Whoa. Time flies. I remember that night vividly.
This .gif shows why we earthlings can see more than half of our moon’s surface. (The moon wobbles in its orbit.)
[Source of that excellent .gif cue ball roll is via NASA.]
Category: Not News
How to Create “Man-Made” Global Warming
Step 1: Get a weather data station.
Step 2: Verify that it accurately records temperatures in the immediate vicinity.
Step 3: Locate it in an area that will drastically skew the temperature readings.
Step 4: Burn your trash in a nearby incinerator and laugh and laugh and laugh while polluting the atmosphere. (For more fun, locate it near an airconditioning compressor and/or clothes dryer vent, and make sure your barbeque grille is close, too.)
Step 5: Transmit the data collected to advocates of the “man-made” Global Warming theory.
Step 6: Deny any and all data anomalies.
Step 7: Apply for a government (i.e., taxpayer-funded) grant and get paid for further study.
[Originally saw this photo in a report on global warming fallacies, written by a girl in Junior High School. She surveyed weather data collectors in her area and found that a large number were set up in odd locations, like asphalt parking lots, adjacent to exhaust fans, etc. I cannot find the original story/link, so if any readers can help, I’ll post it here with credit.]
Tacky Raccoons Considers a New Feature!
After convening uncovening the Board of Supervisors here at TR Central, the decision was unanimous. After this coming Sunday, post, TackyRaccoons will may start posting
“AXE BUNKY“
as a new weekly feature, scheduled to appear every Sunday morning. occasionally. Our intention is to provide helpful questionable advice for all some maybe just a couple of our readers on any topic. Questions may be dumped in Bunk’s lap at forwarded to bunkstrutts@verizon.net, or posted below in the response section. We’ll collect them, chuckle to ourselves, and respond within 24 hours in a future post.
Forward your question(s), include your first name only, your city and state/province/country, and we’ll see how it goes. No email addresses or actual names shall be posted, so it’s all anonymous, and all in fun.
TR reserves the right to accept or reject any submissions, and to edit them, or not. There is no implied guarantee that any submittal will be used in future posts. Email a self-addressed stamped envelope if you want your submittal to be returned unused so you may forward it to another site.
[Image from here. Apparently it’s an early French typewriter, odd in that the typist couldn’t see what was typed until the page was removed and turned over. Minor design flaw. Kinda like this post.]
Washington D.C. Protest Changes the Course of Something
Washington, D.C. (Strutts News Services) – About 62 lifelong members of the CCTF (Clan of the Cheeto Task Force) arrived in Washington D.C. on Thursday to demonstrate for the right to eat puffed corn-based products known to have very little nutritional value, but that taste so good you could eat a bag in an hour.
In lieu of conspicuous consumption, the CCTF protesters dressed as actual human-sized cheetos, and in lifelike realism, withered row-by-row in the steady rain just to make their point.
When asked about that point, organizer Robert “Bobby” Bieber stated that the production of the cheese flavored junk food is under attack by the pro-ethanol lobby.
“They want to take our corn away! They want to take our trans-fats away! They want to take our fluorescent orange powdery stuff that tastes kinda like cheese away! Are you blind, man?!”
As the rain fell steadily, and the “cheetos” eroded in a natural fashion, the protest disbanded by 4PM due to a severe outbreak of the munchies.
Bunk Speaks
Folks,
We’ve noticed a few broken links on past posts. If any of you happen to notice videos that don’t play, images that don’t load, lettuce know, and we’ll do our best to fix ’em. YouTube is kinda notorious for pulling videos, and if they yank ’em, we won’t know unless you tell us. Leave a comment on the post with the damaged linkage and we’ll give it a bandage, because, after all, readers of TackyRaccoons visit this site for perfection, and you rock.
Bunk
P.S. TackyRacoons made it past the first cut for January at www.iblogcup.com. 2nd elimination round is going on so vote once a day, but only if you really want to. Maybe we’ll win a cupcake or something. If so, we’ll share it with you because we like to share. It’s just the way we are. Sometimes.
[UPDATE: Tacky Raccoons came in 4th place in January, but there were apparently some shenanigans going on according to the webmaster. Sorry, no cupcake.]
Caption Contest Finalists: What You’ve All Been Waiting For!
The number of responses we received for our very last Caption Contest was overwhelming, approximately 200% over our initial estimate! What a turnout!
