Who says elephants can’t jump. (Don’t bother turning up the sound… just watch it and you’ll hear it, especially if you already have a headache from too many Mondays this week.)
[Standing rules: As with all .gif’s posted here, the original sources have been misplaced, even though I looked behind the couch to find them. Post a comment with the verifiable source(s) and we’ll credit them. –Bunk]
Because I like that one a lot, here’s a bonus.
Otis was a recurring character on the Andy Griffith Show. Otis did not invent the elevator. He invented an automatic braking system so that people wouldn’t fall to their deaths if a pulley or cable broke. His invention allowed the construction of modern day high-rise structures.
Aunt Bea invented the elevator, a shoe insert that allowed her to scold Opie without standing on a chair.
This is a true story (as far as you know).
Killduff, Iowa (Strutts News Services) – When Gerhard and Bonnie Phumph brought their blonde-labrador puppy home four years ago they made a fateful mistake. On a whim, and after a night of fun at D&T’s Tap in nearby Reasnor, they decided to name their new addition to the family “Sitt.” They were unprepared for what happened next.
Mr. Phumph describes the pup fondly. “Sitt was a fast learner. Almost like she was born speaking English… very obedient, too. She even understood the joke, ‘C’mere, Sitt! C’mere, Sitt!’ but I think she just got tired of it.”
However, Mrs. Phumph describes Sitt as “the dog from hades. Chewed up the whole darn porch couch. I’d had enough and told her to go to H-E-double hockey sticks.”
Sitt obeyed as always, found the shortest route, and dug a 30-inch diameter hole in the middle of Farm Route 57 near Sully. She hasn’t been heard from since, but is expected to emerge somewhere near Trona California by next April.
SNS newscameras will be there when it happens.
[Source: Pedigree dog food advert. Actual source for the original advertisement is unknown, but at least we credited the company.]
Venice, Italy (Strutts News Services) – Pirates mounted an attack on this historical port Thursday. In classic Piratese, the invaders hollered “Avast ye scalawags! Scuttle yer dragoons! Behold the Cuniculus of Doom! Arrrggh!” as they piloted toward their conquest of the City of Wet and opened fire.
Once the battle was underway, Cap’m Pomello di Porta, with eye patch, peg leg and parrot, retreated to the foc’s’l. “All ye lobsconses hae control. I’m goin’ below to play wit me byrd.”
52 cannon shots peppered the vicinity with what locals described as “magenta e fuscia rabbiti pellettis.”
No one was injured, no one walked the plank, and the pirates were captured and mocked mercilessly by German tourists. A massive Hassenpfeffer was prepared for the victory celebration.
You can’t hide them from us because we know you have them. You can’t keep them turned off forever. Resistance is futile.
[Photo source unknown.]
Via Arbroath.
No other explanation necessary, and they should be hitting the market soon. You won’t find this in the MainStreamMedia.
(Photo link lost due to global warming. We’ll repost & credit the source when we find it. Honest.)
UPDATE: Here be the source.
The young ones always follow their mother. Obviously he’s breeding, raising and training them somewhere in Port Huron, and I bet he gets big bucks for every trained thoroughbred mower, too.
(Photo from Port Huron Times Herald, via OMGPlasticJesus.)
Tacky Raccoons 
