All it took to send them into rebellion was one innocuous comment.
“Hey Bob! Bob Oso! Y’all truckin’ Granny Smith again?” The Jonagolds had had enough.
[Related post here.]
Category: Bizarre
Rock Candy
Look here. Bunk knows peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and you, Reese, are no peanut butter and banana sandwich maker.
What young Bunky liked better were peanut butter and sweet pickle sandwiches, combining the flavor of Jif with the crunch of baby gerkins. And vice versa.
Fortunately, Reese acknowleged that these bastardized confections have artificial flavor, so you can rest assured that it doesn’t taste exactly like the King. They made up for the chicanery by labeling the bag, “Collector Edition,” thus snagging all the compulsive candy-collectors investors hoping to score big bucks months or years from now in the Reese’s Cups futures market.
So just how many bags do you have stashed away in your safe deposit box?
[Image from Bockety.]
Rubber (Duckies) Soul
Neatorama is amazing. Their crack team of webminers found Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues recast as Rubber Duckies. Made me wanna take a warm bath with an 8-track player nearby belting out Sam and Dave’s Greatest Hits…
Until I followed the Neatorama link and found this:
“Ah Pity Da Foo Who Don’t Lather, Rinse, Repeat!”
No way am I getting wet with Mr. T unless it’s raining. Other excellent Mr. T accouterments may be found here, here, and especially here.
Related Rubber Duckie report from the world-renowned Strutts News Services may be found here, and for you afficionados, more specific duck info here.
And Bunk just broke his own record for most links in a single post. G’head and click on ’em, but be back here in time for dessert, okay?
FootballBeerFootballBeerFootballBathroomFootballBeeretc.
Beer lobe’s missing.
[Image found here as a big ‘ol honkin’ bitmap. Good thing I fixed it for you dia-luppers.]
Saturday Matinee: Free Cash
There are several things that are just not right with this video, and Johnny Cash is not one of them.
1. I found it on an Aussie website.
2. He’s on the Muppet Show. The muppets do not deserve to be in the presence of the Man In Black, even if Jim Henson is dead, too.
3. Mr. Cash doesn’t play guitar on the clip, only harmonica, and he had to bring two of them.
4. There are Disney Channel Mouse droppings on the lower left hand corner of the Utoobage.
“HEEERE’S JOHNNY!” from 1959 with some serious chord modulation, and few folks could sing it. (Earl Scruggs did, but that’s another post.) Released in September 1956/Sun Records, made it to number 17 on the charts.
This one from San Quentin. Released in July1969/Columbia Records, made it to number 2 on the charts.
From Joel Whitburn’s “Top Pop Singles 1955-1999” there’s this:
“Born on 2/26/32 in Kingsland, Arkansas. Brother Roy led the Dixie Rhythm Ramblers band in late 1940’s. In U.S. Air Force, 1950-54. Formed trio with Luther Perkins (guitar) and Marshall Grant (bass) in 1955. First recorded for Sun in 1955. On Louisiana Hayride and Grand Ole Opry in 1957. Own TV show for ABC from 1969-71. Worked with June Carter from 1961, married her in March 1968. Carl Perkins and The Statler Brothers were members of his touring troupe from 1968-75. Ranks within the top three male vocalists of the Country charts. Charted 136 Country hits, 1955-98. Daughter Rosanne Cash and step daughter Carlene Carter had successful singing careers. Elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1980. Won Grammy’s Living Legends Award in 1990. Guested on many TV shows. Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1992.”
RIP J.C.
The .Gif Friday Post No. 22 – What’s Wrong With This Picture?
Try to find at least three things wrong with this picture. Leave your best guesses in the comments section, and I’ll post the correct answers on next week’s .gif Friday Post.
No hints and no cheating. Don’t be fooled… it’s tougher than you think. Ready, set, GO!
[More odd .gif animations here.]
Everybody picked on Bob.
Arrow Shirts had been mocking Bob mercilessly since elementary school, and they decided to get one last jab at him with this ad. Bob kept wishing that Arrow Shirts would stop thinking about him and just leave him alone.
Epilogue:
Bob is now CEO of MetaInfrared International, married Miss Amazon 1995, has four kids.
Paul graduated from Ball State with an associate degree in geology, and balances tires at a Goodyear store in Indianapolis, married and divorced three times, raises and trains rottweilers.
Steve, well let’s just say he did some really really bad things, and won’t be eligible for parole until he’s about 270 years old.
[Image from here.]
Sentient Kangaroo Leaves Australia After Reading About Recent Election Results, Heads for Samoa
[Images from here.]
Babe Magnet: JETSTREAM!
Amazing. What attention to detail. Not only does he have the Jetstream airbrushed via spraypaint, masked it to overlap the brakelight assembly, he has at least two “starbursts” that serve to make this humperwagon shine! Since the shocks are broken, when dweebness drives over speed bumps at 30mph, the Jetstream paint job appears to be straight. Way cool.
Now you might think that the sloppy masking job on the door trim was an accident, but it’s just another subliminal signal to the high school hotties that “Yeah, I gotta hot sled here, but I’m a down-to-earth-kinda guy.”
And just to push that subtle point, there’s the Christmas Tree air freshener with mooneyes hanging on the rearview mirror, visible just to the right of the bone-marrow red front post that accents the antenna. (“Oooh! A four-door! My dad says I can go if my brothers can come along, K?”)
But here’s the BEST PART: The Governor of Dorkland advertises his responsible side to the future recipient of a romantic afternoon date at Arby’s by upending his spray can to clear the nozzle, thus creating three little octopi on the rear post. Pure efficient genius.
Mr. Aerosol, thank you for photographing it so nicely, and for posting it on the internest for our dropped-jaw amazement. And your cassette of RamJam’s greatest hit? It’s in the glove compartment under the used handiwipes with a raisin stuck to it.
Over the River and Through the Woods…
Snohomish, WA (Strutts News Services) – Renown whitewater daredevil William “Billy” Bear, holder of the Guinness World Record as the fastest kayak paddler, was approached by stunt promoter Robert “Bobby” Bieber in Bear’s favorite pub, “Sandy’s Roadkill Bar and Grille” on 1st Street in downtown Snohomish Thursday.
Bieber suggested an air-paddling exhibition across New Mexico’s Brazos River. Bear’s custom kayak had been damaged during his whitewater run through Snake River Canyon in October, and he was irritated at the proposal. But Bieber persisted, and Bear, after accepting the wager, agreed to rent one just for the stunt.
Weather was clear and the wind was steady as Bear launched his kayak off the cliff 75 feet above the churning rapids. Bear paddled furiously.
Fortunately for Bear, the canyon provided a lift, as the steady wind above became a gale below in the crevasse, allowing Bear to glide safely to the far side of the river, upwind and unharmed.
News In Brief: Bobby Bieber befriended belligerent Billy Bear, bargained bet (beaucoup bucks, bro). Bear balked, but Bieber bought Bear bourbon. Brave Billy borrowed boat before barely but buoyantly breaching Brazos. Bravo, Billy!
[Nope, not photoshopped. The guy is really in the air. Image via Professor Paddle.
Unrelated Brazos River Authority headline, “BRA SNAGS RUNAWAY DOCK” here.]
Tacky Raccoons 