So two snakes slither under a bar.
1st snake says, “Gimme a rock and rye.”
2nd snake says, “Gimme the same.”
Bartender looks around the empty bar and hollers, “Insert punchline here!” The snakes are stunned, neither can speak.
This condition is called “a reptile dysfunction.”
[Original image found here.]
Friday the 13th comes on a Monday this month. A whole week of bad luck, unless you’re a tree snake.
[Found here.]
[Found here.]
[Found here.]
There’s way too much carotene in this snake’s diet, so the responsible reptile raiser rewards it for successfully using the boa litter box in the closet with a cucumber instead. It’ll regain its natural color in a week or so.
[Found here.]
I never take a challenge sitting down, so when Steamboat McGoo spotted a black racer on his chimney and asked for estimates on its length, how could I refuse? After all, my ancestors specialized in reptilian length prognostication.
S. McGoo rewarded me with the honor of posting my snake calculations DIRECTLY UNDER HIS BANNER HEADER. (Click on the image unadulterated big to make it.)
Such an honor bestowed requires reciprocity, so I’ve added Aaardvarks & Asshats to our glorious blogroll. You goo, McGo!
Wow. I’ve been looking for a dozen assorted Inflatable Snake Swords for years, if only to have a crazy sword fight. If you swing one ISS and miss, the snakehead homes in on and bites your enemy right in the crackerbockles before deflating. Ouch. Crazy.
On the other hand, these Light-Up Expando Swords come with a built-in choking hazard. Swing one at your enemy and it breaks up into little weaponettes that fly screaming right down his/her/its throat. These weapons of mass illumination go for $14.99/dozen, so maybe they’re better for self defense after all, but they’re definitely not assorted.
Foam Swords + Duct Tape are an entirely different class of weaponry, to be covered in a future post. Meanwhile, don’t mess with ANYONE who displays little cows with crescent moons on his/her foam sword sheath. These people are dangerous, and THEY play for keeps.
Right Click For The Tacky Map!
We’re all Fuldkommen Gak now.
Fight Blogslutting. (Psst. Hey, buddy. Got a Buck 4 a Bunk? A dime a day keeps the meerkats away. Cutesy little standy-uppy weasel-lookin' bastards.)
