Category: Bizarre

Cubism Carbism

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Paris, France (Strutts News Services) – French automaker Citroën unveiled its latest line of economy vehicles on Thursday, named the “Picasso Series.”

Famous for providing inexpensive reliable transportation for France’s large peasant population following WWII, they have now moved forward into the Cubist Design movement of the 1920’s as they unveiled the latest in a successful line of popular automobiles.

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Chief Industrial Design Engineer Evi Poignée-Bouton de Porte (photo above ca.1994) remarked, “The Picasso design, it is timeless. It shall continue to inspire all well into the Winter.”

[Both photos via No Puedo Creer, an excellent site. In English, it translates to “I Can’t Believe It!” ]

Pirates Attack Venice with Rabbit

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Venice, Italy (Strutts News Services) – Pirates mounted an attack on this historical port Thursday. In classic Piratese, the invaders hollered “Avast ye scalawags! Scuttle yer dragoons! Behold the Cuniculus of Doom! Arrrggh!” as they piloted toward their conquest of the City of Wet and opened fire.

Once the battle was underway, Cap’m Pomello di Porta, with eye patch, peg leg and parrot, retreated to the foc’s’l. “All ye lobsconses hae control. I’m goin’ below to play wit me byrd.”

52 cannon shots peppered the vicinity with what locals described as “magenta e fuscia rabbiti pellettis.”

No one was injured, no one walked the plank, and the pirates were captured and mocked mercilessly by German tourists. A massive Hassenpfeffer was prepared for the victory celebration.

[Full story with video and music here, via Hanuman.]

Beware of the TV Police

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You can’t hide them from us because we know you have them. You can’t keep them turned off forever. Resistance is futile.

[Photo source unknown.]

Sing I Fungi

Looks a lot like “Make My People Sing.” Sort of. You can search for Bunk’s minimalist contributions on that mildly amusing annoying site. The little tads will like it.

(Photo is from an excellent photo compilation website site with the initials DRB, but I’ve contracted the same dloader trojan twice from there, on two separate unconnected computers, and I won’t visit it again. I can’t prove it, but the infections I got are beyond coincidence for me. The trojan is nasty and hard to get rid of. You’re on your own. –Bunk)

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 2

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Nuclear Retractable Reciprocating Directional Pop-Up Sprinkler Head With State of the Art Fully Adjustable Hose Clamps Passes Tests !

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No other explanation necessary, and they should be hitting the market soon. You won’t find this in the MainStreamMedia.

(Photo link lost due to global warming. We’ll repost & credit the source when we find it. Honest.)

UPDATE:  Here be the source.

Mower Breeder

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The young ones always follow their mother. Obviously he’s breeding, raising and training them somewhere in Port Huron, and I bet he gets big bucks for every trained thoroughbred mower, too.

(Photo from Port Huron Times Herald, via OMGPlasticJesus.)

TEMPERATURES INCREASE AROUND GLOBE

Globe, AZ (Strutts News Services) – According to one reputable source, TWC, Global temperatures are expected to increase as much as 26 degrees fahrenheit tomorrow, but should cool off later in the day. One local business owner isn’t happy.

Collie Davis of “Globe Industries” bemoans the extreme heat fluctuations. “We specialize in manufacturing garden gnomes. They come in many earth-tone colors, but this temperature shift has turned our entire stock to lobster red. Red Gnomes are ugly and just plain stupid!”

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Johan VanDinck, spokesgnome for URG (Union of Red Gnomes), threatened a mass walkout unless Davis retracts his statement. “There ain’t gonna be no Christmas until we settle this.”

Ongoing story is heating up; news here as it happens. Photo via Variant.

TGIF: The .gif Friday Night Post I

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Sources for .gif files like this are generally unknown to me, and I’ve been collecting them for years. No copyright infringement is intended, etc., etc. These can be found all over the internest, if you know where to look. – Bunk

Didymo = Rock Snot

Your Town, This Planet (Strutts News Services) –
No, we’re not talking about punk or rap music here. Rock Snot is real. Be afraid.

From CSM: “In the late 1980s, a freshwater alga began mysteriously blooming in the rivers of Vancouver, British Columbia, covering once-pristine riverbeds with a thick, woolly mat. Dubbed “rock snot” for its yellowish color and globular form…”

From AP via MSNBC: “It looks like a clump of soiled sheep’s wool, a cottony green or white mass that’s turning up on rocks and river bottoms, snarling waterways.”

From SNS: “Janessa Vapors, a nineteenth-grader at the Institute for Apocalyptic Studies at the University of Social Engineering, Placerville, California states, ‘Global Warming is not the problem, but Rock Snot is a real threat. We’ve got to find a way to harvest it and process it into food. Theoretically, if everyone on this planet ate a pound of it a day, the equivalent of 10,337 cars would be taken off the road; I’ve run the numbers. We’ve got to start now to solve this crisis, but we need more government funding.'”

If you want to keep Rock Snot from proliferating, quit messing with it and eat it. I don’t know about you, but I’m already packing to leave before it gets me, just in case, and I suggest you do the same.

All photos and quotes are from embedded links above.