Tag: car

“We thought lard and hong about this, son.”

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“Mom and I decided that you can have Aunt Evie’s car after all.”

[Image from somewhere in here.]

Bunk’s Second Ride: Pre-Babe Magnet

Definitely not a babe magnet, but at that age I wasn’t interested and didn’t care.

I remember cruising around a lot in this rockin’ mobile (in my mind, in the basement, in my underwear) with the (imaginary) wind blowing through my flattop, and every station on the (pretend) radio playing either “WipeOut,” “Beechwood4-5789,” or “Witch Doctor.” No commercials.

And I’d completely forgotten about all of that until I slowly cruised through a Russian website.  As soon as I spotted an Original BunkMobile, I jammed my right foot through the cardboard box brake pedal, broke the the toilet plunger dowel that served as an emergency handbrake, and  I spun out on Dead Man’s Curve.  With quick reflexes, I recovered in time to right-click and click “Save Image As.”  No injuries, no damage;  brakes are good, tires fair.

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But that was my second ride.  My first ride was a chrome steel tube framed chair that hooked over the back of the front seat of Poppa Strutt’s 1960 Chevy BelAire.

The red-vinyl seat came equipped with a cloth cinch-belt, a little plastic steering wheel with a horn that Pappa Strutts dismantled before I knew that it was supposed to beep, and absolutely nothing to anchor the car seat to the car.

It was designed so that on an emergency stop, the Lil’ Roadmaster Car Seat launches Lil’ Roadmaster into the rearview mirror to prevent Lil’ Roadmaster’s noggin from penetrating the windshield. Pure efficient genius.

Which brings up a good question:  Why aren’t we all dead?

[Image from here.]

Humor-Blogs.com

Babe (I mean Bitch) Magnet

[Okay, we’re talking about Definition No. 1 in Webster ‘s Unabridged here. This post is about DOGS AND THEIR CARS.]

“Opal, you hot little bitch! We’re off to the frisbee catchin’ competition, so quit yer yappin’ before I nip you in the hindquarters!”

Looks like Bowzer’s already caught one with his canine carriage of love. Gotta load of Cheese-N-Liver flavored MilkBones in the glove compartment, and a case of rawhide chews in the trunk, with Don Charles’ Singing Dogs, Howlin’ Wolf’s Greatest hits, and the full-length version of George Clinton’s “Atomic Dog” for later in the CD Player queue lineup.

Bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay.

[Image from here.]

“I’ve Been Workin’ on the [Babe Magnet] All the Live Long Day…”

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Identical twin brothers Haney and Russ “Harpo” d’Coqueville have come up with an innovative way to save gas by making sure that their ride don’t roll while they transform it into the Babe Magnet they always dreamed of. I can’t identify the model exactly, but it looks like a 1977 Ford POS to me.

Although they aren’t in their official Babe Hunting Garb, Russ and Haney believe they can pull it off (the Babe Magnet transformation, I mean). Russ’ carpentry toolbelt and framing hammer is a not-so-subtle give-away that the finished Babe Magnet will definitely be a work of sump’m, with or without windows.

Film at 11.

[Lost track of this image source, too, and prolly for good reason.]