Be a Night Janitor just like Mommy! (Note that it says, “Girls Only.”)
Not to worry, though, as there is a related educational toy just for the future Junior Maintenance Manager in your family, called “My Mop, My Bucket and My Squeegee.”
[Found here.]
Wow. I’ve been looking for a dozen assorted Inflatable Snake Swords for years, if only to have a crazy sword fight. If you swing one ISS and miss, the snakehead homes in on and bites your enemy right in the crackerbockles before deflating. Ouch. Crazy.
On the other hand, these Light-Up Expando Swords come with a built-in choking hazard. Swing one at your enemy and it breaks up into little weaponettes that fly screaming right down his/her/its throat. These weapons of mass illumination go for $14.99/dozen, so maybe they’re better for self defense after all, but they’re definitely not assorted.
Foam Swords + Duct Tape are an entirely different class of weaponry, to be covered in a future post. Meanwhile, don’t mess with ANYONE who displays little cows with crescent moons on his/her foam sword sheath. These people are dangerous, and THEY play for keeps.
Great educational game for the hole family. Release the evil spirits, insert the jello, and your Patient’s nose lights up when his demeanor improves!
A traditional cure-all for conservatism, it has its dangers: Be careful! When the vote comes up and the Patient argues against frivolous spending and taxation, guess what? HE’S NOT CURED!
The game continues until each of the evil spirits have been vanquished and the Patient votes for nationalizing the banking industry, the automotive industry, the healthcare industry, runs for congress as a carpetbagger, opposes the NRA and Constitutional Amendments 1, 2 & 4, is coerced to vote CORRECTLY, or until he’s been otherwise completely incapacitated and forced to become a ward of the State himself.
Bonus points are awarded if the Patient joins Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, any union, or supports AGW before becoming incapacitated.
Once the Patient signs on as a democrat the game is over, and it moves to the next level: Change your Patient from a socialist to a marxist! (Requires upgrade to Trepanation 2.0.)
[Found here.]
If you haven’t read THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE since high school, maybe now is a good time to reread it, given our current economic situation and recent insufferable actions by the current administration. The Heritage Foundation has an excellent introduction to The Declaration, one of the most influential documents in the history of western civilization.
Since this is our weekly Saturday Matinee, we took a walk through the Utoobage. The first video that showed up is a very nice professional rendition by a handful of left-wing has-been Hollywood stars and starlets, reciting an EDITED version of the original Declaration, with very convenient omissions… and we’ll NOT post it here.
The next video listed on the Utoobage was well produced also, but devolves within seconds to a criticism of Thomas Jefferson as a slave owner, and, besides ignoring the historical context, misses the point of The Declaration entirely, and confuses it with the Constitution of the United States. It is in fact the intro to the first video mentioned. We’ll not link to that piece of irrational and inaccurate garbage either.
But then we found this unstilted representation:
Those men, “The Founding Fathers,” had integrity, fortitude, morals, ethics and balls. They did what they did under threat of being tortured and hanged for treason by the British.
Where can we find such courageous leaders today? Certainly not in Washington D.C.
Occasionally our esteemed web miners at Tacky Raccoons run short of post ideas due to prior commitments and responsibilities (like, um, well, other important stuff.) When we run out of unique post images or topics, we resort to a simple parlor trick: Google an image of a random word, see what pops up, and exploit it for pennies on the dollar. (You wanna see LEDs on sheep? You won’t find it here. We don’t play the viral game.)
Today we’re talking new age hair.*
As we age, our bodies change in ways we only laughed about in grade school. A few long eyebrow hairs are kinda cool, but ear hair is not. Nor is the onslaught of middle age nose hair. I have all three.
Fortunately, modern technology provides the answer for two-thirds of them, and the vacuum abhorred by nature is filled by this wonderful creation:
Be forewarned that if you use this appliance for ear hair, it will change your eye color as well as the color and pattern of your shirt.
For sale here at the low price of $5.99 (unfortunately no used ones are listed.) Get one for each nostril for only $11.98 plus snipping and handling. An optional stainless steel flail attachment is available to grind out the crusties.
Not for use as a unowot, regardless of crusties.
[Image found here. Nose Hair Opinion Poll results here.] Continue reading “New Age Hair”
I like caption contests, and when I happened across this one, the caption seemed obvious to me:
Reforming Geek liked it enough to send me an egg. Not just any egg, a decorated cardboard egg. In a checkbook box. (I might as well take the rest of the week off as the “glow” hasn’t worn off yet.)
Here it is, without the plastic bubble wrap that protected this coveted treasure.
The secret of the egg didn’t appear until a scan revealed the hidden “laser rabbits” thing going on. Thanks, RG.
Tacky Raccoons 
