This is beyond the Valley of Stupid, past the Hill of Morons, and all the way up to the Citadel of Ignoramus, but it’s available here. The site has an appropriately annoying soundtrack, too, to remind you of what bubble wrap popping sounds like. China knows that we’ll buy anything except for an oil pipeline from the Alaskan arctic desert, and they’re banking on bubble wrap popping audio electronics for now.
Don’t get me wrong. I’d be hawking it right here if I’d thought of it first.
P.S. Don’t buy it yet. This is only the beta analog version. Digital is coming out in January.
As a regular goy, it just occurred to me that I’ve inadvertently overlooked our non-goyim friends and readers who celebrate Hannukah this time of year. To recompense for my accidental oversite, here’s this gift suggestion:
A DELUXE EDITION of NO LIMIT TEXAS DREIDEL
[I didn’t make that up. Ask Kinky Friedman. Here’s the link, found here. At least it’s not “Strip Dreidel.”]
The chicken is not a real chicken. It’s a rubber chicken. It’s not even a live rubber chicken. And that’s not a real ninja either, but it’s obvious that the rubber chicken didn’t know what it was messing with when it attacked without warning. Did the rubber chicken deserve this brutal treatment? (Watch this and decide for yourself.)
Apparently there are a handful of folks who are offended by too many things, who are all humpy about this dopiness. I love it. And I love that those folks are all humpy about it, too.
Now if that were my son (the one on the left, I mean) I’d get all humpy about that ridiculous outfit, smack him on the temporal lobes, cut off his driving privileges and ask him what he was thinking.
Um, ah, you know, sometimes the words just don’t come easy when trying to describe something like Mr. Lung Face Person Cushion. Repulsive and attractive at the same time, and when you tickle him, he coughs.
Or maybe it’s Ms. Pink Apple-Shaped Windshield Face Person who just came into contact with a bloodless blue leaping newt at 50mph, and they both turned into a collectible plush toy.
But it could also be a comfy sanitary example of incomplete twinning en utero.
Oooh! Wait! It’s Cherchez “Churchy” LaFemme from Walt Kelly’s POGO looking at himself in a mirror!
I dunno, Babs, but I do know this. Someone thought this up, someone designed it, someone picked the colors and fabric, someone sewed it together, someone marketed it, and some folks are buying it, for someone else, for some unknown reason.
[Image from here. Oh yeah, speaking of emesis, Diesel’s still hawking his book at MattressPolice if you’re looking for a last minute Christmas gift. He promises to deliver it in person if you order by midnight tonight. Otherwise, you can read it free on his website. Go figger.]
Here’s the original English version of “Poor Hamster.”
Pleasant harmonies with a good plot and a twisted father with a lot of video editing time makes this a must see. Bunk has been out of the loop on this one, but gives it 5 stars. (2 stars go to the cloying animated version.)
A related song immediately comes to mind. Here’s Marty!
I don’t know how Marty Robbins pulled this one off, but here’s the MTV clip of his hit “El Paso” from 1959. The late Imogene Coca appears in a cameo as “Bellina.”
And speaking of Ike Turner, he passed on to Rock N Roll Heaven this past week.
Ike and his Kings of Rhythm recorded what’s regarded as the first Rock N Roll hit in 1951 with “Rocket 88.” Regardless of what you think of him, Ike & Tina Turner’s Rhythm & Blues Review was also very influential, but without the Ikettes, and especially Tina, he’d have been left as a footnote in the Cobra Records archives. (Ike’s in the gray Nehru jacket in the middle, but who’s that white guy on rhythm guitar? Steve Cropper?)
This is the best version of James Brown‘s “Please Please Please” that I’ve ever heard. Tina was amazing when Janis Joplin was still taking notes.
[“Poor Hamster” English version from here. Marty Robbins’ pic from here. His video is from the UToobage. Ike & Tina from here.]
Tacky Raccoons 