Author: Bunk Strutts

Boogah Boogah.

Go to the Head of the Class

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“Look! Out in the water! It’s a duck! It’s a boat! It’s a sauna! It’s a floating summer cottage!” No you fools. It’s MallardMan.

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Fin-duck is powered by an outboard motor. The driver’s place is in the head of the “duck”, where a chair can be put into position when someone sits there. On the back of the “duck” one can take sun. Eight persons can sit in front of a fireplace. In the sauna fits four persons.

Measurements:
Length 5,5 m
With 2,8 m
Height 3,2 m
Height in saloon 195 cm
Draught 25 cm
Weight 900 kg
Speed about 5 knots
Equipment:
Outboard motor 15 hv
Fireplace
Sauna and shower
Toilet and hand basin
Kitchen with a sink and a refrigerator

I can hear it now:
“Honey, when are we gonna get underway?”
“Any minute dear. But first I have to go to the head.”

Then there’s this lovely lair of leisure:

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“Wellness Skull” by Atelier Van Lieshout. Like Wellness centers it has a few places to relax. In the neck of the skull is a small bath. The head of the Skull contains a sauna.

If you say so. Like I really need to go to the head to relax. Then I find that it’s full of warm water, just like I thought. I can hear it now:
“Honey, you need to relax.”
“I’ll relax after I go to the head! Is that okay with you, DEAR?!”

Meanwhile, I Love Lucy:

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Lucy the Elephant is an American Treasure. I can hear it now:
“Honey, there’s no sauna in there! Why are you running?”
“Get outta my way, dear! I’ve gotta go to the head!”

[Images with indented commentary from here, here and here.]

Wax Paper Not Needed

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[Image from here.]

Another Great Gift Idea: Rubik’s Primers

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Bet your friend that after he scrambles the puzzle, that you can get the green side on the bottom and the red side on the top in less than 10 seconds. Hints on how to do this and other feats of amazement are included in the booklet (included for $1.00 extra).

[Image from NoPuedoCreer.]

Vincent Lamouroux’s Contribution to the World: The Pentacycle

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According to the source:

“The »Pentacycle« (2002) is a vehicle constructed specifically for the abandoned railway Aérotrain near Orléans built in the seventies. By Vincent Lamouroux.”

Needs bigger gearing, glasspacks, cheater slicks with baby moons, a place to stash some beer, oh yeah and a seat with a second seat for a big bad mama with tattoos. I’d ride it, knowing that nothing is gonna be coming the other way for miles except the only other Pentacycle in the universe… And if my Pentacycle was equipped the way it oughta be, I’d laugh and make him swerve.

Too bad Lamouroux’ website is so artsy-fartsy, but it’s still kinda interesting.

[Image and caption from VVORK.]

Saturday Matinee: Animals + Tobacco Road = ?

This video, related to yesterday’s monkey taunting .gif post, is better with the sound off.

On the other hand, this video, that’s been around for a while is still amazing, and better with the sound up.

More Animals. Here’s Eric Burdon (from Newcastle-upon-Tyne, England) with “Tobacco Road” from1966(?).

Okay, I meant here’s the Nashville Teens (from Weybridge, Surrey, England) with “Tobacco Road” from 1964. Drummer Barry Jenkins joined the Animals in 1966.

Okay, I really meant, here’s the Edgar Winter Band (from Beaumont, Texas, England) with “Tobacco Road” from 1974(?).

Okay, what I really, really meant is: here’s Lou Rawls (from Chicago, England) with “Tobacco Road,” first recorded in 1963.

Enough animalia with nicotiana rural routes for now. Come back tomorrow for more fun.

The .Gif Friday Post 25 – Monk Be Nimble

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Dude, that’s so not cool.

[Animated .gif from here.]

RA

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Standing on the cork of the universe.

[Image from here.]

Another Great Gift Idea: Pie Face

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Lookout Chess! Here’s a true game of strategy. Just like “Connect One,” it all has to do with the preparation. Like it says on the box, “It’s the most fun-filled action GAME you’ve ever played,” with “you’ve” meaning all four of you.

[Found on Rockhopper… Thanx Dan.]

George Jenk’s Contribution to the World

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In 1949, George Jenks patented this apparatus “for ultimate attainment of an ideal golf swing.”

According to a duffer friend of Bunk’s, the game was named “Golf” because the English vulgar vernacular term for copulation was already taken.

Without access to the Jenks’ Patent description, it is intuitively obvious to the casual observer that Part No. 168 delivers either compressed Nitrous Oxide or beer from Cylinder 173 to regulator Part 167 and directly to the brain housed by Part No. 160, and if the subsequent motion of the golf club Part C does not please Assembly V, a painful shock to the student’s torso is conducted through Part 90 via Parts Nos. 93.

As brutal as it seems, it works. Only one golfer since 1949 has succeeded in mastering the rigors of this training, and his initials are Tiger Woods.

[Image with indented caption from Futility Closet.]

Hoogerbrugge Stickers

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This is important. Han Hoogerbrugge has never offered such surreal artwork at such an affordable price. He is selling his stickers for the new low low price of their worth.

But before you write this off as just another tacky plug for another more profitable operation, check out Hoogerbrugge’s website first. Years ago when Bunk was still a dialupper, he’d wait patiently for Hotel episodes to load, as he did for the excellent “Nails” series of animations.

HH’s work is surreal: amazing, amusing and disturbing, all at the same time. He’s the Ken Nordine of the Internet.

[UPDATE: Welcome Grow-A-Brain readers. Help yourselves to whatever isn’t nailed down. –Bunk]