Tag: car

Captain Oblivious Rides Again

A high-speed drag race. A faulty hood latch. The driver’s view is blocked, and the gaping maw of certain death opens to quench its eternal hunger for blood and souls.

Hurtling through the space-time continuum, warping the laws of physics, a hero arrives in the nick of time.

In possession of unlimited mental powers yet untested, Captain Oblivious wrests the will of the power steering from the speeding vehicle. He laughs in the face of danger. “Ha, ha, ha,” muses Our Hero, as he maneuvers the machine away from peril and toward the relative safety of the raceway’s emergency sand trap.

Unbeknownst to Our Hero, the driver has already panicked. The driver screams as he jams on the brake pedal with both feet, and Captain Oblivious is thrown off at high velocity. Like a watermelon seed pinched between forefinger and thumb, Captain Oblivious is spit from the universe at the speed of whatever. The car slides to a safe stop in the sand.

With his mind swept clean of the memory of recent events, Captain Oblivious finds himself squatting naked in the vapor-ridden 10th dimension, fuzzily pondering his next assignment.

[Image found here; crossposted here.]

Pre-Ignosecond

Lessee. A quick review of the photo tells me that these aren’t physics students, and that there is likely beer involved. At least four people thought that this was a good idea, and there’s a fifth one in the background egging them on who looks just like this.

[Found here.]

The .Gif Friday Post No.151 – Door Pwn, Cat Wreck, Filly Fail

[Found here, here and here.]

The .Gif Friday Post No.141 – Chairman, Huh, Catbox

[From here, here and here.]

Babe Magnet for a Johnson

Whoa. Look what we’ve got here. A gen-u-ine Babe Magnet owned by someone who doesn’t know how to park.  After much deliberation here at TR HQ, the vote was split 6 to 5 in favor of awarding the coveted title of BM to this large scale version of a 12-year old’s customized Revelle model of a 1973 Chevy Impala ragtop. Pure efficient genius.

The question comes down to what type of person would drive such a PullMeOverNow car? A teenager would love it, but that’s unlikely due to the lack of moola factor, and someone in their 30s wouldn’t be seen standing next to it.  Early twenties with some serious expendable cash is as good a guess as any.

Unlike the other Babe Magnets we’ve dissected here, we know who the owner of this Tupperware-lid-wheeled ear of corn is.  Without cheating, try to guess  what he does for a living and how much he makes. Leave your assessment in the comments. The answer with links is below the break. Continue reading “Babe Magnet for a Johnson”

3 Hot Chicks and a Hot Car

Nothing like a little innocuous innuendo in a post title to generate a cheap and sleazy traffic spike.

Speaking of the classic “Hot Rod Lincoln,” here’s the version that was covered by Johnny Bond, that was covered by Roger Miller, that was covered by Commander Cody, that was covered by Asleep At The Wheel:

Charlie Ryan & the Timber Riders hit the charts on 9 May 1960 with “Hot Rod Lincoln” even though it was recorded in 1955. Unfortunately the videonazi bastards prevent embedding it here, so you gotta click to hear it.

[Image from here. Crossposted here.]

Snowmobile

www.newton.acrossthebow.com/cru_data_lgf.pdf

www.newton.acrossthebow.com/harry_read_me.pdf

[Image found in here.]

Oops.

Bummer_A Problem Shared 090822

While combing through  my leftover posts, I found this image of a post-ignosecond from the early 1900s. Can’t make out the make of the vehicle, but apparently the mishap hap’d in Australia.

Given the price of a state-of-the-art vehicle at that time, this was a very expensive oops.

[Found here.]

Just Doing Her Job

RAMCO1_OCR 090922

RAMCO2_OCR 090922

She works for RAMCO. Get it?

“Orange County firefighters responded to a call of an elderly woman driving a Mercury Grand Marquis backing into one garage and then driving into another garage across the driveway …  in San Juan Capistrano Monday morning. No injuries were reported but one of the structures sustained heavy damage.”

I’m not sure what RAMCO manufactures, but if they make garage doors, this would make sense, drumming up business in a slow economy.

[Story and images from here.]

Babe Magnet: Die KlinkerKar

Brick Babe Magnet_Daily Mixed 090520

Very little needs to be said about this brickbat mobile that isn’t intuitively obvious to the casual observer, except that the roof screams for asphalt shingles and vinyl gutters. Aluminum sliding windows would have been a nice touch.  No need for a carwash either, as a vinegar solution with a wire brush should keep the efflorescence in check for months. Pure efficient genius. We’ll even give him credit and kudos for the keystones.

Although he’ll never get a girlfriend built like a brick youknowwhat, at least Mr. Mason knows how to perpendicular park.

[Found here.]