We said we would do something with the entries, and since a prize was promised, it just wouldn’t be right to delete the post entirely. After several minutes of careful analysis and consideration, we decided to select the best of the top four captions as randomly as possible. So here are the candidates, in alphabotanical odor:
1. Dan: “The tread of the slipper was also very odd…”
2. Diesel: “After many setbacks, in 2008 the Boeing Corporation released the first fully functional hovercat.”
3. DUDR_1: “Next stop, CAT LAND!!!”
4. Finicky Penguin: “They knew he was up to something when he glued the cat to the 1-way mirror.”
Through the magic of computer technology, and rather than conduct a poll, we decided to use the random password generator to make the final decision. The first numeral, either 1, 2, 3 or 4, that appears in the first random password is the official winner. The prize is a password to download free cool stuff. So here we go:
e!jh'(}cC13R>Lk4″(H7zGZjF#uwCFVd6k6EH*$tmy3y(H|9uxLdXU70/X/%zUA
As candidate No. 1, Dan is the official winner of the password that allows him to download the coveted Free Cool Stuff and to rock out with bragging rights forevermore! God are we glad this is over with. And, Dan, the TR Grand Prize Van should be arriving at your driveway sometime after midnight tonight to personally deliver your password. Wait at the curb and wear a red carnation. We’ll see you there!
Front-Running Candidates for President of the U.S. Debate Their Own Presidentialityness
New Hampshire, CA – (Strutts News Services)
Four Democrat U.S. Presidential hopefulls gathered tonight to discuss platitudes on nationwide television, and each arrived with trainers to keep them from attacking each other. (Senator Ed Norton was not present for this pre-debate photo op, but was recognized during the live video as someone else entirely.)
The first question from moderator Lannie Foosers set the stage for the remainder of the so-called debate. The question itself didn’t matter, as the answer for that one and all subsequent questions was, “I will fight for change and am prepared to agree with all who disagree with my nomination, and the current administration is at fault for that, and what you said as well.”
Prior to the Democrat “debate” was the Republican “debate.” Candidate Ron Paul began the discussion before tape started rolling with, “Where is he? Obama was supposed to be here!”
The other Republican candidates all answered with, “You Fool! Of course we support the troops, and we’ll buy them lunch!” before moderator Lannie Foosers asked them each to attack Senator Obama on behalf of Senator Mrs. Bill Clinton.
We can all thank the writer’s strike for this absurd waste of network time. If Bunk was in charge, we’d be watching re-runs of The Prisoner with Patrick McGoohan instead.
[Top image from here, lower image picked off a page of the .pdf file linked from here.]
Saturday Matinee: The Gullible and the Hustlers
Penn & Teller are national treasures, and I’d post more from their cable show (“That’s B.S.“) except for some unnecessary language. This one has “a-h” in it, but otherwise it’s a great example of how gullible some folks can be. [More information about the dangerous substance described in the video may be found here.]
This clip’s from the British show “The Real Hustle.” It shows that anyone who even thinks of trying to beat 3-Card Monte is gullible and then some.
Here’s the original Monte, with the same outcome. I suggest if you see these betting scams that you run away quickly… you can lose just by watching. And if you think you’ve got the talent to run the game yourself, your health insurance better be paid up. Harry Anderson’s book “Games You Can’t Lose” is a pretty good exposé of scams like these also.
Lastly, here’s Paul Newman, Jackie Gleason, George C. Scott, in 1961’s “The Hustler.”
P.S. If you thought you were gonna hear “The Hustle” on this website, well, um, you can find that annoying song on your own.
[The Caption Contest is still open. And TackyRaccons was nominated for the iBlogCup again for January. Vote for the underdogs, and vote for TR here.]
NG Almost Picks Up Strutts News Services Story
Zanesville, Ohio (Strutts News Services) –
This month’s issue of the National Geographic was originally designed to feature the award-winning photo and story of the herd of captured Indricotheria, as first reported to TRITE (TackyRaccoons Investigation Team East, Strutts News Services) by doctoral candidates Mr. Lannie Foosers and Ms. Toonci Crumbler of the Cerro Gordo Oceanic Institute on this very website.
Foosers and Crumbler were all jumpy and jivey excited until they discovered that their ground-breaking contribution was neither acknowleged by National Geographic Magazine, nor was the story with the now-famous accompanying photo even published.
NatGeo Senior Apprentice-Editor-In-Training Bob “Bobby” Bieber explained his decision to spike the story. “The claims in the full-page NexLoid Chromioplasty advertisement were easier to confirm, so we shelved the Indricotheria blurb for now.”
[Okay, okay… NatGeo cover is from MagMyPic, and then I messed with it just a little. Still missing the original source for the original photo of the Indricotheria.]
International Blog Cup “Competition” Results
I know all of you were waiting with bait-breath to find out if Tacky Raccoons made the first round cut in the “International Blog Cup” competition. We didn’t, even though I, Bunk, voted for myself twice each day for a week.
On the plus side, TR won well over 48% of the votes against a dopey music video advertisement website that takes no talent to post. Bill Clinton got elected President by a smaller percentage. Bunky regards the loss as a bittersweet victory.
34 to 32 is the final count, and TR conceded to our worthy opponent last night at about 11:55PM. 34 votes for our worthy opponent equals only five people who voted each day for a week and who like music videos posted on a bland website that gets it’s material solely from YouTube, and posted without commentary. Oooh. Beat me, Daddy, Eight to the Bar. Smacked down by a bot.
But we have more fun, don’t we. Heh.
[Image above from Hanuman showing all 32 TR hits. All in fun. –Bunk]
Tacky Raccoons 