Category: Humor

George Jenk’s Contribution to the World

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In 1949, George Jenks patented this apparatus “for ultimate attainment of an ideal golf swing.”

According to a duffer friend of Bunk’s, the game was named “Golf” because the English vulgar vernacular term for copulation was already taken.

Without access to the Jenks’ Patent description, it is intuitively obvious to the casual observer that Part No. 168 delivers either compressed Nitrous Oxide or beer from Cylinder 173 to regulator Part 167 and directly to the brain housed by Part No. 160, and if the subsequent motion of the golf club Part C does not please Assembly V, a painful shock to the student’s torso is conducted through Part 90 via Parts Nos. 93.

As brutal as it seems, it works. Only one golfer since 1949 has succeeded in mastering the rigors of this training, and his initials are Tiger Woods.

[Image with indented caption from Futility Closet.]

Hoogerbrugge Stickers

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This is important. Han Hoogerbrugge has never offered such surreal artwork at such an affordable price. He is selling his stickers for the new low low price of their worth.

But before you write this off as just another tacky plug for another more profitable operation, check out Hoogerbrugge’s website first. Years ago when Bunk was still a dialupper, he’d wait patiently for Hotel episodes to load, as he did for the excellent “Nails” series of animations.

HH’s work is surreal: amazing, amusing and disturbing, all at the same time. He’s the Ken Nordine of the Internet.

[UPDATE: Welcome Grow-A-Brain readers. Help yourselves to whatever isn’t nailed down. –Bunk]

The .Gif Friday Post No. 24 – Hello Dali

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Time flies. In this case, ants and mustaches do, too.

[Image from NoPuedoCreer.]

I Heart You

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[Images from here, here , here, here, etc. Candy generator here.]

Secret Pringles Formula

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Here’s the super-secret formula: x2+y2z+z3=0
So easy! Now you can make your own!

After you’ve made a few dozen, stack ’em up, put ’em in a can, and they should look like this:

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[Formula found here. 2nd image from here.]

Find Three or More Things Wrong with This.

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Study this photo closely, folks. It’s not as easy as it looks, and looks can be very deceiving. Leave your best guesses in the comments section below. Or not. Loyal readers of TackyRaccoons are notorious for not posting comments (except for you 3 or 4 who do) so I’ll help you out.

1. The color is all wrong. The baboso on the left should have white shorts on.

2. They’re all drinking bottle beer. This is a no-no in a pool area, as glass can break and you won’t see the shards until you sit on them and your buddy has to pick ’em out with tweezers.

3. The table isn’t stable. Those top-heavy all purpose garage-sale dealies are unstable on dry land, let alone in a pool.

4. Tan lines. No one who lives in the region where this photo was taken has the word “sun” in their lexicon. (Photo was taken outside of Minsk. Or maybe Cleveland.)

5. Their music really sucks. It’s obvious that these three (yes, three… see the hand on the right?) are rocking out to Cindy Lauper’s Greatest Hits Volume 4, on a bootlegged cassette tape.

6. Because the “pool” is obviously located on a hillside, the water should’ve run out long before the three boobs got in.

7. The photo was taken at 3PM. That’s night in the Ukraine.

I think I nailed most of them. Notice other wrong things? Go for it.

[Image from here.]

(I Can Has Cheezburger?)

Um…

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Ah, um…

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Bunk can tolerate microwaved frozen sliders, and experienced the joys of igde pshat and the Habañero, but I have to draw the line at this canned delicacy. For now.

[Story found here. Image found via link. Original story, um, I dunno. Maybe here. In English or Spanish, it’s still wrong.]

Saturday Matinee: Jimmy Stewart to Jimi Hendrix

Bunk’s jaw dropped when his daughter Seraphina Strutts presented this excellent find from the Utoobage, and said, “I don’t know if you’ll like this, Dad, but Mom laughed her Hasselhoff.”

Bunk likes it, especially the mashup between 1938’s “You Can’t Take It With You” and the 5 Discs’ 1962 recording of “Never Let You Go.”

And speaking of the music of 1962, here’s music from 1964: Joey Dee and the Starlighters, limp-sinking a medley of their greatest hit. Joey’s head is huge in this video while the guy on the right looks like a pinhead. Must be a result of early video lens distortion. [Mr. Dee has a delightfully awful website here.] When I was a teenager, I found his album “Live at the Peppermint Lounge” at a garage sale. All the songs sound like this one, kinda like a pre-Ramones formula. (Papa Strutts once categorized it as “all drums and lights.”)

As sappy as this sounds, Joey Dee and the Starlighters had some serious connections to future rock n roll heavyweights. From Wikipedia:

“…the most famous lineup of Joey Dee and The Starliters is considered to be Joey Dee, David Brigati, Larry Vernieri (vocals), Carlton Lattimore (organ), and Willie Davis (drums). Later members of the touring group would include Eddie Brigati (David’s brother), Gene Cornish, and Felix Cavaliere – three-quarters of The Young Rascals – as well as guitarist Jimmy James (later known as Jimi Hendrix) and Charles Neville of The Neville Brothers.”

And speaking of the music of 1964, here’s an A&E clip about 1966, and James Marshall Hendrix.

Where else but here can you get semi-cognizant linkage between 1938 and 1966?

C’mon Kids! It’s Caterday!

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“Hey Hey We’re the Art Students! Come in watches sing in play! Where de young generation, and we’ve got some awesome yellow catmasks on.” –Micky Dolenz’ first draft for the Monkees Theme, 1964.

[Image from here.]

Paris Hilton: Some Ink Didn’t Make It to her Face

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I honestly thought that we’d moved on from this, but I opened up the “SHOW” section of the OC Register today (8 February 2008) and found Paris… missing some ink. Just hadda post it.