Category: Odd

Front-Running Candidates for President of the U.S. Debate Their Own Presidentialityness

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New Hampshire, CA – (Strutts News Services)

Four Democrat U.S. Presidential hopefulls gathered tonight to discuss platitudes on nationwide television, and each arrived with trainers to keep them from attacking each other. (Senator Ed Norton was not present for this pre-debate photo op, but was recognized during the live video as someone else entirely.)

The first question from moderator Lannie Foosers set the stage for the remainder of the so-called debate. The question itself didn’t matter, as the answer for that one and all subsequent questions was, “I will fight for change and am prepared to agree with all who disagree with my nomination, and the current administration is at fault for that, and what you said as well.”

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Prior to the Democrat “debate” was the Republican “debate.” Candidate Ron Paul began the discussion before tape started rolling with, “Where is he? Obama was supposed to be here!”

The other Republican candidates all answered with, “You Fool! Of course we support the troops, and we’ll buy them lunch!” before moderator Lannie Foosers asked them each to attack Senator Obama on behalf of Senator Mrs. Bill Clinton.

We can all thank the writer’s strike for this absurd waste of network time. If Bunk was in charge, we’d be watching re-runs of The Prisoner with Patrick McGoohan instead.

[Top image from here, lower image picked off a page of the .pdf file linked from here.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 18 – Dead Karl

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I’ve never seen a .gif animation as sophisticated as this one, at least not since, but there must be others as this is #3 in a series. (Please don’t expect us to post this kind of quality every Friday… we can’t!)

[Anyone have the original source for this one? We’d like to give credit.  Also, the Caption Contest is still on.]

Caption Needed: Apply Here.

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Leave a caption in the comments section, and of the two three four we receive by midnight Sunday, we’ll pick the best one and do something with it. Honest.

[Image via email, Tip ‘o the Tarboosh to SM.]

UPDATE: There’s a real cool prize involved…

Happy New Year 2008! A New Century!

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New Year’s resolutions. Hmmm. Good God there are so many to choose from and so many to ignore and reject. Okeh, I got a couple:

I shall endeavor to be more ascerbic.

I shall wake up when I want to, not when electricity tells me to.

I shall quit giving the cat rides in the dryer if it hasn’t gone in there voluntarily, and if it does, I shall provide a blanket to cushion it.

I shall stop complaining about cat hair on my chonis.

I shall personally snag the livers from the huge turkeys my lovely wife purchases only two times a year for the holidays and I shall cook them up with butter and eat them in private without telling anyone.

I shall not feel guilty when I snicker to myself.

I shall briefly consider presidential candidate endorsements from Chuck Norris, Oprah Winfrey, Barbara Streisand, and whatsisface (you know, that guy, the funny one who doesn’t write his own material) and ignore those endorsements altogether as idiocy, and shall vote for a candidate and issues that they do not support.

I shall continue to combat the forces of evil, and shall pay my bills on time, with the understanding that giving in does not equate to surrender.

I shall fart when and where I want to, and not when or where others think I should, because it’s none of their business, and it’s completely out of their control anyway.

I shall relieve stress, in the aforementioned way, and other ways that I’m not inclined to let you in on.

Those are way too many resolutions for me, but I’ll keep them… to myself.

Wish y’all and yours a prosperous New Year from Tacky Raccoons.

–Your Pal, Bunk.

[Image from here via here.]

Giant Woolly Bear Caterpillar Discovered Near Las Cruces, NM, Predicts Global Warming for Decades to Come

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Bunk grew up in the eastern U.S. Regional lore maintains that the severity of each coming winter can be predicted by examining the size of the brown band of the Woolly Bear Caterpillar:

According to legend, the severity of the upcoming winter can be judged by examining the pattern of brown and black stripes on woolly bear caterpillars–the larvae of Isabella tiger moths. If the brown stripe between the two black stripes is thick, the winter will be a mild one. A narrow brown stripe portends a long, cold winter.

This specimen from September shows no black bands at all, suggesting that the winter of 2007-08 will be one of the warmest on record and we’ll all be grilling hot dogs and burgers in January. You can find a couple of curious videos of these giant freaks of nature here.

Here’s a normal sized one, sleeping:

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[Quote from here. First image from a site with an unfortunately inappropriate name that we won’t post on this site. Second image from here.]

When Dad Gets Into the Play-Doh

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[Image via here.]

Saturday Matinee: Wilson!

The late Cajun Chef Justin Wilson was the only cooking show I ever watched. With more holidays on the way, here is the master to show you how to make Chicken Gumbo with Andoille. Be pay attention so’s to done did it right, I gare-on-tee.

Speaking of Wilson, here’s a claymation version of Jackie Wilson’s “Reet Petite” that can only be described as bizarre:

Then there’s the Wicked Wilson Pickett, here with “99-1/2”:

My favorite Wilson of all won Best Supporting Actor for his role in the movie “Castaway” without speaking a single word due to great writing. Here’s a video of his complete monologue, in 3-D:

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The .Gif Friday Post No. 17: “Look Ma! No Friction!”

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MagLev Bicycle For Sale 30% Off.

Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat!

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The chicks’ll dig you when you “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

You’ll also notice that the Cap’n is not paying attention, and that it’s obvious that the sailbabe wants you… as soon as you can show her that you, too, can “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

Just beware… due to global warming, the fish population has dropped dramatically, and you’ll have to contend with diminutive seabats buzzing around your ears, regardless of whether or not you can “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

[Excellent image and quote from 1933, a mere five years before the warmest year on record, via Plan59.  More Babe Magnetism here.]

DVDs for Cats? Eeeew.

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If you buy this thinking that your cat is smart enough to turn on the TV, turn on the DVD player, open this box, put the DVD into the player, find the remote, grab a beer, hit “PLAY” and actually pay attention to this ridiculous exploitation of people who think cats are humans trapped in the bodies of furry lizards, you should pay triple the price as a penalty. Wait. That’s wrong… hand over the contents of your wallet and sign over your bank account to the first person you meet named Bunk.

A much cheaper version is available, and it’s free. It’s called “Throw the Cat Outside Like You’re Supposed To.”

[Image from Chiquiworld.]