… or was he mining for tweezer zirconium ore instead?
[Found here.]
Category: Odd
Gnome Herding Declared Illegal in Oz
Cootamundra, New South Wales, AU (Strutts News Services) –
In a bold move, Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd declared a state of emergency in this small shire of 5,600 after more than 1,500 gnomes were discovered in captivity on Thursday. Many of the captive ornamentals showed signs of neglect, and all appeared relieved to be freed from their captor.
“An allotment of four gnomes per person is unfathomable,” declared Rudd. “It flies in the face of everything this country stands for.”
Although Rudd acknowledged that some of the gnomes were not full grown and had barely sprouted when the farm was discovered, he condemned the practice as barbaric. “These gnomes were not intended for distribution to those in need across New South Wales, but were earmarked for export. It’s no secret that such trafficking is illegal.”
[Spokespersons for VE Imports, the world’s largest gnome trader, did not return our phone calls and were unavailable for comment.]
When asked about gnome farmer and property owner Cobber Bluey, the locals eyed the ground in reverence. “He’s gone,” said neighbor Marcy Dotes. “He stepped over the line ten times too many, the bastard.”
Listen Loudly.
Stump Bunk
We’re up to about 17 regular viewers here after thousands of hours of effort, and it’s starting to pay off. As we drift aimlessly into Our Third Annum of existance, our Crack Team of Webminers suggested another poll. It’s a very simple yes/no thingy, and it’s free.
CTW thought we might want to venture into the realm of comments, i.e., post nothing of substance, but use the post itself as a comment generator.
We’re gonna ignore the poll for now, but leave your pertinent questions in the comments section and we’ll respond after leaving the toilet seat up and flushing with our feet. Depending on the volume (of questions) we may answer all in one post, or spread them out over the lawn to hose ’em down later.
Bill Murray: Posterchild for Socialism?
[Found here because they linked to us. Appears to be a pro-communist Swedish blog, but I dunno, Babs.]
Too much fun.
Saturday Matinee – Ghosts & Vapors, Pink Dub, Midnight Animals Oil, Ramones California Sun
Ghost caught on video!
“Booo! Booo! Run for mayor somewhere else! Booo!”
[Found here. Don’t jump to a Beer Summit conclusion, there’s more to the story.]
[Found here. Welcome to Electric Pelosiland.]
No video, but the concept is great. Pink Rock Floyd Steady Dub.
Nice cover of the Animals’ 1965 hit by Midnight Oil. But here’s some trivia: The song was written by Barry Mann. (More about him here.)
Oh, yeah.
The .Gif Friday Post No.91 – Mona
[All from Halbot Mail.]
Beards, Beards Everywhere. Beards, Beards… Made of Hair.
I’m not a huge fan of beards attached to my face, but I tend to rank the beards of others on a scale of “Oh, it’s a beard” to “I WANT TO TOUCH THAT BEARD.”
He looks like the kind of guy who’d sit in that chair, running a comb through that beard.
But maybe that’s just me.
Of course, many other people have particularly wondrous beards, large and small, but there’s just one that I don’t even call a beard.
By now, you’re probably starting to question my sanity. I am, too. And this is just my second post. So now with my mental stability in question, let us continue with the very GOD OF BEARDDOM. I am, of course, referring to the late, great Billy Mays Jr.
Well, I think this basically wraps up my beard-talk. Go ahead to this website for top quality beards from history.
But wait! One more addition! How could I have forgotten Chuck Norris and Mr. T? HOW? I do believe if I had forgotten to mention them in the post at all, my head would explode upon the publishing date. I’m glad there’s that categories bar within the range of my sight.
Do Andy Rooney’s eyebrows count as beards?
Anyway…
Donald Tyler’s Contribution to the World
U.S. Patent No. 7,488,244, filed in April, 2007, by Donald Tyler of Cadiz, KY. Abstract:
“An apparatus for skinning a squirrel that is easily manufactured, portable, quick and in which the apparatus can be mounted to a variety of surfaces. The apparatus comprises a base plate connected to toggle clamp in which the toggle clamp is engaged to press two metal tubes tightly together. The base plate is bent at an angle and secured to a stationary object. The tail of the squirrel is placed in the apparatus in between the two metal tubes and the toggle clamp is engaged to secure the tail. The skin is pulled from the uncut skin of the tail thereby removing the skin from the body in two pieces of skin.”
In other words, it’s a toggle clamp. Very cool.
On the other hand, `Mr. Squirrel® looks like a lot more fun. It comes with TWO attached key rings and a handy braided thong so that The Squirrel Hunter in your family can wear it around his/her neck when not in use. What a deal!
[`Mr. Squirrel® found here. Patent image found here. Patent Abstract here.]
Tacky Raccoons 