Category: Not News

Go to the Head of the Class

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“Look! Out in the water! It’s a duck! It’s a boat! It’s a sauna! It’s a floating summer cottage!” No you fools. It’s MallardMan.

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Fin-duck is powered by an outboard motor. The driver’s place is in the head of the “duck”, where a chair can be put into position when someone sits there. On the back of the “duck” one can take sun. Eight persons can sit in front of a fireplace. In the sauna fits four persons.

Measurements:
Length 5,5 m
With 2,8 m
Height 3,2 m
Height in saloon 195 cm
Draught 25 cm
Weight 900 kg
Speed about 5 knots
Equipment:
Outboard motor 15 hv
Fireplace
Sauna and shower
Toilet and hand basin
Kitchen with a sink and a refrigerator

I can hear it now:
“Honey, when are we gonna get underway?”
“Any minute dear. But first I have to go to the head.”

Then there’s this lovely lair of leisure:

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“Wellness Skull” by Atelier Van Lieshout. Like Wellness centers it has a few places to relax. In the neck of the skull is a small bath. The head of the Skull contains a sauna.

If you say so. Like I really need to go to the head to relax. Then I find that it’s full of warm water, just like I thought. I can hear it now:
“Honey, you need to relax.”
“I’ll relax after I go to the head! Is that okay with you, DEAR?!”

Meanwhile, I Love Lucy:

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Lucy the Elephant is an American Treasure. I can hear it now:
“Honey, there’s no sauna in there! Why are you running?”
“Get outta my way, dear! I’ve gotta go to the head!”

[Images with indented commentary from here, here and here.]

Vincent Lamouroux’s Contribution to the World: The Pentacycle

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According to the source:

“The »Pentacycle« (2002) is a vehicle constructed specifically for the abandoned railway Aérotrain near Orléans built in the seventies. By Vincent Lamouroux.”

Needs bigger gearing, glasspacks, cheater slicks with baby moons, a place to stash some beer, oh yeah and a seat with a second seat for a big bad mama with tattoos. I’d ride it, knowing that nothing is gonna be coming the other way for miles except the only other Pentacycle in the universe… And if my Pentacycle was equipped the way it oughta be, I’d laugh and make him swerve.

Too bad Lamouroux’ website is so artsy-fartsy, but it’s still kinda interesting.

[Image and caption from VVORK.]

Hoogerbrugge Stickers

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This is important. Han Hoogerbrugge has never offered such surreal artwork at such an affordable price. He is selling his stickers for the new low low price of their worth.

But before you write this off as just another tacky plug for another more profitable operation, check out Hoogerbrugge’s website first. Years ago when Bunk was still a dialupper, he’d wait patiently for Hotel episodes to load, as he did for the excellent “Nails” series of animations.

HH’s work is surreal: amazing, amusing and disturbing, all at the same time. He’s the Ken Nordine of the Internet.

[UPDATE: Welcome Grow-A-Brain readers. Help yourselves to whatever isn’t nailed down. –Bunk]

It’s the Fro, Bro.

The late great Billy Preston had one of the greatest FRO‘s of all time. Preston, besides recording some classic ’70s songs (“Nothin’ FROm Nothin’ Leaves Nothin’” and “Outa-Space” and also recorded as the 5th Beatle (or Beatle Number 9, depending on how you count).

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This session musician, with his awesome huge bouncing microphone cover FRO, was a fun keyboard player to watch, especially because his FRO (with sideburns and beard) ran 360 degrees, which reminds me of another Preston hit, “Will It Go Round In Circles.” Actually, it did.

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Now, Roberta Flack‘s FRO was perfect. So perfect in fact that besides her many hit records, (known in the industry as “Flack’s Stacks O’ Wax”) she was the original model for the Arial Font’s “Period,” and was able to spin off a nice bonus profit with her own product line of custom swabs. She must have made tens of dollars with this:

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Chuck Norris (yes, THE CHUCK NORRIS) took notice of Flack’s success, and decided that there was room for improvement in ear hygiene. In May of 1974, he formed NorrisSwabs Inc., and served as SpokesNorris for these:

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(Bonus Chuck Norris Fact:  Chuck Norris doesn’t go to the bathroom.  The bathroom goes to Chuck Norris.)

[Preston image FROm here. Flack’s image with her brand of cotton swabs FROm Fantastical Nonsense. The Patented NorrisEarSwab FROm here. Somewhat related post here.]

Paris Hilton: Some Ink Didn’t Make It to her Face

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I honestly thought that we’d moved on from this, but I opened up the “SHOW” section of the OC Register today (8 February 2008) and found Paris… missing some ink. Just hadda post it.

When Apples Go Bad

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All it took to send them into rebellion was one innocuous comment.

“Hey Bob! Bob Oso! Y’all truckin’ Granny Smith again?” The Jonagolds had had enough.

[Related post here.]

Sentient Kangaroo Leaves Australia After Reading About Recent Election Results, Heads for Samoa

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[Images from here.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 21 – MoonDance

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Whoa. Time flies. I remember that night vividly.

This .gif shows why we earthlings can see more than half of our moon’s surface. (The moon wobbles in its orbit.)

[Source of that excellent .gif cue ball roll is via NASA.]

How to Create “Man-Made” Global Warming

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Step 1: Get a weather data station.

Step 2: Verify that it accurately records temperatures in the immediate vicinity.

Step 3: Locate it in an area that will drastically skew the temperature readings.

Step 4: Burn your trash in a nearby incinerator and laugh and laugh and laugh while polluting the atmosphere. (For more fun, locate it near an airconditioning compressor and/or clothes dryer vent, and make sure your barbeque grille is close, too.)

Step 5: Transmit the data collected to advocates of the “man-made” Global Warming theory.

Step 6: Deny any and all data anomalies.

Step 7: Apply for a government (i.e., taxpayer-funded) grant and get paid for further study.

[Originally saw this photo in a report on global warming fallacies, written by a girl in Junior High School. She surveyed weather data collectors in her area and found that a large number were set up in odd locations, like asphalt parking lots, adjacent to exhaust fans, etc. I cannot find the original story/link, so if any readers can help, I’ll post it here with credit.]

Tacky Raccoons Considers a New Feature!

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After convening uncovening the Board of Supervisors here at TR Central, the decision was unanimous. After this coming Sunday, post, TackyRaccoons will may start posting

“AXE BUNKY“

as a new weekly feature, scheduled to appear every Sunday morning. occasionally. Our intention is to provide helpful questionable advice for all some maybe just a couple of our readers on any topic. Questions may be dumped in Bunk’s lap at forwarded to bunkstrutts@verizon.net, or posted below in the response section. We’ll collect them, chuckle to ourselves, and respond within 24 hours in a future post.

Forward your question(s), include your first name only, your city and state/province/country, and we’ll see how it goes. No email addresses or actual names shall be posted, so it’s all anonymous, and all in fun.

TR reserves the right to accept or reject any submissions, and to edit them, or not. There is no implied guarantee that any submittal will be used in future posts. Email a self-addressed stamped envelope if you want your submittal to be returned unused so you may forward it to another site.

[Image from here. Apparently it’s an early French typewriter, odd in that the typist couldn’t see what was typed until the page was removed and turned over. Minor design flaw.  Kinda like this post.]