from here.]

Cross-Stitched Hot Links

Sunday, 30 March 2014

Cross Stitch RuPaul

Cross stitch + .gif animations + transvestites =  The RuPaul Cross Stitch Animation Workshop.

“We met over 4 Wednesday nights to learn cross stitch, view experimental animation, celebrate local drag, and discuss GIF culture.”

18 Owls [via].

Cookin’ With Aunt Ethel” as sung by Linda Hopkins is great and bizarre at the same time. Apparently it’s from a 1985 satirical play entitled “The Colored Museum.”

Google this and read it.

Congressional Record–Appendix, pp. A34-A35
January 10, 1963
Current Communist Goals
EXTENSION OF REMARKS OF HON. A. S. HERLONG, JR. OF FLORIDA
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Thursday, January 10, 1963

Posted verbatim sans commentary here.

The Tee-Tones are awesome.

Q: What happens if a fire breaks out where firearms ammunition is stored?
A: Not much [via].

Émile Cohl’s Fantasmagorie (1908) is regarded as the first cartoon animation [via].

NSA + IRS = [(1984+30) x 11] = WTF

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

Big Brother Security Co.

ALL YOUR DORITO ARE BELONG TO US

[Found here.]

Saturday Matinee – Portuguese Man O’ War, Bonanza, David Rose & The Beat Farmers

Saturday, 25 January 2014


[Vid found here.]

The Portuguese Man O’ War is amazing, as it’s not a single animal, but a colony of several bizarre organisms, all dependent on the others for survival. One provides transportation, one lures and traps food, one processes it, one cooks, and the other one does laundry and runs the blog.

The harmless gasbag idiot-animal floats while dangling his nasty stinging-tentacled buddies as deep as 160 feet below the surface. How they find each other and decide to hang together is a mystery to me, unless it has something to do with cheap beer, tasers and fraternity parties.

I saw one washed up on a beach when I was a kid without knowing what it was – thought it was an inflatable toy dolphin with seaweed attached. Yeah, I poked it with a stick, and yeah, I found out what the insides of a Portuguese Man O’ War smelled like, as did everyone else within a quarter mile downwind.

When the floating-gasbag idiot-animal washes up on shore and dies, it takes the other idiot-animals with him, and they can’t do anything about it because their free ride is over. Such is the life of a sycophant.

________________________

Okay, bear with me on this next one. Remember the classic 1959-1973 TV show “Bonanza?”  Here’s The instrumental TV theme (with opening credits).

The missus informed me that there were words to that great theme, and she’s right. The closing credits for the early episodes included “The Cartwrights” singing the theme (after apparently stumbling out of a saloon/cat house joint venture in Carson City) and mounting up to pick fights with and wreak havoc on the local populace before they rode back to their fortified enclave known as The Ponderosa:

[Little Joe] I’ve got a flair for women everywhere, Bonanza!
[Hoss] BONANZA! ¡AI-AI-AI!
[All] I’m gonna call on any gal at all, she’s gonna welcome me.

[Ben] I’m not afraid of any pretty maid, Bonanza!
BONANZA!
When I give a kiss to any pretty miss,
She’ll learn a lot from me!

[All] One for four, four for one
This we guarantee!

We got a right to pick a little fight – Bonanza!
BONANZA!
If anyone fights any one of us,
He’s gotta fight with me!

BTW, the best comment on that Utoobage link was posted by someone named 75yellowraven:

“144-441 what does that mean?”

The lyrics and acting were so laughably absurd that the clip was canned. Years later Lorne Greene sang the song with much different lyrics: Lorne Greene singing The Theme To Bonanza.

________________________

But that’s not the weird part. The Bonanza Theme was orchestrated by David Rose, same guy who composed “The Stripper,” a number of TV theme songs, and this horrible piece of 1960s grocery aisle music:

Bet you couldn’t last the whole two-point-five minutes of that, so here’s almost a whole hour of The Beat Farmers circa 1984, featuring the late Country Dick Montana on drums, vocals, beer and belligerence.

Hope that grabs on, holds and squeezes you for this edition of The Saturday Matinee. Have a great weekend, even if you have to mow the snow.

P.S. If you ever wanted to sing along to The Chips‘ “Rubber Biscuit” we’ve got the Complete & Accurate day down sum wanna jigga-wah lyrics here.


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