Something about the Deity makes me very happy. We invited him over to compare CD collections Saturday. Mine rocks.
[Images from Hanuman.]
Month: October 2008
Bizarre Marketing Concept That Doesn’t Work
The great minds of the marketing department at Volkswagon have come up with this dealie. The idea is that you plug in your picture, and that of your spouse, and it shows you what your offspring will look like, all animated in the back seat of a VW something. Very odd, but here’s the link:
http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/
We at Tacky Raccoons took a test drive on this bizarre concept, just to see how it would run. Here are the results:
Experiment No. 1: Sarah Palin & John McCain
PLUS 
EQUALS
Experiment No. 2: Joe Biden & Barrack Obama
PLUS 
EQUALS
Experiment No. 3: Marilyn Monroe & Bunk Strutts
PLUS 
EQUALS
Results: A pairing between a dead sex symbol and a live possum appears to result in better looking progeny than those of the other candidates, and if I say any more, I’m just gonna get in trouble with the lovely Mrs. Strutts who’s holding a hot skillet and asking me what the hell I’m doing. Gotta go. Talk amongst yourselves…
Failblog Fail: Cincinnati Chili
Our crack team of webminers here at Tacky Raccoons have identified a true Failblog Fail, although there is definitely a double entendre there.
Skyline Chili, Gold Star Chili and others in southwestern Ohio are regional favorites. This stuff of modern legend doesn’t resemble or taste like chili from elsewhere. It’s more like a granular soup that you ladle over spaghetti and add toppings. Bunky discovered it while in High School on weekends after the football/basketball/cheerleader eyeballin’ games. Pure survival eatin’-when-yer-hungry-food. If you’re not in the southern Ohio region, you can order it online (click on the images for details).
HOWEVER… The frozen stuff is prolly better but you’ll pay a premium for shipping with dry ice; The canned stuff, well, Bunk ordered a case of it once and it’s kinda sucky oily… but it’s close to the original.
Many moons ago when Bunky went-a courtin’ the lovely and future Mrs. Strutts, he introduced her to the delicacy favored by locals in the eastern regions of this Glorious Nation, and the future Mrs. Strutts played along until she threw up in the parking lot.
Now about this 3-Way stuff… That’s how you order it:
3-Way = Spaghetti, Chili, and finely grated cheddar cheese;
4-Way = Same as a 3-Way with onions OR red beans ;
5-way = Same as a 3-Way with onions AND red beans.
(This last one was Bunk’s favorite.)
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot the little saltine oyster crackers, but they don’t count as a “Way.”
Then there’s this:
You’re on your own if you run with that one. (I’ll give y’all the Strutts Family Recipe, but ya gotta beg.)
[Top image from here.]
5-Card Nancy Solitaire Online!
How much Zen can you tolerate in one game? Try it out for your own selves and you’ll see what I mean. Choose 5 cards, then explain the sequence.
Trial No. 1
Nancy has a nightmare that is transmitted to Sluggo. Sluggo reflects it back to Nancy via a hand-cranked meat grinder. Nancy wakes up and takes a walk to a barn that has a secret message painted on it.
Trial No. 2
Sluggo gets a job, and Nancy says she’ll stop by to distract him, but she is temporarily blinded. She prays for her sight to return. She turns her hair bow red while she plans her day, then turns it white again. A man notices that Nancy smells funny (as does Sluggo), so Nancy goes to visit her imaginary friend Tom. Following Tom’s advice, she eye-spits into Aunt Fritzi’s vegetable garden.
Trial No. 3
Nancy hallucinates that her notebook is a crayon. She finds her crack pipe and creates many small universes in her mind, until her Aunt Fritzi calls her to the living room. Nancy wanders for miles to find her Aunt. She ends up in a hardware store where she orders some chainsaws. While waiting, she dreams that she can magically suck bocce balls from her piggy bank with her magnetic fingers.
READY TO PLAY AGAIN?
Saturday Matinee: LURCH!
Rock n Roll at it’s peak. Check it out, yo!
But there’s more to his story. Besides being a household word for rock n roll and gettin’ hot babes, the late Ted Cassidy played TWO parts in “The Addams Family” TV Series. Lurch was one of them… the other was “Thing.”
From the Wikipedialoids:
“Lurch (Ted Cassidy) is the household butler. Morticia and Gomez summon him by means of a bell pull in the form of a hangman’s noose, which rings the massive bell located in the mansion’s bell tower; the resulting gong shakes the entire house when the bell’s noose is pulled. When Lurch appears (usually immediately or within seconds thereafter), he responds with an extremely deep-voiced, “You rang?”
“According to IMDb, Lurch was intended to be a non-speaking part, as the Charles Addams cartoon character was silent; however, Cassidy improvised the line during his audition, and it was so well-received that it became a feature of the character. When questions are posed to him, Lurch’s primary response is a deep throaty rumbling and, at times, tremendously annoyed sound, which the family nonetheless interpret as spoken words. Superhumanly strong (he cleans the family car by simply lifting it and shaking it out like a rug), Lurch often plays the harpsichord (the music is actually played by The Addams Family composer Vic Mizzy).
“Lurch is very high-minded about visitors; when a plainclothes policeman (played by George Neise) visited the family, Lurch patted him down and regarded him suspiciously when he found his gun. Neise showed Lurch his badge, whereupon Lurch returned the gun.
“Lurch occasionally regards his employers’ activities with some dubiousness, but only as any servant might regard the idle rich, not because he does not share their macabre tastes.”
As far as the Addams Family goes, Lurch was my 2nd favorite. Carolyn Jones (Morticia Addams), well, um, you know. Cassidy also appeared in several episodes of:
Star Trek;
I Dream of Jeannie;
Wild Wild West;
and The Six-Million Dollar Man (as Bigfoot).
Y’all can forget his cameo on Batman, too… or not.
Cassidy ALSO appeared in the movie “Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid” in this Classic Scene.
As a completely unrelated aside, anyone curious about what the Sex Pistols’ Johnny Rotten is up to these days? Seems he’s turned Shatner on us. Promise.
BONUS! For all of our loyal readers and supporters of Tacky Raccoons, please welcome our SPECIAL MYSTERY GUEST!
.GIF Friday Post 50: Do the WubbaWubba Dance!
The Shaggy Woods Beast
Larry Carlson has some amazing illustrations. This is a small part of one of many… right-click on the image to see the full-blown version. Excellent example of practical advanced tublication.
Desperation
[Cheap Shot found at Phil’s Place.]
Tacky Raccoons 
