Time flies. In this case, ants and mustaches do, too.
[Image from NoPuedoCreer.]
Category: Retro & Vintage
Delinquents with Combs
“Juvenile Delinquents might be nasty… and they might be rude…. and they might even be violent — But you can never accuse them of being sloppy. For instance, have you ever noticed how hoodlums always have PERFECT HAIR? It’s no accident… Every street hood knows that looking good is as important as knowing how to hotwire a car or jimmy open a vending machine. And now we’re going to share their secret with you…
“Delinquents With Combs looks like a classic switchblade knife. But when you press the button, a handy comb springs out instead of a blade. When open, the switchblade comb measures 9-inches long and even has a safety lock to prevent it from opening unexpectedly.
“Delinquents With Combs comes in a really cool package, too. It depicts a tough greaser fiercely wielding his switchblade comb. So if you want to look good and feel cool, get one of these babies. (a leather jacket and a ripped t-shirt wouldn’t hurt, either)”
Too hot to handle and too cold to hold, this rockin’ item will get ’em hooked and reeled in when you tame your mane with a springloaded lady killer like this. I got mine, and no, you can’t borrow it, lice brain. Stand up like a pup and put some glide in your stride. I gotcher hot tottie, gonna take her for a ride. So listen loser, the comb gets her home, so quit shadow boxing me and cough up your piggy bank before I rearrange your freckles, dork.
[Image from NoPuedeCreer, but the original source and description appear to be from here. Vaguely related post here.]
Saturday Matinee: Jimmy Stewart to Jimi Hendrix
Bunk’s jaw dropped when his daughter Seraphina Strutts presented this excellent find from the Utoobage, and said, “I don’t know if you’ll like this, Dad, but Mom laughed her Hasselhoff.”
Bunk likes it, especially the mashup between 1938’s “You Can’t Take It With You” and the 5 Discs’ 1962 recording of “Never Let You Go.”
And speaking of the music of 1962, here’s music from 1964: Joey Dee and the Starlighters, limp-sinking a medley of their greatest hit. Joey’s head is huge in this video while the guy on the right looks like a pinhead. Must be a result of early video lens distortion. [Mr. Dee has a delightfully awful website here.] When I was a teenager, I found his album “Live at the Peppermint Lounge” at a garage sale. All the songs sound like this one, kinda like a pre-Ramones formula. (Papa Strutts once categorized it as “all drums and lights.”)
As sappy as this sounds, Joey Dee and the Starlighters had some serious connections to future rock n roll heavyweights. From Wikipedia:
“…the most famous lineup of Joey Dee and The Starliters is considered to be Joey Dee, David Brigati, Larry Vernieri (vocals), Carlton Lattimore (organ), and Willie Davis (drums). Later members of the touring group would include Eddie Brigati (David’s brother), Gene Cornish, and Felix Cavaliere – three-quarters of The Young Rascals – as well as guitarist Jimmy James (later known as Jimi Hendrix) and Charles Neville of The Neville Brothers.”
And speaking of the music of 1964, here’s an A&E clip about 1966, and James Marshall Hendrix.
Where else but here can you get semi-cognizant linkage between 1938 and 1966?
Rock Candy
Look here. Bunk knows peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and you, Reese, are no peanut butter and banana sandwich maker.
What young Bunky liked better were peanut butter and sweet pickle sandwiches, combining the flavor of Jif with the crunch of baby gerkins. And vice versa.
Fortunately, Reese acknowleged that these bastardized confections have artificial flavor, so you can rest assured that it doesn’t taste exactly like the King. They made up for the chicanery by labeling the bag, “Collector Edition,” thus snagging all the compulsive candy-collectors investors hoping to score big bucks months or years from now in the Reese’s Cups futures market.
So just how many bags do you have stashed away in your safe deposit box?
[Image from Bockety.]
Rubber (Duckies) Soul
Neatorama is amazing. Their crack team of webminers found Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues recast as Rubber Duckies. Made me wanna take a warm bath with an 8-track player nearby belting out Sam and Dave’s Greatest Hits…
Until I followed the Neatorama link and found this:
“Ah Pity Da Foo Who Don’t Lather, Rinse, Repeat!”
No way am I getting wet with Mr. T unless it’s raining. Other excellent Mr. T accouterments may be found here, here, and especially here.
Related Rubber Duckie report from the world-renowned Strutts News Services may be found here, and for you afficionados, more specific duck info here.
And Bunk just broke his own record for most links in a single post. G’head and click on ’em, but be back here in time for dessert, okay?
Saturday Matinee: Free Cash
There are several things that are just not right with this video, and Johnny Cash is not one of them.
1. I found it on an Aussie website.
2. He’s on the Muppet Show. The muppets do not deserve to be in the presence of the Man In Black, even if Jim Henson is dead, too.
