A high-speed drag race. A faulty hood latch. The driver’s view is blocked, and the gaping maw of certain death opens to quench its eternal hunger for blood and souls.
Hurtling through the space-time continuum, warping the laws of physics, a hero arrives in the nick of time.
In possession of unlimited mental powers yet untested, Captain Oblivious wrests the will of the power steering from the speeding vehicle. He laughs in the face of danger. “Ha, ha, ha,” muses Our Hero, as he maneuvers the machine away from peril and toward the relative safety of the raceway’s emergency sand trap.
Unbeknownst to Our Hero, the driver has already panicked. The driver screams as he jams on the brake pedal with both feet, and Captain Oblivious is thrown off at high velocity. Like a watermelon seed pinched between forefinger and thumb, Captain Oblivious is spit from the universe at the speed of whatever. The car slides to a safe stop in the sand.
With his mind swept clean of the memory of recent events, Captain Oblivious finds himself squatting naked in the vapor-ridden 10th dimension, fuzzily pondering his next assignment.
Bet the guy in the green shirt suffers from “Survivor’s Guilt.”
How to do the WubbaWubba Dance.
Dang. Forced to sit between Smiley Guy and Habitual Neck Scratcher, AND caught on camera. I’d be the one sitting behind him flicking peanut shells down his collar.
The laugh track is unfortunate as this dealie is funny by itself. I’ve got no idea what they’re saying. [Found here.]
“On an August morning in 1978, French filmmaker Claude Lelouch mounted a gyro-stabilized camera to the bumper of a Ferrari 275 GTB and had a friend, a professional Formula 1 racer, drive at breakneck speed through the heart of Paris early in the morning . The film was limited for technical reasons to 10 minutes; the course was from Porte Dauphine, through the Louvre, to the Basilica of Sacre Coeur.
“No streets were closed, for Lelouch was unable to obtain a permit. The driver completed the course in about 9 minutes, reaching nearly 140 MPH in some stretches. The footage reveals him running real red lights, nearly hitting real pedestrians, and driving the wrong way up real one-way streets.
“Upon showing the film in public for the first time, Lelouch was arrested. He has never revealed the identity of the driver, and the film went underground.”
[Link and description via email. Apparently it’s been around for a while, but. Tip o’ the tarboosh to Dan S.]
This was my introduction to Tom Waits, via the Eagles, and I hated the Eagles from then on. Looky here:
Ahhh. Yeah. The originals are always the best. Like this one: