Category: Humor

2017: When Cows Roamed the Earth – Before Ethanol

Big Bone Lick, KY (Strutts News Services) – According to Thursday’s MSWikipedia update, before ethanol depleted the corn crop in the US, cows, pigs and chickens were as big as barns.

Back as early as the 1990’s, one cow could provide enough milk and butter for a township of 1,000 or more. Now that ethanol is more profitable than producing corn for feed, the wheat crop has been eradicated as well. Citrus and tomato crops were outlawed in 2012, when President ProTem Chelsea Clinton, by fiat, mandated that only fermentable federally-approved grain be produced on the same soil.

A side note: Suet lamps are coming under scrutiny, and are becoming scarce, except on the black market. You can get ’em as cheap as 6,540 euros if you look for the bargains.

[Tip o’ the Tarboosh to CH & AU for the cow; pig from here, chicken from here.]

Happy Mothers’ Day! We got you scrap aluminum!

Momma was always SO proud of us.

[Image from Shorpy’s excellent photoblog.]

Saturday Matinee: Gone With The Wind

Necessary? Yes. Fun? Ditto. Sophomoric humor? You betcha.

Here’s another blast from the past…

Cap’n Kirk steps on a duck.

This guy is amazing. Prolly retired and living off of royalties by now.

I’m gonna leave you with this related video. Gotta go open a window. Later.

We Whale, We Whale, Fly You

FinPeng has a miserable turnout for his caption contest. Go help him out here.

TGIF: The Friday .GIF Post 31 – Bipods R Better

[2nd .gif image from here, 4th from here, others from who knows where.]

Missing Cat – “Plato”

Looks like one of ours, named “Plato.” No idea how he made it all the way to Hollywood, though. I’d call, but Verizon won’t let me dial magic marker black without paying a premium.

[Image from here. Related posts here.]

“PHWEEET! Everybody Out of the Pool!”

Russian single-occupant jacuzzi comes furnished with its own life guard. We won’t EVEN speculate on how it’s heated, where the water jets are, or why it bubbles occasionally. You’re on your own with this one, folks.

[Image from somewhere in here.]

Mmmm… Rattenfilet

Tastes like chicken, and with Pickles, too!

[Image from somewhere in here.]

Man Hasn’t Washed Face In 43 Years

Seattle, WA (Strutts News Services) – Dennis Mitchell, born at the age of four in 1951, was immortalized by his cartoonist father Hank Ketcham in the now world famous comic strip, “Dennis the Menace.”

Over the decades Hank Ketcham left black and white emotional scars daily (and three-color ones Sundays) on his pen-and-ink son Dennis, who later became a wealthy recluse in his adult years.

Dennis, the ultimate rugrat, turned 18 in 1965, and has never washed his face since, although he admits to taking weekly baths in his natatorium that he refers to as “The Moat.”

When asked why he still refuses to wash his face, Dennis, now 61, responded without emotion, “Why not? You’re not my mother,” and promptly returned to a large leather-upholstered rocking chair facing the northeast corner of his crayon-enhanced living room in Belmont Shores, California.

[Image from here via here. Related posts here and here.
Apologies to the late Hank Ketcham.]

[Snork!]

[Image from PlanetDan via Growabrain. Snork!]