CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW
BAT BAT BAT BAT
STRETCH STRETCH STRETCH STRETCH
GTFO GTFO GTFO GTFO
[All cutesy catsy throwy-uppy .gif’s from here, except for the last one.]
Month: May 2008
Babe Magnet del Pinto Viento
Whoa! This Monster Magoo automatically qualifies as a genuine Babe Magnet if only because its owner photographed it from dog-eye level and printed it in B&W just to keep the yellow snow in check.
Good God, I’m drooling over this one… way too many places to begin, so let’s start here.
IT’S A PINTO!
But wait, there’s more! It’s a dark color, prolly navy blue, with flames erupting from the wrong end of this rolling molotov cocktail. The Ford Pinto was designed to be, and was, a real carp car, until GMC AMC beat Ford to the bottom with the Gremlin. At least the Gremlin didn’t spray atomized gasoline all over the neighborhood when it was rear-ended by that little s.o.b. Bobby Bieber on his Honda 50.
In order to enhance the Pinto’s reputation as a rolling flamethrower, Earl “Tom” Slick jacked it up to make sure that ANY rear end collision would hit the gas tank, and not just the ones caused by Stevie Wonder backing into the 6-inch yellow-painted steel pipe filled with concrete adjacent to the Wendy’s drive-thru window.
Oh, but then there are the snow tires that say either “Granola” or “Formula.” If the former, Earl is the whelp of hippy wannabes; if the latter, Tom has at least one PET Milk fan in his nuclear family. He gets some serious BM points either way.
Good God. There’s just too much to comment on, like the air dam with what appears to be a Life Motto: “To the House.” Maybe it’s “To the Mouse.” Or maybe it’s “To the Noose.” Doesn’t matter. It’s there, and it’s going to the thing that it refers to. Whew.
This is a classic Babe Magnet if there ever was one.
We haven’t even touched on Earl’s aluminum tower. Two lame Carter carburetors take the place of one lame Rochester on a homemade aluminum chimney.
We didn’t get to the sound system, designed solely for Brownsville Station’s greatest 8-track hit. We didn’t clamp down on Earl’s taste in sidewalk sirens/pavement princesses.
SO much left untouched and undone.
This BABE MAGNET deserves a second helping. Fill in the blanks with a Number Two pencil in the comments section below.
[UPDATE: The air dam inscription is “TO THE WOODS” and makes just about as much sense as the other interpretations. Oh, wait, maybe it’s “TO THE HOODS.” Hold on… “TO THE WOOS’S?” I dunno, Babs.]
[Pinto Blowage from here.]
Son of Hot Links
The management at Tacky Raccoons is proud to announce that the lovely and talented Jen of Casual Slack fame has whelped a new blog: Retro Tavern.
PhotoBlog of derelict/abandoned Insane Asylums (Asylae?) here.
Richard Thompson does a great cover of a not so great song here. His “Wall of Death” (originally recorded with future ex-wife Linda) is classic.
Please “Do Not” look at this link.
Brief summary of the basics of the Retroencabulator in layman’s terms, a veritable primer on Advanced Tublication, here. All it needs is a Buettner variable switch on the barraic capacitor.
It’s really not THAT complicated. Cool B&W photos of US teenagers and their woe-quotes here via here.
Obnoxious TV show from the UK (heh) featuring “Bunny Boiler.” (Kinda PG-sumpm.)
Live sidewalk cover of the Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star” by The Wrong Trousers. And they’ve got a studio version here.
The Idiot Test. Not here, there.
Russia likes Tacky Racoons (and some of you folks on our blogroll, too). The translation for TR reads, “New Resource. It is interesting.” Good enough for me. Here’s the list.
Looking for new humorz? Diesel has 819 sites listed (with a mysterious rating system based on flux) at Humor-Blogs. Bunky is very pleased to be stirring up flatulence within the 90th percentile (but not enough to be dancing around in his chonis). Sign up as a member if you haven’t already.
[Previous Hot Links here.]
Ocho Gatas Negras
[Image and caption from Fengtastic.]
U Needz Mor Sunscreen, K?
[Image from somewhere in here, I thinks.]
2017: When Cows Roamed the Earth – Before Ethanol
Big Bone Lick, KY (Strutts News Services) – According to Thursday’s MSWikipedia update, before ethanol depleted the corn crop in the US, cows, pigs and chickens were as big as barns.
Back as early as the 1990’s, one cow could provide enough milk and butter for a township of 1,000 or more. Now that ethanol is more profitable than producing corn for feed, the wheat crop has been eradicated as well. Citrus and tomato crops were outlawed in 2012, when President ProTem Chelsea Clinton, by fiat, mandated that only fermentable federally-approved grain be produced on the same soil.
A side note: Suet lamps are coming under scrutiny, and are becoming scarce, except on the black market. You can get ’em as cheap as 6,540 euros if you look for the bargains.
[Tip o’ the Tarboosh to CH & AU for the cow; pig from here, chicken from here.]
Happy Mothers’ Day! We got you scrap aluminum!
Saturday Matinee: Gone With The Wind
Necessary? Yes. Fun? Ditto. Sophomoric humor? You betcha.
Here’s another blast from the past…
Cap’n Kirk steps on a duck.
This guy is amazing. Prolly retired and living off of royalties by now.
I’m gonna leave you with this related video. Gotta go open a window. Later.
We Whale, We Whale, Fly You
FinPeng has a miserable turnout for his caption contest. Go help him out here.
Tacky Raccoons 
