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U.S. Homeland Security Breach Thwarted

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Douglas, AZ (Strutts News Services) — For the first time in recent memory, the U.S. government released details of the Homeland Security Virtual Border Fence in action. The virtual barrier was put to the test Thursday.

Two illegal aliens people lacking U.S. citizenship, attempted a breach before sunrise, but were stopped by the invisible barrier. They were arrested after breakfast, and released before lunch. At 4:33PM, they made their third and boldest attempt to cross, raising fists, with swords made of fomecore and acrylic paint.

Sister Starfire and husband Tor eluded authorities for several seconds before the “Virtual Screen Door” slammed shut right in their faces. Both were taken into custody again, and were sent to bed without supper.

U.S. Border Patrol Agent Collie Davis described the capture. “They didn’t look hispanic, and they both spoke fluent English. They kinda stood out, so we arrested them.”

Tor’s only comment: “I lost the Blue Orb of Power on my orc crusher. Otherwise, we would have made it. Can we get deported back to Eccleshall?”

Film at 11. Or not.

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