3. Mr. Cash doesn’t play guitar on the clip, only harmonica, and he had to bring two of them.
4. There are Disney Channel Mouse droppings on the lower left hand corner of the Utoobage.
“HEEERE’S JOHNNY!” from 1959 with some serious chord modulation, and few folks could sing it. (Earl Scruggs did, but that’s another post.) Released in September 1956/Sun Records, made it to number 17 on the charts.
This one from San Quentin. Released in July1969/Columbia Records, made it to number 2 on the charts.
From Joel Whitburn’s “Top Pop Singles 1955-1999” there’s this:
“Born on 2/26/32 in Kingsland, Arkansas. Brother Roy led the Dixie Rhythm Ramblers band in late 1940’s. In U.S. Air Force, 1950-54. Formed trio with Luther Perkins (guitar) and Marshall Grant (bass) in 1955. First recorded for Sun in 1955. On Louisiana Hayride and Grand Ole Opry in 1957. Own TV show for ABC from 1969-71. Worked with June Carter from 1961, married her in March 1968. Carl Perkins and The Statler Brothers were members of his touring troupe from 1968-75. Ranks within the top three male vocalists of the Country charts. Charted 136 Country hits, 1955-98. Daughter Rosanne Cash and step daughter Carlene Carter had successful singing careers. Elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1980. Won Grammy’s Living Legends Award in 1990. Guested on many TV shows. Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1992.”
RIP J.C.
Everybody picked on Bob.
Arrow Shirts had been mocking Bob mercilessly since elementary school, and they decided to get one last jab at him with this ad. Bob kept wishing that Arrow Shirts would stop thinking about him and just leave him alone.
Epilogue:
Bob is now CEO of MetaInfrared International, married Miss Amazon 1995, has four kids.
Paul graduated from Ball State with an associate degree in geology, and balances tires at a Goodyear store in Indianapolis, married and divorced three times, raises and trains rottweilers.
Steve, well let’s just say he did some really really bad things, and won’t be eligible for parole until he’s about 270 years old.
[Image from here.]
Babe Magnet: JETSTREAM!
Amazing. What attention to detail. Not only does he have the Jetstream airbrushed via spraypaint, masked it to overlap the brakelight assembly, he has at least two “starbursts” that serve to make this humperwagon shine! Since the shocks are broken, when dweebness drives over speed bumps at 30mph, the Jetstream paint job appears to be straight. Way cool.
Now you might think that the sloppy masking job on the door trim was an accident, but it’s just another subliminal signal to the high school hotties that “Yeah, I gotta hot sled here, but I’m a down-to-earth-kinda guy.”
And just to push that subtle point, there’s the Christmas Tree air freshener with mooneyes hanging on the rearview mirror, visible just to the right of the bone-marrow red front post that accents the antenna. (“Oooh! A four-door! My dad says I can go if my brothers can come along, K?”)
But here’s the BEST PART: The Governor of Dorkland advertises his responsible side to the future recipient of a romantic afternoon date at Arby’s by upending his spray can to clear the nozzle, thus creating three little octopi on the rear post. Pure efficient genius.
Mr. Aerosol, thank you for photographing it so nicely, and for posting it on the internest for our dropped-jaw amazement. And your cassette of RamJam’s greatest hit? It’s in the glove compartment under the used handiwipes with a raisin stuck to it.
The .Gif Friday Post 20 – NomNomNom
She’ll never finish it.
[That NomNomNom is from here.]
He’ll never finish it either.
[This NomNomNom is from here]
Folks– Seems this site gets a lotta hits from the TGIF posts. Our crack webminers have been instructed to tag sources, including .gif animations, so that we may give credit to the original authors. Some of our older posts remain un-tagged, so if any readers recobanize posts that ought to be rightly credited, please forward comments or links and we’ll give credit where credit is due.
For example, the original author of this .gif is in demand. I believe he’s in the U.K. and has a number of other excellent animations on his website… but the link has been lost, even though I looked behind the couch. Lemme know if you find it, and we’ll post it. —Bunk
[Update 27 Sept 08: Author found! Looky here.]
Bunk Speaks
Folks,
We’ve noticed a few broken links on past posts. If any of you happen to notice videos that don’t play, images that don’t load, lettuce know, and we’ll do our best to fix ’em. YouTube is kinda notorious for pulling videos, and if they yank ’em, we won’t know unless you tell us. Leave a comment on the post with the damaged linkage and we’ll give it a bandage, because, after all, readers of TackyRaccoons visit this site for perfection, and you rock.
Bunk
P.S. TackyRacoons made it past the first cut for January at www.iblogcup.com. 2nd elimination round is going on so vote once a day, but only if you really want to. Maybe we’ll win a cupcake or something. If so, we’ll share it with you because we like to share. It’s just the way we are. Sometimes.
[UPDATE: Tacky Raccoons came in 4th place in January, but there were apparently some shenanigans going on according to the webmaster. Sorry, no cupcake.]
Tacky Raccoons 