This works, as long as the shovels weren’t first used for latrine duty.
Reminds me of hubcap grilles, clothes hanger toast, fish poached in a dishwasher, grilled cheese sandwiches ala steam iron, foil-wrapped stew on the exhaust manifold, BeanieWeenies-in-the-can on a hot plate, electric dryer bacon. (Okay, I made up the last one.)
I’ll have our crack team of webminers find links for the above concoctions asap (unless any of you wanna beat me to it in the comments section).
Ken Nordine… the voice, the guy you’ve heard, but never knew it…
Best of Word Jazz is available on cd via Rhino Records. Ken Nordine’s late 1950’s and early ’60’s work is bizarre. Here’s Bunk’s review [from Amazon] a few years ago:
“Late at night, toss this into your cd player, press pause.
“Turn off the lights.
“Turn on the TV. Turn off the sound. Flip to channel 3…
“Static…
“Hit play attention…
“Ken Nordine is the comforting yet oddly disturbing voice in your head that you try to ignore, but can’t; he’s the Twilight Zone for your ears.”
But don’t take my word for it. The liner notes include this gem of a description:
“Ken Nordine, yea I know that guy. I heard his voice 1000 times, he’s the guy in the bus station that says “go ahead I’ll keep an eye on your stuff for you,” and you see him the next day walking around town wearing your clothes. He broadcasts from the boiler room of the Wilmont Hotel with 50,000 watts of power. I know that voice, he’s the guy with the pitchfork in your head saying go ahead and jump, and he’s the ambulance driver who tells you you’re going to pull thru. He’s the guy in the control tower who talked you down in a storm with a hole in your fuselage and both engines on fire. I heard him barking thru the Rose Alley Carnival strobe as samurai firemen were pulling hose. Yea he’s the dispatcher with the heart of gold, the only guy up this late on the suicide hotline. Ken Nordine is the real angel sitting on the wire in the tangled matrix of cobwebs that holds the whole attic together. Yea Ken Nordine, he’s the switchboard operator at the Taft Hotel, the only place in town you can get a drink at this hour. You know Ken Nordine, he’s the lite in the icebox, he’s the blacksmith on the anvil in your ear.” –Tom Waits, 1990
For some reason, I have this subtle urge to buy 501 Jeans…
Someone (I won’t say who, but his initials are Finicky Penguin) nominated TackyRaccoons for a Blog Competition:
I don’t know what an “International Blog Cup” is. Must have something to do with male sports protection equipment, and it might come in handy if I ever find myself in the middle of some serious Contact Blogging. Visit the site to vote, but only if you really, really want to. If TackyRaccoons wins, I’ll let you know if my suspicions were correct.
A click on the Blog Cup logo takes you to the site. You can vote as many times as you like through the month of December.
[Greetings to iBC visitors. Crawl around here as often as you like, leave crumbs, but don’t go further than August 2007. You might not find your way back and we’ll have to come look for you.
–Bunk]
1. Done gimme no jibbajabba, foo.
2. See Commandment above, foo.
3. Ah pity da foo done unnastan nummas ONE an TWO.
4. Ah done harley wanna touch dis green-shirt-wearin foo. He smell funny. An keep dose joov-nall-matchin-sock-foos behinda fents.
[Excellent album cover find from (the late) Your Daily Awesome. More Mr.T excellence may be found here and here. Oh yeah. Here, too.]
Seems pretty easy to me. All the tools you need are illustrated, including a flat iron, a nipple gauge made from a sassafras twig, a hand grenade, a broken rubber band, some shelves with hats on them, a cat brush, a kybo seat, and a toaster. The other items are optional. Another gift-giving problem solved, courtesy of your friends here at TR.
Of course, if you decide to become a “chapelier” you’ll need a certificate from an approved training center, a qualification test to get licensed, a business license, a conditional use permit for your business location, approval by the EPA, workers compensation and liability insurance, and then the union thugs will prolly shut you down before you produce your first “chapelle” unless you sign up.
I’m goin’ for it. You in?
[Image via Hanuman.]
Yeah, I know those are geese, not ducks. That’s not the point.
It appears that one of my favorite websites, Your Daily Awesome, has turned off its lights for good as of last Tuesday. In respectful memory, here are a handful of my favorite YDA posts, in shout-out fashion, and not in any particular order:
Animaris Rinoceros
Model Railroad Slums
Three Songs by Ledbelly
The Andy Kaufman YouTube Motherlode
The Picture of Everything
Koalas Aren’t Hard They Some Little Bitches
Hidden Messages in Leave It To Beaver
Mingering Mike
Ricky Jay & His Amazing Cards
Many others can be found in the archives. Thanks for all the awesome daily entertainment, Chas. Although I never met you, it still feels the same as if I never had. Here’s to last Wednesday’s yesterday, and we wish you well on your long road ahead.
“Two young Kiwis have put New Zealand on the world map by gaining a Guinness World Record for the world’s largest tape ball. The record tape ball weighs a staggering 53kgs and has a circumference of more than 2.5 metres.”
Even though “Mr. Tape Ball” weighs about 117 pounds, he won’t sit in a car seat and won’t “buckle-up.” Mr. TB has an attitude that I don’t like. Mr. TB doesn’t rock. He rolls, and if I had to stop suddenly, I wouldn’t want his 117 pounds of attitude jamming my temporal, parietal and occipital lobes out through my nose. In other words, don’t expect a ride from me, Mr. TB. I’ll give you a push in a downhill direction, but that’s it.
[Good God. I’ve lost it. I’m talking to a ball of Kiwi tape that I met on the internet, in the back seat of a car that I don’t own.]
————-
The only American entry, from Kent State University, weighed a mere 28 kegs, but was captured on camera as well:
[Top image from Scoop, via here, via GrowaBrain. Bottom image from experience.]
Tessellation generally refers to the distribution of graphic shapes, to fill an endless plane. Think MC Escher. Like you care.
This design, by Ernest Obihara won an award in the 2007 “Tess Competition” sponsored by Pedagoguery Software. Like you care.
Mr. Obihara is in elementary school. Mr. Obihara rocks. And you aren’t worthy to judge. Like I care.
The amazing works of other contest winners can be found at the PS link above.
The Beat Farmers, featuring the late Country Dick Montana singing “Happy Boy.”
A message from the makers of Happy Fun Ball.
Now for our Feature Presentation: “Happy.”
Tacky Raccoons 