Luscious, Tempting and Appealing.

“Guys! Check it out! Babs just showed up with a Tootsie Roll and she’s chewing it! Dump your skanky dates, you’re missing the best part! Man oh man, look at her go!”

True Fact: Tootsie Roll, see, is the life of every party… for wherever Young America gathers… Its popularity is acclaimed by all.

Acclaimed by all 13 dweebs in the advert, that is. The next best thing, besides watching Babs seductively remove her fillings with a brown phallus-shaped wad of sugar, corn syrup, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, condensed milk, cocoa, whey, soy lecithin, orange extract, and artificial and condensed flavors, is an ether binge.

[Found here. Crossposted here.]

Swiss Army Crapper

“Honey, it locked up again and I’ve gotta go, real bad.”

There’s something about designers who insist on taking a concept that works and trying to fix it. Just because it’s different, doesn’t necessarily make it better, and this is a great example.

Yeah, it looks cool, and it takes up less space than a regular bathroom with a toilet and a shower, but look closer at what it takes away.

  • The floor and all walls of the room need to be waterproofed, and it has to have a floor drain.
  • All electrical fixtures, switches and outlets need to be waterproof, too.
  • The floor is always cold. And wet.
  • Forget mildew problems. Now you have water deposits to clean.
  • To clean it, you need a ladder… and machine oil.
  • No grooming mirror in front of the lavatory so you might as well do it in a dark closet.
  • The toilet seat will always be wet. No furry seat cover cozies for you!
  • Forget about a toilet paper dispenser. You better remember to fish it out of the linen cabinet every time.
  • Women have no countertop space to display all 31 beauty enhancement products and accouterments.
  • Men have no place to set their beer while they pee into the floor drain.

Now, if it had a single button that springs everything into a usable configuration, that might be cool, except when the power goes out. In other words, it’s another great example of pure efficient genius.

[Found here, crossposted here, with a Tip o’ the Tarboosh to Snork.]