Children’s Nightmares Illustrated

Some time ago I ran across a great collection of illustrations by professional illustrators of children’s illustrations of monsters, in a side-by-side format. I was unable to find the original source (possibly somewhere in DRB) for the images below, but here is a link to the site of one of the artists, Dave Devries, who certainly had something to do with the concept. He’s got a great collection of work and related stuff for sale, too.

Post Box Post

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R2D2 takes your mail and sends it to a galaxy far far away. Then he leaves a nice little pile of scatological droid humor on the sidewalk.

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Yeah, I get it. Anorexic Fe-mailbox. I bet the owner cracks himself up every day except Sundays and holidays.

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I’ll admit this is clever, even though it’s kinda, you know, um, wrong… whether it’s outgoing mail or incoming.  Still just wrong.

[More boxes can be found here.]

J. V. Lafferty’s Contribution to the World

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If you lived here, you wouldn’t need to keep your old trunk in the attic. From Wikipedia:

James Vincent de Paul Lafferty, Jr. (1856-1898) was an Irish-American inventor, most famous for his construction of Lucy the Elephant. Born to Irish parents in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, he received Patent Number 268503, on December 5, 1882 to protect his original invention, as well as any animal-shaped building. Broke by 1887, he was forced to sell her and in 1898, he died, and is buried in the cemetery of St. Augustine’s Catholic Church in Philadelphia.

This architectural gem was built, still stands, and is protected as an historical something or other. [You can see Lucy in all her glory in this previous post.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 27 – Multi Lock On

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No idea what this is all about (maybe something about fighting global warming caused by the sun). Nice animation just the same.  Rock on.

[Source somewhere in here. Tip ‘o the Tarboosh to Dan.]

The .Gif Friday Post No. 22 – What’s Wrong With This Picture?

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Try to find at least three things wrong with this picture. Leave your best guesses in the comments section, and I’ll post the correct answers on next week’s .gif Friday Post.

No hints and no cheating. Don’t be fooled… it’s tougher than you think. Ready, set, GO!

[More odd .gif animations here.]

TGIF: The .gif Friday Post 18 – Dead Karl

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I’ve never seen a .gif animation as sophisticated as this one, at least not since, but there must be others as this is #3 in a series. (Please don’t expect us to post this kind of quality every Friday… we can’t!)

[Anyone have the original source for this one? We’d like to give credit.  Also, the Caption Contest is still on.]

Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat!

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The chicks’ll dig you when you “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

You’ll also notice that the Cap’n is not paying attention, and that it’s obvious that the sailbabe wants you… as soon as you can show her that you, too, can “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

Just beware… due to global warming, the fish population has dropped dramatically, and you’ll have to contend with diminutive seabats buzzing around your ears, regardless of whether or not you can “Bisect the Sea with the Foaming Wake of a Fast Motorboat.”

[Excellent image and quote from 1933, a mere five years before the warmest year on record, via Plan59.  More Babe Magnetism here.]

How to Make Hats: 1776

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Seems pretty easy to me. All the tools you need are illustrated, including a flat iron, a nipple gauge made from a sassafras twig, a hand grenade, a broken rubber band, some shelves with hats on them, a cat brush, a kybo seat, and a toaster. The other items are optional. Another gift-giving problem solved, courtesy of your friends here at TR.

Of course, if you decide to become a “chapelier” you’ll need a certificate from an approved training center, a qualification test to get licensed, a business license, a conditional use permit for your business location, approval by the EPA, workers compensation and liability insurance, and then the union thugs will prolly shut you down before you produce your first “chapelle” unless you sign up.

I’m goin’ for it. You in?

[Image via Hanuman.]

Here’s to Your Nulls, and more…

Since this is SNTC Anniversary month, we offer this tribute.

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Okay. Assume you’re a male bee and… oh nevermind. The allegory doesn’t work with conchs. Let’s move on.

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This configuration is designed for a two-person study group. The checkerboard has been removed for clarity.

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Note the absence of TP. Note the presence of the sponge on a stick. Note that the sponge on a stick is not for cleaning the chamber pot. Note that the chain flushes nothing, but rings a chime.

Note that this is how very important people did it, and be glad that you didn’t have to answer the bell.

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Nice western adaptation for the Turkish Toilet. (Bomb sights have since been added to this model. Roll up your trousers and keep your boots on.)

Thanx a load to b.b., jynx, Geezer & Donk for bringing all this to my attention.

[Photos via Toilets from Around the World (some NSFW/kids)]

Before ASCII Photos


This illustration was created entirely by typewriter by a man with cerebral palsy. More of his amazing works can be found at the link below. The close up details of the illustrations are amazing.

Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born in Philadelphia on September 21, 1921 with severe cerebral palsy.
“Not only had Paul beaten the odds of a life with spastic cerebral palsy, a disability that impeded his speech & mobility but also taught himself to become a master artist as well as a terrific chess player even after being devoid of a formal education as a child.
“When typing, Paul used his left hand to steady his right one. Since he couldn’t press two keys at the same time, he almost always locked the shift key down and made his pictures using the symbols at the top of the number keys. In other words, his pictures were based on these characters … @ # $ % ^ & * ( ) _ .

Photo and commentary (in italics) from Crooked Brains, via Anita’s Picks.

[Update: Additional images from here. The links above are defunct, but here’s another background story. Paul ]