Saturday Matinee – Bustin’ Off The Ice, Japanese Graduation Ceremony, The Third Degree & The Heavy

“Ostra zima na Papieskiej w Nowym Sączu!”
One Rubber Mallet in Poland.
[via]

Incomprehensible Japanese Graduation Ceremony is awesome. [via]

The Third Degree is an Aussie band specializing in retro R&B and does it well. That lead singer’s got the vibe of early James Brown and Smokey Robinson, backed up by the Bar-Kays.

The Heavy  has a great mix of funk, soul & swamp rock style (even though they blatently stole from Screamin’ Jay Hawkins).

I heard that the SuperBowl is coming up. Chili by 3, Broncos by 10. Have a great weekend, folks, see you tomorrow.

Saturday Matinee – Portuguese Man O’ War, Bonanza, David Rose & The Beat Farmers


[Vid found here.]

The Portuguese Man O’ War is amazing, as it’s not a single animal, but a colony of several bizarre organisms, all dependent on the others for survival. One provides transportation, one lures and traps food, one processes it, one cooks, and the other one does laundry and runs the blog.

The harmless gasbag idiot-animal floats while dangling his nasty stinging-tentacled buddies as deep as 160 feet below the surface. How they find each other and decide to hang together is a mystery to me, unless it has something to do with cheap beer, tasers and fraternity parties.

I saw one washed up on a beach when I was a kid without knowing what it was – thought it was an inflatable toy dolphin with seaweed attached. Yeah, I poked it with a stick, and yeah, I found out what the insides of a Portuguese Man O’ War smelled like, as did everyone else within a quarter mile downwind.

When the floating-gasbag idiot-animal washes up on shore and dies, it takes the other idiot-animals with him, and they can’t do anything about it because their free ride is over. Such is the life of a sycophant.

________________________

Okay, bear with me on this next one. Remember the classic 1959-1973 TV show “Bonanza?”  Here’s The instrumental TV theme (with opening credits).

The missus informed me that there were words to that great theme, and she’s right. The closing credits for the early episodes included “The Cartwrights” singing the theme (after apparently stumbling out of a saloon/cat house joint venture in Carson City) and mounting up to pick fights with and wreak havoc on the local populace before they rode back to their fortified enclave known as The Ponderosa:

[Little Joe] I’ve got a flair for women everywhere, Bonanza!
[Hoss] BONANZA! ¡AI-AI-AI!
[All] I’m gonna call on any gal at all, she’s gonna welcome me.

[Ben] I’m not afraid of any pretty maid, Bonanza!
BONANZA!
When I give a kiss to any pretty miss,
She’ll learn a lot from me!

[All] One for four, four for one
This we guarantee!

We got a right to pick a little fight – Bonanza!
BONANZA!
If anyone fights any one of us,
He’s gotta fight with me!

BTW, the best comment on that Utoobage link was posted by someone named 75yellowraven:

“144-441 what does that mean?”

The lyrics and acting were so laughably absurd that the clip was canned. Years later Lorne Greene sang the song with much different lyrics: Lorne Greene singing The Theme To Bonanza.

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But that’s not the weird part. The Bonanza Theme was orchestrated by David Rose, same guy who composed “The Stripper,” a number of TV theme songs, and this horrible piece of 1960s grocery aisle music:

Bet you couldn’t last the whole two-point-five minutes of that, so here’s almost a whole hour of The Beat Farmers circa 1984, featuring the late Country Dick Montana on drums, vocals, beer and belligerence.

Hope that grabs on, holds and squeezes you for this edition of The Saturday Matinee. Have a great weekend, even if you have to mow the snow.

P.S. If you ever wanted to sing along to The Chips‘ “Rubber Biscuit” we’ve got the Complete & Accurate day down sum wanna jigga-wah lyrics here.

15 Wieners

WeenieBoy

“Say there, young fellow, let’s go divvies!” says the ad.

Sounds like a predatory skinny-dipping proposal to me, or maybe it’s a way to get Boy Freckles to wash up in the retention basin so the hot dogs don’t smell like a 14-year-old boy’s armpits. Maybe he’ll lose those lens-less dork frames at the same time.

Instead, I’d tell him, “Now hold ’em all real still, boy. Here comes the chili, and it’s kinda hot.”

Great Banner.

PaleoFuture Banner

Click the image to see it in big awesome.

It screams GET OUTTA MY WAY BUTTHEAD.

Paleofuture is a great site. Pure unadulterated retro.

Swingers

Illusion Produced By A Ride In The Swing

[Found here.]

You Go First.

Lets Start A Cult

[Found here.]

Saturday Matinee – Chet Atkins & Leo Kottke; Rodrigo y Gabriela; Sidney Bechet, Django Reinhardt & Louis Armstrong

This video featuring Chet Atkins and Leo Kottke is entitled “Shut Up, Garrison.”

Here’s Rodrigo y Gabriela pickin’ and poundin’ on “El Diablo Rojo.”

Buncha great performers in that clip, including Sidney Bechet, Django Reinhardt & Louis Armstrong.

That should hold y’all for a while. Have a great weekend, folks, and remember to pick up after your dogs (the ones you voted in).

Nothing Much Happened Today.

Nothing Much Happened Today

[Found here.]

Hot Links of the Apocalypse

Wednesday Morning LA Traffic

Nice video: Los Angeles sans traffic.

Mrs. Straight Six has a nice collection of retromobiles.

36 years of family photos.

How to get a wash cloth wet in zero gravity and what happens when you wring out.

Serious crappy commercials. Serious.

It’s true. ESPN = PPPP.

Classic PPPLol.

RIP Nelson Mandela, who was not always an old man, nor was he a saint.

Nelson Mandela was the head of UmKhonto we Sizwe, (MK), the terrorist wing of the ANC and South African Communist Party. At his trial, he had pleaded guilty to 156 acts of public violence including mobilising terrorist bombing campaigns, which planted bombs in public places, including the Johannesburg railway station. Many innocent people, including women and children, were killed by Nelson Mandela’s MK terrorists. [via]

But then there’s always Little Isidore to lighten the mood.

Saturday Matinee – The Spotnicks, The Specials, Bad Manners & Buddy Guy

The Spotnicks’ “The Rocket Man” (1962). Pre-Devo awesome [via].

The Specials‘ “Ghost Town.” Too much fighting on the dance floor.

Ms. Wireways (?) a Jamaican radio DJ in Southern California in the ’80s, said this was the best reggae song ever. Bad Manners’ “Sampson & Delilah” fits the bill, even though the vid sucks donkeys. Close your eyes and listen instead – it is a pretty song.

Buddy Guy is one of the last original bluesmen. Here he is, backed up by G.E. Smith who is no slouch either.

That’s it for this edition. Have a great weekend, folks, and we’ll see you back here tomorrow.